Chapter Six Mud Bath Confessions
SUTTON
Two blondes, two brunettes, and a massively pregnant redhead soak themselves in mud baths…
Well, techinically one of the blondes is pregnant too, but the joke doesn’t flow as well.
There’s a punchline there. I’m not sure what it is, but it’s probably dirty, and not because of the mud, though the feeling of it encasing my entire body is strangely … amazing. I just want to lay my head back, close my eyes, and soak, letting the thick goop suck away all my tension and worries.
Rylee and Stacey are in the baths to my right, while Skyler and Grace are to my left, seemingly out of reach of the mild freakout Rylee’s having right now.
I’ve missed Rylee so much, but man oh man, I’ve never seen her so obsessed over something before.
To be specific, she’s going on and on about all the things she’s found out that can go wrong with pregnancy, and…
I’m not going to lie, it’s really harshing my vibe.
It’s also making me really reconsider the thought of ever having kids of my own. I really don’t want to be like she is right now.
“Did you know if you’re low on iron, you can start craving dirt and stuff?” she asks Stacey, her tone low but strained.
Stacey, on the other hand, is chill as hell. She’s resting against the edge of her tub, her hair in a towel, munching on a bowl of cucumbers I’m pretty sure are supposed to be for our eyes.
“Yeah,” she nods between bites. “I ate a handful of pot soil once when I was pregnant with Millie. Wouldn’t recommend. So crunchy.”
I shoot her an incredulous gaze, horrified and fascinated. She doesn’t notice. She continues being, well, as chill as a cucumber.
“Are you serious?” I ask, and she shoots me a teasing grin.
“Nah, I’m just kidding. I didn’t do that. I know it can happen, but you’ll be fine, Rylee.”
Rylee’s eyes are wide circles. “What if I am one of the people who craves dirt? Like what if I wake up one day and I’m like… yum, backyard.”
“Rylee, babe, I’ll season it for you,” I tell her, trying to contain a serious face. “I’m not letting you raw-dog soil like some kind of unsupervised toddler.”
She gives me a relieved giggle, the other girls joining along. “I’m so lucky to have you guys looking out for me. I read that the longest recorded pregnancy was three hundred and seventy-five days. How is that possible? Doesn’t that terrify you?”
Stacey waves her hand dismissively. “Beulah Hunter. Gave birth on February 21, 1945. That won’t happen to you, though. Don’t worry.”
What the actual fuck? Why does she just know that?
Rylee chews on her bottom lip for several moments before asking, “What about pooping during delivery?”
I screw up my nose in disgust, but I don’t say anything because I’m not exactly an authority on the subject.
But good lord! Maybe I should look into surrogacy?
It’s not like I need to really think about that now.
I’m not going to even consider kids until I’ve got my career figured out, and that’s a bit of a fucking mess.
And yet, I’m straining my ears to make sure I catch Stacey’s response.
She’s laughing. “You’re going to do a lot more than poop. That’ll be the least of your worries.”
This is like a car crash that I just can’t look away from. However, that’s not the worst of it. Rylee glances around like she’s too afraid to say the next thing on her mind.
“What about contractions? Are they really that bad?”
Stacey shrugs. “They feel like your spine is trying to exit your body, but it’s fine. You just breathe through it.”
“Breathe through it?” I exclaim. “Girl, that sounds like an exorcism.”
Stacey appears thoughtful for a moment. “Kind of… you are expelling a whole being out of you. That’s technically an exorcism.”
My jaw drops. “Fuuuuuck…I’ll never watch The Exorcist the same again.”
Rylee speaks in a horrified whisper, “You can tear from your pink to your stink.”
I choke, literally choke, on thin air and start hacking uncontrollably.
“Holy shit, Sutt!” Grace gasps, reaching over to swat my back, dripping mud across the floor. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah… yeah, I’m good,” I assure her, sucking air into my burning lungs. Turning my wide-eyed stare to Rylee, I rasp, “What did you just say?”
Rylee blinks back at me. “Uh… during delivery. You can tear, like, from one hole to the…”
“Dah, dah, dah, dah!” I exclaim, shaking my head. “Never mind, never mind. I don’t want to hear.”
“What the hell are you guys talking about over there?” Skyler asks from two tubs over.
“The nightmare that is womanhood, apparently,” Grace answers with an arched brow.
Stacey chuckles and gives Rylee a reassuring smile. “I didn’t tear that bad, but I did tear. Hockey players can make some big babies. Did you also know they can vacuum the baby out if they need to?”
“Why would you tell me that?” Rylee exclaims, slapping her hands to her cheeks, forgetting that her palms are covered in mud, so now her face is too.
Taking a few moments to wiggle her way to a sitting position, Stacey reaches over to Rylee’s tub and takes her hand, giving it a squeeze.
“Hey, I know it’s scary, especially the first time around, but everything will be okay.”
“How can you be sure?” Rylee’s voice is small, scared. I feel my heart break a little for her, and I want to give her a hug. Before I can move, Stacey replies.
“Because you’re not alone. You have Zander, your family, and us!
Plus, you’re tough as hell. You’re going to get through this, and when you’re holding your baby in your arms, you’ll forget all about the less-than-fun parts of pregnancy and how scared you were.
Just imagine, I went through it all and here I am, doing it a second time. ”
I relax when I see Rylee relax. Oh, that’s a really nice sentiment…
“On the other hand, babies grow to become kids…” Stacey chews on her last cucumber, and shrugs. “And then you’ll just be scared of fucking your kid up, and that fear won’t really ever go away.” Stacey sighs and sinks back into her mud.
“Oh, well, thanks for that!” Rylee groans.
Stacey chuckles. “I’m just kidding. Kind of.
But really, Rylee, it’s going to be all right.
And when you’re my size and nearing the finish line, Zander will be there to rub your feet and I’ll bring you beef jerky and whipped cream.
Which is an awesome combination, by the way.
You’ve got your tribe with you every step of the way. ”
Rylee smiles softly and sinks back into her mud.
“I have to say, Zander’s been so great since we got back together.” Her voice takes on an almost dreamy tone. “Not just with my pregnancy, but everything. I never thought I’d have what we have, and now I can’t imagine my life without him.”
I grin because I don’t remember ever seeing Rylee this happy before. Zander is a good guy, and he’s good to her. What more could a BFF ask for?
None of the guys my mom keeps trying to throw my way hold a candle to Zander, or any of the other guys in our little group.
They’re all so loving and attentive to their women, but the men I interact with on a regular basis are more interested in stock prices and dividends than they are in a relationship, especially with me.
I know I wouldn’t be a top priority for any of them, and that’s a nonstarter for me.
If I’m going to take time away from my work to pursue a relationship, I need to know I’m a priority, and vice versa.
Unfortunately, I can’t spare the time or mental space necessary for something like that right now, so it’s not something I should dwell on.
“I know, right?” Stacey looks dreamy now too.
Good god, these women are all lovesick kittens!
“Owen has been so doting since we got back together, and damn, he’s such a good dad to Millie.
You know how some people are really into dads?
I never got it before Owen, but fuck, it gets me hot when I see him having a tea party. ”
“Jesus, you bitches are crazy.” I shake my head with a chuckle and settle back into my own mud. “You’ve all lost your damn minds.”
“You’re probably right,” Rylee nods. “I don’t mind it at all, though.”
We laugh and the conversations shift to other topics, but I stay quiet. I love my girls, but their extroverted energy is hard to keep up with sometimes. Now they all are gaga over their men, and I… I can’t help feeling like I’m falling behind a little bit. The odd woman out.
A strange longing settles over me. Not just for the former glory of the days when we were all single girlies living it up together, but also because a part of me kind of wants what they have for myself.
To have someone so devoted to me. Who loves me and spoils me and wants nothing more than for me to be happy.
God, I need to stop thinking about these things!
Someday, maybe, I’ll have that. But not right now.
I’m too busy. Work is my number one priority right now, and I can’t afford any distractions.
No super hunky hockey players, no GQ models…
I mean, if Henry Cavill or Sebastian Stan came knocking on my door, I wouldn’t turn them down, but otherwise, this vagina’s on lockdown.
Ugh, that’s a depressing thought.
My thoughts are interrupted when an attendant comes into the room, dressed in the white uniform all the spa employees are wearing. She smiles as she comes to a stop in front of us.
“Ladies, have you enjoyed your time in the mud baths?”
“Yes,” we all say, nearly in unison.
“It’s been wonderful,” Stacey adds, releasing a long breath.
“I’m very happy to hear that.” The attendant claps her hands together in apparent delight. “If you will all follow me, I’ll show you to the showers, and then you will move on to the salon for your manicures and pedicures.”
“Oooh, foot massage.” Stacey sounds downright giddy and begins wiggling to try and stand up in her bath.
“Woah there, mama!” Rylee pops to her feet, naked and muddy, to rush to Stacey’s aid so fast that she nearly trips herself. “Take it easy. Owen’s going to have our asses if you come back with even a bruise.”
“All right, all right,” Stacey nods, accepting Rylee’s hand as she steps out of her tub. “Sorry, I got excited. My feet are so swollen, I look like I’m walking around in clown shoes.”
A quick glance at her feet shows me that’s not in fact true. They may be a bit swollen, but they’re still quite dainty.
We all get out of the mud and follow the attendant as she leads us into a separate room with rows of large, individual showers. There are shampoos, conditioners, and body washes sitting in little caddies in each stall. One even has a bench where Stacey can sit as she rinses herself off.
As I step under the hot spray of my shower to wash away the thick layer of smooth mud coating my skin, I push away all thoughts of men and loneliness, doing my best to ignore that feeling of longing that continues thumping deep in my chest. I’m going to enjoy this weekend with my friends, and I’m not going to worry about what’s waiting for me at home.
All too soon, I’ll be back with my family, fighting to prove my worth and abilities, all while dodging the uptight suitors my mom constantly throws my way.