Chapter Thirty-Eight After the Storm #2
Grace: Sutton do you need anything? I can be in the hospital in ten minutes with food, a toothbrush, clean underwear. Whatever you need!
Rylee: Did you tell Jayce we would’ve killed him if he died?
Stacey: Ignore Rylee. But seriously, how is everything?
I can’t help the small laugh that escapes me. Jayce glances down at my screen.
“The girls?” he asks.
I nod. “They’re threatening to storm the hospital.”
He huffs. “Tell them I’m fine.”
I type a quick response.
Sutton: He’s okay. Stab wound to the abdomen but nothing vital hit. Doctors say he’ll fully recover, it’ll just take a few weeks longer than Jayce likes.
Three typing bubbles pop up instantly.
Skyler: WHERE’S THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO DID IT??? Maybe the cops will let me talk to him for just a few minutes…alone…no cameras…
Grace: Skyler, you can’t murder the asshole who stabbed Jayce, as tempting as it might be.
Jayce chuckles under his breath.
Across the room, his phone lights up on the tray table beside us. With a groan, he grabs it and begins scrolling.
“The guys are texting too.” he hands me the phone. “Take a look.”
Carson: SKYLER SAYS WE’RE brEAKING INTO THE PRISON TO SHANK THAT LEON MOTHERFUCKER! IT’S ON!
Jensen: No, Carson, you can’t do that. Tell Skyler to put her nun chucks away.
Wilder: Besides, we need to wait for Jayce to heal up. He deserves the first blow.
Zander: How are you feeling, Jayce?
Owen: How’s Sutton? She okay?
“They’re worried,” I say, handing him back his phone so he can respond to their messages himself. “They’ll be glad to have you back on the ice, even if it does take a while.”
He groans as he sends off a text. “Don’t remind me. I’m going to lose my fucking mind waiting for the doctor to give me the go-ahead to play again.”
I chuckle, snuggling into his side again. “You need to be patient. You’re lucky as it is, and you don’t need to push yourself. Don’t worry, though. Your grandpa is arranging for you to have the best physical therapy and care possible. You’ll be back to your old self in no time.”
For a few minutes, neither of us speaks.
Then a quiet grunt slips from him.
I lift my head, worried. “Did I hurt you?”
He exhales through his nose. “No. It just hurts to breathe.”
My heart aches and guilt slams through me and I instantly try to pull away. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t be.” He slides his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer again. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
I gaze up at him, so grateful he’s here with me. I’m exhausted. Emotionally and physically tapped out, and all I want to do is put this whole day behind us, but there’s one question that I can’t shake. It’s rattling around in my head, making it impossible to relax enough to actually go to sleep.
Turning my face up toward him, I whisper, “Why did you do that?”
“Why did I do what?”
I frown. “Twist us so you took the attack and not me. They were after me. It’s all my fault you got hurt.”
His gaze locks with mine and when he answers, his voice is unwavering. “I did it because I love you.”
The words hit me like a physical force. My breath catches, and for a second, the room feels too quiet. My heart pounds so hard I can hear it in my ears. Instead of joy flooding through me, though, panic creeps in.
“Jayce…” I push myself up, staring down at him, searching his face. “You’re on pain medication.”
His brow furrows.
“You just went through something insane.” My voice tightens despite my best efforts to keep it steady. “Your adrenaline’s still crashing. You almost passed out earlier.”
“Sutton…”
“So don’t say things like that right now,” I blurt. “Not if you don’t mean them.”
“Starling…”
“No,” I cut in, my throat burning now. “I mean it. Don’t do that to me.”
He goes still.
“I know what this arrangement was supposed to be.” The words tumble out faster now. “And I know you said you didn’t want anything real, and that you didn’t believe in…”
“Sutton! Stop for just a damn minute!”
His voice is firm enough that I do finally stop talking. He sighs and pulls me back down against him. I resist for half a second, then I melt into him.
He runs his fingers through my hair and presses a slow kiss to my forehead.
“This isn’t the meds,” he says in a clear voice.
I shake my head against his chest.
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.”
“You just went through a traumatic…”
“Sutton, look at me.”
I look up again. His gaze is steady and clear.
“I love you,” he says again, slower this time.
My eyes sting as tears fill them.
“You don’t have to…”
“I’m not saying it because of what happened tonight,” he continues. “And I’m not saying it because I’m drugged up. I can’t pretend this is fake anymore, Sutt. I won’t.”
My heart hammers at his words and my blood hums with excitement and joy, but I contain it, keeping hold of my caution.
“But, you said…”
“Fuck what I said,” he insists. “I was wrong. You showed me that. Do you want to know why I love you so much?”
I can’t seem to find any more words, so I just nod.
“I love the way you walk into big events like you own the room,” he says. “Even though deep inside, you’re nervous as hell.”
A shaky breath leaves me.
“I love how you challenge the status quo,” he continues. “Just like you challenge me, whenever I need to have my butt kicked.”
His fingers tighten in my hair.
“I love the way you care about people. Your family. Your friends. And I love how much you care about what you do — with passion, with purpose”
His thumb traces along my jaw.
“I know this started as an arrangement, but somewhere along the way, I realized I wasn’t pretending anymore. I’ve just been… pretending to pretend.”
I can hardly believe this is happening…that I’m really hearing this.
Part of me thinks I have to be dreaming.
Pushing up onto my hands so I can look down at him, I search his face for any signs that he’s not being truthful.
That doesn’t make sense, but Jayce is always honest. Tears well up in my eyes and when I manage to choke out a reply, my voice trembles.
“I love you too,” I admit. “You see me in a way no one ever has before. Not as someone who needs to be perfect, or put together, or strong all the time. You see the parts of me I’ve spent years trying to hide…
and you didn’t try to fix me. You never made me feel broken.
” I pause, sucking in a deep, shaking breath.
“You gave me tools and space. You gave me control when I need it, and took it away when I needed to feel safe. Do you know how insane that is?”
Laughing, before he can say anything, I shake my head as my tears stream down my cheeks.
“I’ve spent years in therapy trying to quiet the voice in my head that tells me I’m not enough.
That I’m going to fail. Disappoint everyone.
Then you came in, and without even trying, you started proving that voice wrong.
You make me stronger. Braver. You make me feel like I can actually become the person I’ve always wanted to be.
You are the most amazing, loving man I’ve ever known, and I love you with all my heart. ”
“Sutt,” he murmurs. “Take the ring off.”
The words make my stomach drop.
“What?” I gasp.
“Take it off.”
A flicker of panic rushes through me.
“Jayce…”
He smiles softly. “Trust me.”
My fingers tremble as I slowly slide the ring off.
He nods once, holding out his hand. “Give it here.”
I place it in his palm. Then, before I can ask what he’s doing, he swings his legs over the side of the hospital bed.
“Jayce!” I cry, startled.
He grunts as his feet hit the floor.
“What are you doing? You’re hurt!”
“Hang on,” he mutters as he straightens, clearly fighting the pain of his injury.
Turning to face me, he slowly lowers himself onto one knee.
My hands fly to my mouth. “Jayce…”
He holds up the ring.
“Sutton Holloway,” he says, his smile wide, gaze locked on me, “Will you marry me? For real this time?”
My vision blurs and a sob bursts out of me.
“Yes!” I exclaim. “Yes, of course yes!”
Standing, he grabs my hand and threads our fingers together.
Relief and happiness flash across his face as he slides the ring back onto my finger. I barely give him time to stand before I throw my arms around him. He laughs softly against my lips as I kiss him.
“Then this isn’t for show anymore,” he whispers, kissing me back. “It’s real, Starling.”
I lean back and gaze up at him. “Why do you call me Starling? I’ve never asked, but I’ve always wondered.”
Running his fingers through my hair and tugging on the teal strands, he answers, “When I first saw that pop of teal in your hair, I knew it was a perfect representation of you. At first glance, a starling bird seems plain and black, but when the light hits its feathers, they shimmer with greens, purples, and blues. They’re beautiful, brilliant, and there’s so much more to them than meets the eye. Just like you.”
Smiling, he pulls me down into another kiss, and I can feel the silent promise in it.
This isn’t just real… it’s forever.