Ivy
My mate is falling apart in my arms.
And I am calm.
Completely, perfectly fucking calm, because one of us has to be and it isn't going to be him.
"Breathe," I whisper into his scarred throat. "Just breathe. I'm right here."
My hands shake so hard they skip across his back.
Okay.
Mostly calm.
His entire body heaves beneath my arms, both hands covering his face except for a few points showing between his fingers while those awful, raw snarls keep tearing out of his jaws.
My purr rattles out of me anyway, thin and uneven. I press my whole body against his, trying to push the vibration into him through his hoodie.
"You're okay," I murmur. "You're safe. Nobody's back here."
A growl rips through him. His fingers dig harder into his face, and I catch his wrists before he can hurt himself. He jerks away from me so violently his elbow clips the brick wall.
"Hey."
His head snaps up.
Bright blue eyes lock on mine between the dark fall of his hair and his scarred hands. His pupils are pinpricks and what I can see of his face is soaked with tears running only from his damaged eye. He doesn't look like he even recognizes me right now.
I freeze with my palms raised.
"It's me," I say softly. "Just me."
His nostrils flare. He drags in one breath through his nose, then another. His eyes stay on mine, but the recognition in them keeps slipping. It's there one second, gone the next.
Shit.
I need Valek. Wraith trusts Thane completely, but Thane is hours away. Valek is close, and terrifyingly competent. He doesn't have a car right now, but I know he'll find a way to get to me if I need him.
I know he will.
I keep one hand on Wraith's forearm and dig my phone out of my coat pocket with the other.
The screen won't fucking unlock.
My thumb skids across it. I try again, but my hand is shaking too badly to hit the numbers in the right order. The phone slips against my palm and bounces off the walkway.
"Fuck."
Wraith growls.
"Not you." I strain to reach to pick up my phone without letting go of his arm. "Never you."
His gaze follows every movement, the muscles in his forearms tensing beneath my hand at the scraping sound of my glass phone screen grinding against the rough concrete.
I switch to facial recognition.
The screen unlocks. I open Valek's contact and stab at the message box. The keyboard jumps under my thumb while I try to type.
IVY
ple as d cone
"Fuck."
Wraith's breathing gets louder. His head turns slowly toward the corner of the building as tires crunch over gravel somewhere in the parking lot.
I grip his arm.
"Stay with me."
His eyes flash back to mine as I brace my wrist against my bent knee and type one letter at a time.
IVY
val plea se come. hurr y. gordon med icla center
I hit send before I can fuck it up worse.
It hangs for a long time—my signal fucking sucks here—then delivers.
Thank the gods. I can't exactly go in there and ask for their wifi password. I can't leave Wraith. Not even for a second.
I shove the phone back into my pocket and turn back to him.
"Look at me. Please, Misha."
Nothing.
I rub my thumbs over the backs of his scarred hands.
His shoulders jerk.
"We need to get to the SUV. It's parked right there." I angle my head toward the front lot to remind him the correct direction is there and not the woods further back. But he isn't looking. "You can get in the back seat with the tinted windows."
A deep rumble builds behind his hands and one blue eye appears between his fingers.
"Come with me."
I hold out my hand, palm up.
He stares at it.
The medical center's ventilation system kicks on above us with a metallic clunk. Wraith jolts, a snarl tearing out of his throat, and his hand strikes flat against the wall as he starts to rise.
I stand with him, one hand locked in his and the other braced against his forearm. His body sways when he reaches his full height, his hands dropping to his sides.
"Easy," I murmur.
His face is completely exposed. Wraith himself doesn't shock or even surprise me anymore.
What does is that he's in full daylight like this, the sun lighting up his teeth and everything else he's usually so terrified of letting anyone see, too mentally fucked to do anything but lumber in my general direction like his brain and spirit have completely left his body.
"Just the SUV," I say, tugging on his hand again. "Ten seconds of walking. I promise."
We make it to the corner and the parking lot opens ahead of us. There aren't many cars, and there are maybe six people scattered between us and the black SUV.
Not many, but too many all the same.
"Eyes on me," I whisper, leading him. He steps off the curb and onto the asphalt of the parking lot with a low rumble. His breathing is ragged, but he's moving.
"That's it. You're doing great."
His boot crosses the faded line marking the edge of the service lane.
A woman beside a blue sedan looks up. She's talking and smiling, her phone propped between her ear and her shoulder as she digs in her purse for her keys.
Her eyes land on Wraith's body first, traveling up his impossible height, and then she sees his face.
Her mouth drops open with a cry.
The phone falls out of her hand and smacks the asphalt.
Wraith freezes, eyes locked on the shattered phone and the tinny voice shouting from it.
"HellooOOoo? Mandy? You still there?"
And now other people are staring, too. A kid is screaming bloody murder, his mom pulling him away frantically, like they're in a freaking zombie movie and my mate is the zombie.
Wraith is going to have to live like this.
Sick with sudden terror, I turn to try to get him to go in the other direction, but he's already gone.
I whip back around to glare at the woman.
"Seriously?" I shout at her.
I don't stick around to hear what she has to say for herself. I race after Wraith, my shoes pounding the concrete, and round the corner hard enough I trip and almost faceplant. I catch myself, arms windmilling, and skid to a stop.
Wraith is beside the dumpster, sitting with his back pressed to the wall, knees up, both hands clamped over his face. The growl rolling out of him is low and continuous.
It doesn't sound like his normal growl.
My pulse jumps into my throat, but I slow down before approaching. Fast movement is a bad idea. Touch might be worse.
I sit down on the cold, filthy concrete across from him. Close enough that he can see me and smell me, but just far enough that I'm not cornering him.
I rest my forearms over my knees and start purring again, batting my eyelashes up at him over my arms, trying to look cute and appealing because that usually works when he's having a feral episode.
His breaths scrape in and out behind his hands, the muscles in his back straining against his hoodie.
I match my breathing to the pace I want from him, focusing on evening out and strengthening my purr. The rumble from Wraith's chest gets louder, rough and warning, but he doesn't move away.
We sit like that for a while. Could even be half an hour. I don't dare move, even though my phone goes off in my pocket. Checking it means moving and possibly scaring him again.
If it's Valek, he'll find us.
And if it's anyone else, they can wait.
A gust of wind pushes a crumpled receipt across the ground between us. It catches against his boot, then flutters free, and I watch it tumble off into the bushes. A bee dodges it and floats past.
Wraith's head lifts half an inch, blue eyes tracking the bee between his fingers.
"That woman was an asshole," I mutter.
His eyes slide to mine.
"She dropped her phone. Probably broke it."
His growl catches for half a second.
"I hope it broke," I add. "And I hope it's expensive as fuck to fix it."
His fingers loosen slightly.
The door around the corner opens and closes. Wraith stiffens again, but he doesn't bolt. His hands stay pressed over his face. The only sound is a sparrow chirping in a tree somewhere above us.
My phone buzzes in my pocket again, twice.
Wraith's head snaps up this time, his hands dropping just enough to bare his eyes. They blaze over my shoulder, and the growl in his throat changes from broken to dangerous in one hard beat.
I reach for him. "Hey, it's okay, it's just my phone…"
"Well. This looks terrible."
I turn so fast at the sound of the low, accented voice, I fall on my ass. My jeans immediately soak through.
Great.
Valek is standing at the corner of the building, his hands casually in the pockets of his leather jacket. His white hair falls forward over one eye, stirred by the wind, and his angular face is completely dead serious with no hint of the usual amusement.
"You came," I manage to croak.
Valek tilts his head. "Of course I came."
"But… how did you get here so fast? A fucking rocket ship?"
"No," he says, taking me completely literally. "I drove."
"You drove," I repeat. "What, a rental?"
"Not exactly." His lips do twitch at that. "I can be very persuasive, love."
Okay. I'm not going to ask any more questions.
He comes closer, but not directly toward Wraith. Instead, he takes the long route around me and stops beside the dumpster, keeping several feet of open space between himself and my feral mate.
Wraith's eyes follow every step between his fingers, the constant low rumble never breaking.
"Did the good doctor have bad news?" Valek asks in a soft voice without looking back at either of us. He grabs a forked stick and uses it to push the lid up, peeking inside like he sees something interesting buried in the trash.
I nod, swallowing hard. "He can't wear masks anymore."
Valek's eyes flick to Wraith's hands, still pressed over his face.
"Any medication?" he asks.
"Four injections for nerve pain. His doctor's starting paperwork for BioMuzzle, too. She said that could stabilize the feral regression."
"I don't suppose she gave it to you today?"
"No. We have to get it from a compounding pharmacy."
"Understood."
His response is so calm I want to grab his jacket and scream at him until he gives me some of that calm. Just shoves it directly into my veins.
Instead, I rub my wet palms against my jeans.
"I can't get him through the parking lot," I whisper. "He tried. Someone saw him and didn't react well, and he…" I'm sniffing now, fighting back tears. "I don't know what to do, Val."
Valek's gaze drops to mine.
"He can't just stay here like this. He needs to get somewhere safe, but Cedarbrook is already stressful for him, and the motel is public, and… he won't even get into the fucking SUV."
And then I'm crying, really fucking crying, and I can't stop it. My face crumples and I snort to try to keep the snot from running.
"He was trying," I choke out. "He walked through the parking lot and he was holding my hand and he was trying, and people were looking at him like… like…"
I can't finish.
I press both hands over my mouth to try to muffle the sob and I completely fail. I'm so fucking pissed at myself. I'm not the one who needs comforting right now.
Wraith is. He's right there, so devastated and terrified he's going feral again, and I'm supposed to be his anchor. His omega. And instead, I'm sobbing next to a fucking dumpster and—
Valek crouches in front of me, taking my face in his palms and blocking my view of everything except him.
"Ivy."
I choke on the next sob.
"Breathe."
I suck in air and hold it. He waits until I let it out.
"I found one too many surprises in the motel while you were gone, anyway," he says, patting my head affectionately. "Let's go camping."
I stare at him, still sniffing and trying to wipe my nose without being too obvious about it. "Camping?"
"Yes." His silver eyes slide toward Wraith. "The forest is good for the soul. Good for ferality. Ask me how I know."
Behind Valek, Wraith's growl softens slightly. His hands are still over his face, but his fingers have loosened, blue eyes more visible between them now, beneath the choppy dark hair.
I nod. "Yeah." Another sniff. "Okay. Camping it is."
Valek stands and offers me his hand. I take it, letting him pull me to my feet.
My knees crack.
Valek raises an eyebrow.
"Shut up," I grumble half-heartedly. "I fell on my fucking ass when you snuck up behind me."
"I didn't sneak," he lies pleasantly, turning toward Wraith. "Let's go, then. We can even make some mores."
The way he says s'mores is strangely adorable and I laugh, finally, wiping my eyes.
"What's so funny about some mores?" Valek asks in an incredulous tone, shooting a judgmental look back at me.
And Wraith lets out the most aggressive growl yet.
His hands drop from his face as he straightens to his full height, shoulders rolling forward, his hood shadowing everything but the burning blue flare of light in his eyes and his grinning jaws.
The sound that comes out of him vibrates through the ground.
Valek pauses.
"Wraith," I say carefully. "It's okay. Valek wasn't actually angry. I promise."
His eyes don't leave Valek.
Valek steps between us even though it's him who has to worry, not me, keeping his hands in his jacket pockets and his shoulders loose. His white hair blows across his now completely impassive blank face like he's staring down death itself and doesn't have even the slightest flicker of fear.
"Our little lady wants to go camping," Valek says calmly. "You're coming with us, aren't you?"
Wraith snarls.
The sound prickles every hair on my body.
Valek doesn't move.
Wraith's scarred fingers curl into fists.
Oh, fuck.
They're going to tear each other apart.