Chapter 30 Talia
TALIA
Back at Home
Inever thought I’d come back here.
I’m in the little apartment attached to my father’s house, the one with its own narrow entrance around the back and the tiny kitchenette.
It used to feel like I was trapped here.
But now it’s become my sanctuary, and I’m more grateful for it than I’ve ever been in my life.
Dad has no idea I’m here, thank God.
But I couldn’t stay at Jake’s. The second that test showed two lines, I knew I couldn’t stay.
I know I’ll have to tell him eventually.
Of course I do. I’m not delusional.
But not before I’ve wrapped my own head around it.
Not before I’ve figured out what this means for me… for him… for us.
Us.
The word makes my throat hurt.
I sit cross-legged on the couch with a blanket around my shoulders even though I’m not cold. My phone lies facedown on the coffee table like it bit me. I haven’t been brave enough to turn it over in the last half hour.
Or maybe it’s been an hour?
Time feels wrong tonight. Everything feels wrong.
I’m grieving already, and that’s the most humiliating part.
Nothing has technically ended.
Jake and I haven’t broken up. There hasn’t been a fight. He hasn’t looked at me with disappointment yet. He hasn’t said any of the things I’m terrified he’ll say.
And still, some part of me is mourning.
Because I know how this story goes.
He told me, plain and clear, that children aren’t in his plan. That there’s no room in his life for them.
And now I’m pregnant.
I close my eyes.
I didn’t plan this. I took my pills. I was careful.
But that won’t matter if he thinks it’s my fault.
I know I’m in love with him. There’s no question about that. And I know he cares about me. I know what we had.
But wanting me isn’t the same as wanting a baby with me.
I drag in a shaky breath and force my eyes open.
The doorbell rings.
Who could it be? I haven’t ordered any packages here since I moved in with Jake.
I stand slowly, blanket slipping off my shoulders.
The bell rings again. Impatient.
I move toward the door on legs that don’t feel steady. My palm is damp against the knob. I don’t know why I already know before I open it.
I just do.
The door swings inward.
Jake stands there.
For a second, the whole world goes still.
He’s in dark jeans and the gray hoodie I like, the sleeves shoved up, hair slightly messy like he’s run his hands through it too many times. His face is set in that hard, determined way I’ve only seen when he’s made up his mind and no force on earth is going to move him.
Our eyes lock.
Shock hits first. Then fear. Then something so achingly tender I almost double over from it.
Love.
Mine. His. Both. I can’t tell anymore where one starts and the other ends.
“Jake,” I whisper.
He doesn’t answer immediately.
His gaze moves over my face, taking inventory. Red eyes. Tear tracks. The sweatshirt I threw on, not caring what I look like. The fact that I’m here.
Then he lifts one hand.
And in it—
My stomach drops so hard I think I might be sick.
The pregnancy test.
“You forgot this,” he says quietly.
For a second, all I can hear is blood roaring in my ears.
He knows.
He knows.
He knows.
I take half a step back on instinct, and his expression changes instantly, something sharp and pained flashing through it.
“No,” I say too fast, too breathless. “Jake, I can explain.”
His brows draw together, but I’m already talking. The words spill out in a panicked rush before he can stop me.
“I didn’t plan this. I swear to God, I didn’t. I took my pills, I always take my pills, and I didn’t want to— I would never try to trap you, Jake, I would never—”
“Talia.”
My voice keeps going anyway, wild and fast and humiliating.
“I know what you said about kids and I know this is the worst possible thing and I know it probably looks bad, but I didn’t do this on purpose, I swear, I swear—”
“Talia, stop.”
He steps inside and closes the door behind him without taking his eyes off me.
I’m still shaking my head, still trying to defend myself against accusations he hasn’t even made.
“I’m sorry,” I blurt, because apparently that’s the only thing I know how to be tonight. “I’m so, so sorry.”
Then he’s in front of me.
He cups my face in both hands.
“Talia,” he says again, and this time his voice is low and steady enough to cut through the panic. “Stop.”
I do.
Not because I’m calm.
Because his hands are warm and familiar and devastatingly gentle, and for one suspended second all I can do is stare at him and wait for him to destroy me.
He looks wrecked. Like someone gutted him from the inside.
“Listen to me,” he says.
I swallow hard.
His thumbs brush under my eyes, catching tears I didn’t even realize were there.
Then he says the last thing I expect.
“I love you.”
The room actually goes silent.
The outside world. The clock. My heartbeat. Everything.
My mouth parts, but no sound comes out.
Jake’s forehead rests against mine.
“I love you,” he says again, rougher this time, like the words have been fighting to get out for a while now. “And if there’s a baby coming…”
His breath catches for just a second.
Then he lets out the smallest, almost disbelieving huff of a laugh.
“…then I’m the luckiest guy alive.”
Something inside me breaks wide open.
A sob tears out of me so suddenly it startles us both.
Jake’s hands tighten on my face.
“No, hey,” he says quickly, his own voice unsteady now. “No, Sunshine, that wasn’t supposed to make you cry.”
I laugh and cry at the same time, which is an ugly, messy sound, but I can’t stop. The relief is too big. The whiplash too severe.
“I thought—” I choke out, then have to stop and breathe. “I thought you’d hate me.”
His whole face softens in a way I’ve never seen before.
“Hate you?” he repeats, like the idea is absurd.
I nod helplessly.
“You said you never wanted kids,” I whisper. “I… I thought maybe you’d think I did this on purpose, or that I ruined everything, or that this would make you resent me and—”
He actually laughs.
Softly. In disbelief. Tender and wrecked and a little broken around the edges.
“Sunshine,” he murmurs, shaking his head. “I married you drunk and still kept you.”
A watery laugh escapes me.
His smile fades into something more serious.
“You really thought I’d believe you trapped me?”
My silence is answer enough.
Jake closes his eyes briefly, like that thought physically pains him.
When he opens them again, they lock onto mine.
“What I said was before I realized everything you mean to me. A lot has changed since then. And now I can’t imagine living my life without you by my side.”
He pauses, his voice softer.
“If we weren’t already married, I’d ask you to marry me.”
My heart stutters.
“There’s no one else I could imagine as the mother of my children. With you… I can’t not imagine having a family.”
His gaze holds mine, steady and certain.
“I want everything, Talia. Everything you’re willing to give me.”
My knees feel weak.
He slides one hand down to my waist and pulls me against him, slowly, giving me time to resist if I want to.
I don’t. I go willingly.
I fold into him like my body has been waiting to hear exactly this.
His arms wrap around me, solid and warm and sure.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” he murmurs into my hair.
I let out a shaky breath against his chest. “I’m sorry I ran.”
His hand moves slowly up and down my back, the motion soothing.
“It’s okay,” he murmurs into my hair. “You were scared.”
I pull back just enough to look up at him.
“You came after me.”
“Yeah.”
“You found me.”
His mouth twitches. “You’re not hard to track when you leave your evidence in my guest bathroom.”
Despite everything, I laugh.
His expression softens again at the sound.
Then I say the thing that’s been clawing at my chest for weeks.
“I love you too.”
The words rush out of me, like they’ve been waiting at the edge of my mouth for too long. “I love you so much—”
I want to say more, but—
He kisses me. Like he can’t help himself.
His mouth is soft and warm, tasting faintly of mint.
Relief surges through me so fiercely it feels like a second heartbeat.
When he pulls back, his nose brushes mine.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he says.
I believe him.
That’s the astonishing thing.
I believe him completely.
I lean into him again and he holds me tighter, one hand cradling the back of my head.
We stay like that for a long moment, just breathing each other in, collecting the pieces of ourselves that were scattered all over the floor five minutes ago.
Then Jake pulls back enough to look down at me.
“Are you okay?” he asks softly, and there’s such genuine worry in his eyes that my chest aches all over again.
“I don’t know,” I admit, laughing weakly through tears. “I think so. I think I’m in shock.”
“Yeah,” he says. “Same.”
His hand drifts, tentative, to my stomach.
The gesture is so gentle it almost breaks me.
He rests his palm there for a second, like he’s trying to understand the enormity of it. I cover his hand with mine.
“We don’t even know for sure yet,” I whisper. “I mean, I know the test was positive, but we haven’t seen a doctor or—”
“We will,” he says immediately.
The certainty in his voice makes me smile. “Okay.”
We stand there a little longer, still touching, still stunned.
His forehead presses against mine. Quietly, he says, “Come home,” like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
My eyes sting again.
Home.
I nod. “Okay.”
He kisses me once more, slow and relieved, then reaches down and grabs my bag like this was always how tonight was supposed to end.
I almost laugh.
“You really expected to leave with me,” I say.
He looks over his shoulder. “Sunshine, I drove here already planning to fight for you.”
***
Back at Jake’s house later, everything feels changed and exactly the same at once.
Bear nearly launches himself into my arms the second I step through the door, wriggling with joy and zero understanding of emotional nuance.