30. Ethan
30
ETHAN
It’s crazy how change sneaks up on you.
Two months ago, I’d never have guessed that a few days to Christmas would find me standing under swirls of green, silvers, and reds, smiling as I take in a room of perfectly strung garlands, fairy lights cascading down the high windows like icy waterfalls and a towering Christmas tree laden with ornaments.
Of course, I still miss David, and there’s that dull ache in my chest that reminds me that I’d rather be spending time with my brother during this season, but it doesn’t feel like the dark, dank dungeon of hopelessness that I’ve had to endure the past two years.
And that’s all because of one woman—Holly.
With her it’s easier to smile. Easier to let go of the pain that’s gripped my chest for years. Easier to look at this grand hall gleaming under strands of delicate lights and believe that Christmas might not be a season cursed for the rest of my life.
Ryan, Lauren, Liam, and I have outdone ourselves with the hall, and the sight of the lights casting a soft glow across the tables neatly set with Holly-approved arrangements fills me with a flicker of pride. It’s been a long day of planning, positioning, and more glitter than any grown man should be near and our effort shows in every last detail. Holly would be amazed with what we’ve done here and there’s the thrill in seeing her stamp of approval come to life.
My fingers reach in my pocket for my phone and I take a few shots. A slow grin creeps in— Holly’s going to love this. I send off the photos, with a short, “That good enough for the boss?” Then I lean against the wall, waiting for her response with the anticipation of a kid waiting for Santa.
My phone beeps, pulling my eyes back to the screen as it lights up, only to see a flurry of team messages from the group chat. My thumb ignores them as I wait for Holly’s reply—that’s all that matters.
I don’t know whether to be grateful or worried about her little collapsing situation earlier today.
It’s been a blur of days. It’s been years, really, since my brother’s accident; every Christmas has carried that bite of loss since. Yet now Holly’s here, filling spaces in my life I didn’t even know were empty. And suddenly, I want to be honest, to let her in completely. Tonight, I’ll tell her everything.
I shake off the silence. Holly is probably just caught up with some detail or another. But a strange feeling worms its way in. Memories start drifting up, uninvited. The look on her face when she collapsed earlier—an image burned into my mind like a brand. I’m not the kind of guy who scares easily. I’ve stared down guys twice my size, faced roaring crowds in sold-out arenas, and fought on the ice while a thousand people screamed. But seeing her go pale, just fade like that, was something else.
And now, this silence.
My phone buzzes. A notification lights up, but it’s just the team’s group chat. I ignore it, eyes flicking back to the room, taking in every detail. For the first time in years, I know exactly what I want—and I want Holly. Not just for now but for whatever comes next.
“Ethan!” The sharp call snaps me out of my thoughts.
I turn to see Ryan, looking like he’s stepped on a nail. It’s a look that says, Get ready to hate everything that’s about to happen.
“What is it?” I ask, already bracing myself.
Ryan steps closer, his face a mix of apology and grimace. “You might want to check the group chat.”
With a huff, I pull out my phone. Messages are flying in like bullets in a firefight, each one with my name and Holly’s. Frowning, I scroll to the top, my gut twisting with each word.
And there it is. The picture of Holly and me, laughing together. The caption’s speculation?
Ethan Carter spotted with new team event manager, Holly.
The Ice King’s chummy with the newbie?
I heard she’s recently single after her break-up with actor Jake Roland. She sure knows how to choose her men.
Every line on the chat reads like an accusation, dissecting me and Holly, her recent breakup with Jake, and the implications of her involvement with both of us. Accusing words scatter across the screen like ugly, invasive confetti.
“Damn it,” I mutter, clenching my jaw. My fist tightens around the phone. Holly had enough on her plate with that break-up, and now this? I punch the call button on her contact and it rings with no response.
“Ethan!” Lauren calls as she jogs up. “Ryan just told me. Have you talked to Holly yet?” She’s joined by Liam, who’s looking at me with raised brows, his hands shoved into his pockets.
“No answer. I’m calling her now.” Holly’s phone rings endlessly without her picking up the second time. The tension in my voice is obvious as I turn to Lauren. “ She’s supposed to be with Mia, right?”
Lauren nods, already scrolling through her phone to call her sister. As soon as Mia picks up, I grab the phone from her.
“Mia, where’s Holly?”
“She left for home. After your cousin came looking for you.”
“Jake?”
Blood drains from my face, as an image floods into my mind—Jake smirking as he sits with Holly, playing his twisted little mind games. If Jake’s gone to see her, nothing good can follow. Ignoring the stares from Lauren and Ryan, I drop Lauren’s phone and spin on my heel, making for the exit, leaving the half-decorated gala hall behind.
The driveway is dark as I pull in, the house standing silent and still against the twinkling lights of the surrounding neighborhood. Shadows shift near the corner, and then my cousin steps out, that same cocky grin in place, eyes gleaming like a snake in the shadows.
“So, this is the life you’ve made for yourself. Living with your little event manager , Ethan?”
I turn off the ignition and step out of the car. “What are you doing here, Jake?”
“Right now?” his mocking tone is honeyed with condescension. “Wondering how you mix business with pleasure?”
“Get out,” I growl, keeping my voice low but laced with warning.
Jake’s expression doesn’t change. “Oh, come on. You’re not tossing family out into the cold, are you?”
“Out.” The word is sharp, pointed, a growl barely contained.
“I heard Mandy came to see you,” Jake leans closer, unbothered. “She gave you that pity business loan talk?” A pause, gauging my reaction, then, “My sweet sister may have taken that little loan of yours for herself. Clever girl—one last grab before her vanishing act.”
The blow lands with a familiar bitterness, but I’m done—done being the Carters’ puppet. “Consider yourself warned. Show up again, and I’ll have you thrown out in handcuffs.”
Jake’s brows lift, feigning a slight pout. “Touchy, touchy,” he taunts, but my glare is enough to turn him around.
With Jake gone, I finally run through the front door. A tense silence hangs over the house, and my heart sinks. Holly’s standing in the middle of the living room, her face pale as she packs her belongings into a small suitcase.
“What are you doing?” I ask, voice sharper than intended.
She doesn’t look at me, just keeps folding her clothes with a measured calm that’s somehow worse than anger. “I need to leave, Ethan. The team already knows about us, and with the way they’re talking, it’s just going to get worse. I don’t want to drag you down.”
I take a step forward, swallowing the growing lump in my throat. “So, that’s it? You’re just leaving?”
She finally looks up, her eyes filled with something I can’t quite name—pain, resignation, something heavy and cold. “This is for the best, Ethan. We have different goals. You love this team, this life. I don’t fit into that. Not in the long run.”
Her words slam into me like a hit on the ice, and for a moment, I can’t breathe. “You think I care what people are saying? Holly, none of that matters. You matter.”
But she shakes her head, looking down as she zips her suitcase. “I can’t do this, Ethan. I thought I could, but I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?” I demand, voice louder, harsher than I want. The silence stretches between us, cold and unyielding.
She lets out a shaky breath. “I’m just facing reality, Ethan. We’re too different to be able to make this work long term.”
“We can make it work!” My voice is breaking, raw and unfiltered. “If you feel anything for me at all, don’t walk away like this.”
She shakes her head. “Sometimes feelings aren’t enough to bridge everything.”
Her hand falters on the suitcase handle, her eyes catching mine one last time, filled with a mixture of regret and something close to resolve. “I’m sorry, Ethan,” she whispers, voice barely audible.
And then, like a ghost, she’s gone. The door closes softly behind her, leaving me standing alone in the quiet, the sound of her absence ringing louder than anything.