Chapter 36 #2
The irony of having Madison Wilder as my first girlfriend is like a slap to my face. My mom would’ve loved her.
“I’m trying to protect you, Matthew,” she insists, her hand reaching for my arm, desperation in her eyes.
I pull away, gesturing behind her. “Your fifth husband is waiting.”
The barb hits its mark. Her face tightens, a flicker of hurt flashing across her features before she masks it. Tears threaten her eyes, but she blinks them away with practiced ease.
“I may not be the perfect mother, but I’m only human,” she says, her voice softer now. “Do you remember growing up with your grandmother or your grandfather, my parents?”
I shake my head, a twinge of sadness hitting me as I realize I don't even recall my own father that much.
Her next words come out in a rush like she can't hold them back anymore. “Is that what you want for your kids? Life is short, but the days are long. Who you choose to be with matters, and I would have never guessed you would choose a girl who's exactly like your mother.”
My stomach sinks, and I'm speechless, her words hitting me like a sucker punch to the gut. What did she just say? She's insulting herself? This is her problem? She sees herself in Amber Hughes?
Fuck. Me.
“Yeah. That’s my problem,” she says, her chin lifting.
“And look at me, Matthew. I'm on my fifth husband.
I'm not saying she'll make the same choices that I have because she has you and you're a good man, honey.
But you're my boy, and I want what's best for you.
Save yourself the trouble. That's all I'm saying.”
The fight drains out of me, leaving me feeling hollow. The pain I feel of not having a real family other than my own mother hits me. She’s right, and she has a right to worry about my future children. “Okay, mom. I understand.”
She reaches out, patting my face gently. The gesture is so familiar, so maternal, it makes my chest ache.
“When I'm playing in the NHL, I promise I'll take care of you,” I say, the words tumbling out before I can stop them. It’s always been my goal, and she knows it.
A small smile tugs at her lips. “I know, honey, but that money will be yours for you and your family. I'm a survivor. You know I manage.” She looks behind her. “I have to go. I love you, honey.”
“I love you too, Mom.” I’m not so mad anymore.
“Thank you for coming this weekend. You're my world.”
We exchange a quick kiss on the cheek, the scent of her perfume lingering as she pulls away.
I watch her walk towards James, her heels clicking against the marble floor, each step taking her further away from me.
I feel sad for her, worried that she’ll never know true happiness.
It makes sense as to why she’s kept me on a tight string until recently.
She’s doing the best that she can with what she knows.
As she disappears through the revolving doors, I'm left standing alone in the lobby, my mind reeling from our conversation. The weight of her expectations, her fears, and her own regrets settle on my shoulders. But beneath it all, I can’t turn away from what I feel for Amber.
And I'm not about to let anyone – not even my mom – dictate my future.
Suddenly, a warm hand slides around my bicep, and I look down to find Amber's bright eyes gazing up at me. My heart does a little flip in my chest, the tension from earlier immediately melting away.
“Hey, baby,” I say, unable to keep the smile from my voice.
Amber's attention shifts past me, and she calls out, her voice carrying across the lobby, “Bye, Mrs. Holmes!”
I turn to see my mom pause at the revolving doors. She plasters on a smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes as she takes in the sight of Amber tucked under my arm. The contrast between her earlier words and this facade of politeness is jarring.
Pulling Amber closer, I drop a kiss on the top of her head, breathing in the familiar scent of her shampoo. It grounds me, reminding me of what matters most to me, and it’s this person right here. I lift my free hand to wave goodbye to my mom and James.
Amber tilts her head up at me, her brow furrowing slightly. “You didn't get coffee yet?”
Her question brings me back to the present, and I realize I'm still standing in the same spot, coffee-less and a bit dazed. The smell of freshly brewed coffee wafts over from the hotel's Starbucks, making my stomach growl.
“No,” I admit, running a hand through my hair. “Not yet.”
Amber's eyes search mine, and I can see the questions forming. But instead of prying, she just squeezes my arm gently. “Okay. Well, let's fix that.”
As we start walking towards Starbucks, Amber's warm presence at my side, I feel the weight of my mom's words start to lift. Whatever challenges we might face, I know that right here, with Amber, is exactly where I want to be.
After we place our orders and receive our coffees, she says, “Beach walk?”
I agree, following her down the same path as yesterday.
I can't help but steal glances at Amber as we walk. The wind tousles her hair, and the morning light catches the color in her cheeks as she looks at me. It's a moment that is making me wonder how I got so lucky with her.
“So,” Amber starts, her voice playful but with an undercurrent of concern. “What did your mom say?”
I sigh, looking at the sand and realizing there are seashells along the shore. “She told me that you worked on her divorce case.”
She doesn’t agree or disagree. After a moment, she says, “I can’t discuss it.”
I nod. “How long have you known?”
She shakes her head. “I can’t discuss any details with you, okay?”
When I pause and turn to face her fully, she appears to be annoyed.
“I’m not pressing,” I reassure her. “I just thought you could give me a timeframe.” Now my mind is racing. “Did you know at the night of the party? When we danced?”
“Why does it matter?” she asks.
“Because I didn’t know. I only found out last week because Grey finally decided to tell me. So, you must’ve known before then. Did you know this whole time?”
She sighs. “I don’t know why you’re making a big deal–”
“I’m asking you questions. That’s not me making a big deal.”
“Okay,” she says, no longer defensive. “I’m not comfortable talking about work. I’m sorry.”
“You know all the details, don’t you? You know exactly what my mom got out of it. You know what she was trying to get from Jaysen. This is fucked up.”
“I’m a professional, Matt. It’s my job.”
I squat down to pick up a pink and white shell and ask, “Did you want to tell me?”
She looks down at me and says, “I do my job, and mind my own business. But I guess… my answer would be yes. But I didn’t want to get fired, so I avoided talking about it.”
I stand, approaching her. “If you could tell me a timeframe, I could put the puzzle pieces together.”
She shakes her head. “I can’t.”
I grab her hand and hold it open. I’m going to give her this beautiful seashell if she can answer my question honestly.
“Do you care about me?” I ask.
She nods as her eyes watch mine. I hold back my smile, knowing exactly when she started to care for me. The soft spot started when her law firm took my mom’s case. That’s the only explanation.
“I guess you’re not heartless after all,” I add, glancing at the seashell I’m still holding.
“What do you mean?” she asks.
I shrug. “It’s all starting to make sense now. When I started working at the Grind Stone, I knew something changed. You don’t have to say anything, but now I know it’s because you knew. You knew details about my mom…and you felt bad. You stopped being so hard on me.”
She rolls her eyes. “That’s not true.”
I hold her and say, “It is true. We barely played pranks once I started working at the Grind Stone. Why?”
She holds back whatever she’s about to say.
I place the shell in her hand. “I know you, Amber. You don’t need to say anything. I’m not mad that you knew. As for my mom, she thinks six months is a big deal, so she wanted to warn me before we get too serious.”
“Aw,” she pouts. “Is mommy protecting her baby?”
I close her hand over the shell and cup her face gently, my thumb tracing her cheekbone. “I’m not joking. What we have? It's real. It's ours. No one else gets a say in that. No one will get in the way of that.”
A small smile tugs at her lips. “Not even your mom?”
“Especially not my mom,” I chuckle, leaning in to press a soft kiss to her forehead.
She glances in her palm. “This is pretty.”
“Just like you.”
She blushes as I hold her hand and walk the shoreline.
This right here.
It’s all that matters.
I grab her, pulling her into me. I stare into her eyes for a few silent beats. “Amby,” I joke. “Amber, baby.”
Her gaze meets mine with the softness she only has for me.
I caress her face, taking in her beautiful features.
“I think I love you.”
“You think?” she says sarcastically.
I rub her cheek, nodding. And then we’re kissing, slow and sweet. It’s full of love and promise and forever. God, this woman. She’s fucking everything.
She pulls back and mutters, “Don’t laugh.”
I’m already smiling.
“I’m serious, Matt. Don’t laugh.”
I nod, knowing that I have to stop smiling. I swallow, hiding my excitement about whatever she’s going to say. My dick is already hard, and it’s distracting.
Okay. Don’t laugh. Don’t smile.
“I used to have dreams of you,” she murmurs.
“Dreams?” I ask like I didn’t hear her right.
She nods. “When we were in high school, and then even after I graduated high school. Actually for years.” She stares off into the distance and confirms, “Yeah. Years.”
“Okay,” I say.
“You know when I tackled you down the stairs and then I landed on you?”
I nod, remembering that.
“Well, I got more upset because of how cute you were.”
I hold her at arm’s length. “That’s why you wailed on me like an ape?”
She blushes, holding my arms as she walks backward. “Like an ape,” she laughs. “That’s so embarrassing.”
“Tell me about these dreams,” I demand.
She sighs. “I would dream that we would be fighting and then I’d be kissing you. Sometimes we’d hook up. Sometimes I would punch you. Every time I woke up, I’d be even more mad at you.”
“Oh,” I nod. “That explains the fueled anger… How am I in your dreams?”
She smirks. “Not as good as you are in person.”
I grab her and kiss her. “Yeah?”
She kisses me and then pulls back. “I think I love you too.”
I take her by the waist, spinning her around. When I stop, I say, “Say it again.”
“Matt, I think I’ve always wanted you. I love you.”
I pull her into a tight hug as her lips crash against mine. I need to show her that with every touch, every word, every breath that I’m completely fucking gone for her. I’m the luckiest man alive right now.
I smile, holding her close.
“I love you too, Amber.”