Chapter 5 – Josie
chapter
five
Josie
I should have gone for a run, but I was exhausted and still getting used to my new schedule.
Maybe. But new friends and a glass of wine were exactly what you needed.
Kimmy uncorked the wine I brought and had a glass in my hand in seconds.
It was cheap and sweet, and that was all that mattered.
Lena handed me a plate full of lo mein and shrimp fried rice, and I had never been more grateful.
I settled onto their couch with a paper plate and a glass of wine and let myself exhale for the first time all day.
Lena sat on the floor with her back against the couch, lo mein in her lap, legs crossed and comfy. Kimmy was tucked into the armchair with an egg roll in one hand and her wine in the other.
She made it about ten minutes before the questions started.
“So,” Kimmy said. “Marcus Kane, huh? How did that even happen?”
I shrugged. “We’re from the same area. Our families know each other. My mom works for his dad as his CPA. I was always at his house with my mom. He was surprisingly nice. It just happened.”
“It just kind of happened,” Lena repeated, like she didn’t quite buy it.
“Three years is a long time,” Kimmy said. “That’s a big deal. That’s not just some high school thing.”
“Yeah, I guess.” I took a sip of my wine and smiled.
Lena watched me over the rim of her glass. “You guys survived long distance, though. That’s something.”
Kimmy opened her mouth to launch the next question, and my phone buzzed.
Marcus: Come over tonight
I set the phone face down on the cushion. I wasn’t in the mood right now.
“So tell me about this internship track, Lena. You mentioned that earlier?”
Lena was still watching me, but she allowed me to change the subject. We talked about the internship track, and a professor named Delaney, who apparently gave brutal midterms, and a job fair in November that Kimmy was planning to storm like a one-woman army.
It was good. I’d missed chilling with friends. At home, everything had been school, work, and training.
My phone buzzed again, and I glanced at it.
Marcus: I miss finger fucking you
Marcus: You’re giving me blue balls. What am I supposed to do with my hard-on?
I knew how this was going to go. My thumbs were already moving before I’d thought about it.
Me: See your right hand. It knows what to do. I’ll see you tomorrow.
The typing dots appeared. Disappeared. Appeared. Disappeared.
For several seconds, I held my breath and waited for his tantrum. I loved him and was happy not to have the long-distance dance anymore, but I also knew him well. If I wasn’t careful, I’d be running around at his beck and call. And I’d promised myself things were going to be different this time.
The guilt showed up right on schedule. He missed me.
I’d been busy with the move and classes and work study.
Maybe I was being too harsh. He was just frustrated.
And I was too. But if I was being honest, I was a little annoyed about the party, the blonde, the way he’d gone quiet on me.
I wasn’t really in the mood for lackluster makeouts and an ego stroke.
My phone buzzed again.
Marcus: Don’t be a bitch about it. Come over.
Marcus: I know you’re not busy with anything important. Stop playing games. You know what I need. Maybe I need to get someone else to deal with my dick.
I stared at the texts. Now this was the familiar Marcus. The words just sat there on my screen. Someone else.
Me: I’m at dinner with friends. Do what you need to do.
My stomach churned. Lena and Kimmy kept chatting around me like nothing was wrong, because for them nothing was.
Marcus: Fine. Be a bitch about it.
Normally, I’d rush to soothe him, but somehow, I wasn’t in the mood. Marcus was used to the old status quo. But I was a different person since he’d left me behind.
I put the phone face down on the cushion and picked up my wine. My pulse was loud in my ears, and I forced myself to breathe through my nose.
Don’t.
He was horny and cranky. He hated it when I was out without him, when I had a life that didn’t revolve completely around him. Tomorrow, he’d pretend everything was fine, that we never argued. But I wasn’t willing to slide into old patterns. New school, new me.
“Sorry,” I said. I had to clear my throat. “Where were we?”
“We were talking about you,” Kimmy said.
“Let’s not. Tell me about your love lives instead. Distract me.”
Kimmy put her hand over her heart. “I have made an executive decision to be the designated free spirit of this group. You two are in lockdown mode. Someone has to sample the available hotties and report back. I’m taking one for the team.”
“That’s very generous of you,” Lena said.
“I’m a giver,” Kimmy said with a smirk.
“What about you?” I said to Lena. “How’s Trace?”
Lena’s whole face changed. She giggled, actually giggled, and this huge grin spread across her face. “He has these stupid arms and this stupid smile, and I hate everything about how much I think about him.” She bit her lip. “And I really, really love his… smile.”
Kimmy choked on her wine. “His … smile.”
“His smile,” Lena said, laughing. “If either of you repeats a single word of what I just said, I will deny it until the day I die.”
I mimed locking my lips and throwing away the key.
“I mean, he also has nice shoulders,” Kimmy said. “And a very firm—”
“Kimmy!”
She put her hands up. “Strictly from an admiring observer. Moving on.”
I couldn’t stop the laugh. And for a few minutes, Marcus and his texts and the word “bitch” sitting in blue on my screen didn’t exist. It was just wine and lo mein and two girls I’d known for a week who already felt like friends.
I stayed another forty minutes, and as I got up to leave, they made me promise to come back next week.
“Good night, Josie,” Kimmy called from the kitchen as I let myself out.
“Night.”
“Oh wait,” called Lena. “There’s a game night thing at O’Leary’s tomorrow if you want to come. Fundraiser by Greek Row. We’ll be there if you’re interested.”
I shoved down my automatic response to say no. This was part of the college experience. Go out, have fun… even on a school night. “Maybe for a little bit.”
“Cool. We’ll come by and scoop you up.”
That was the kind of friend I needed, the kind who wouldn’t let me hermit. I’d worked so hard to get here. I deserved the full college experience.
I walked down the hallway, let myself into my apartment, and took a deep breath, letting the day roll off my shoulders.
Flipping the lamp on, I put the kettle on and opened the cupboard for the chamomile.
I had to be proud of myself, though. I’d made friends. I had a new job, and I was well on my way to getting my life back.
Since we’re on the subject, are we counting Waylon Johnson as a new friend too?
I didn’t answer that, which was an answer all by itself.