Chapter 56
FRANKIE
On Match Day, all of the fourth year students who are on campus gather together for lunch.
Some of us are going to get emails confirming that we got one of our top three picks for residency.
Others are going to need to re-roll the dice and try to find a residency program through a secondary process.
It’s exciting and stressful and those are not good emotions for my nervous system and the growing uterus inside me.
“Why are you huffing hand sanitizer?” Liz asks.
“It smells good.”
“No it doesn’t.” Sloane shakes her head. “And you’ve never done that before. You’re inhaling it like it’s greasy macaroni and cheese.”
Against my will, my stomach heaves and I have to shove my hands in front of my nose again.
I’m saved from having to explain why I suddenly don’t like the sound of home cooked macaroni by the clock ticking over to noon and email notifications starting to ping.
My phone doesn’t vibrate at first. Ten seconds go by. Twenty. And then a message drops into my inbox.
Francesca Wilson, it is our honor to welcome you to the UCLA Emergency Medicine Residency Program.
I read it over and over again.
Beside me, Sloane bounces in her seat. Liz jumps up and shoves her arms in the air.
“I’m staying here,” I whisper.
I take a screenshot and send it to Logan.
“I’m staying,” I say louder. Then I’m jumping with Liz, and we’re hugging.
“I’m staying too,” she says.
“Me three,” Sloane says, although there wasn’t much question of her matching here. Of course she was. But that we all get to stay…
“This is amazing.” I start crying. They wipe my tears away, my beautiful friends, my found family. I hug them so tight they squeak. Both of them, at the same time.
My phone goes off again.
Logan
So proud of you
Can I buy you that canal house now?
I burst into a fresh wave of tears. Liz takes my phone and replies with God knows what, probably enthusiastic permission, signed with her own name.
The next day is another milestone.
Logan
13 weeks, baby!
Also 13 weeks baby
Frankie
You’re really into this app, huh?
Logan
Apparently s/he is the size of a small peach
Frankie
Better than a Brussels sprout
And then the day after that, the third milestone of the week for our little family.
Logan
Fucking playoffs bound!!!!
Frankie
I’m excited for you!
Logan
You’re my lucky charm
Frankie
No, it’s all you, mister
Logan
Never made the playoffs before I met you
That’s science
Frankie
Pretty sure you being at a point and half per game since January is better science
Logan
You know my stats
Logan
But also…since January
Frankie
Maybe sexting orgasms are good for your game
Logan
Best science
I wait for him to ask me to come. My stomach twists in on itself, nervous about how that would go, trying to reason with myself that it would be fine.
But he doesn’t ask.
And I tell myself that’s better, that I can cheer him on from afar. I can give him orgasms and moral support from a safe cross-continent distance.