14. Aurora
Chapter fourteen
Aurora
T hey say the morning after is always the hardest. But what about when there’s no alcohol to blame, just a sugar high and a moment of weakness? I wake up with the taste of cupcakes and Aiden on my lips, and I don’t know which is more detrimental to me.
I had sex with Aiden.
That phrase continues to bounce around in my brain, even as I try to make sense of it—of what happened. How the hell did I go from eating my cupcake to make sure he didn’t get any to having him two fingers deep in me? Who even does that? Me, apparently, but that still doesn’t explain why—or why I want it to happen again.
“You alright?”
“What?” I whirl around, startled to hear someone beside me. Mark is standing a few chairs away, hands up in a placating gesture.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, looking apologetic. “I called your name a couple of times, but you didn’t answer, so I wasn’t sure if you could hear me or not.”
“Oh, I…” I trail off, not sure what to say. I don’t want to admit that my mind is stuck on Aiden, so I can’t hear anything but my own thoughts. That probably wouldn’t go over well, and I definitely don’t need anything getting back to Jax when it comes to Aiden and me.
I don’t want anything getting back to anyone, really.
There hasn’t been any talk about not getting involved with the team romantically, but even I know it’s a bad idea. Not just for Aiden but for anyone. Too much of our work relies on being in good with one another and maintaining a pleasant work environment. Bad breakups do not make for pleasant work environments.
“I was just thinking about the best pictures to get.” When Mark nods in understanding, I breathe a silent sigh of relief. “What are you doing here?” I feel a little bad about not remembering exactly what Mark does, but it’s not like we talk all that often.
I can count on one hand the number of times we’ve really interacted, and the last time was supremely awkward, thanks to Aiden.
Fuck. Everything keeps coming back to him, no matter how hard I try to push all thoughts of him away. I have a job to do. The team is still trying to increase their crowd numbers, not just for away games but for home games too.
I don’t have time to be distracted by Aiden and his talented digits, no matter how many times my dreams conjure them up.
I need something else to keep my mind off him until things go back to normal.
Mark smiles. “Well, I wanted to apologize to you.”
“To me?” I ask in confusion. “What do you need to apologize to me for?”
He takes a few steps forward, stopping a couple of feet away. “I realized after you and Aiden walked away that I might have overstepped. I know you two are close, but I didn’t mean to—“
“We’re not,” I say, interrupting him. “Close, I mean. He’s my brother’s best friend, so he’s always been around, I guess. But we aren’t really friends like that.” I try to ignore how much it aches to say that. None of my words are untrue, and yet they ache all the same.
Mark’s eyes widen, and he glances out at the ice where the team is still practicing. When he looks back at me, his smile is a little wider. “Oh, well, that’s great to hear. I mean, not that I don’t want you two to be friends or anything. But I was worried I might have stepped on his turf the way he came up to you that day.”
I’m ready to grit my teeth at the thought of being anyone’s ‘turf.’ There’s something about the way he says that that makes me want to stomp my foot. “No.”
“Great. If you’re not involved with anyone, would you like to get dinner with me sometime?”
That’s unexpected and throws me off completely. I don’t know what I was expecting from Mark, but it certainly wasn’t for him to ask me out on a date. I look him up and down, trying to see past his similarities to my ex.
I know it’s not exactly fair to compare the two. Mark hasn’t done anything to me to warrant such a reaction, but it’s still unnerving.
“You can totally decline as well,” he adds quickly. “It won’t be weird or anything if you do. I know the workplace isn’t exactly the right place to find a date, but you’re really cute, and I’d regret it forever if I didn’t at least shoot my shot.”
I smile at his words and feel a small sliver of relief. He isn’t being pushy, which I appreciate, and he’s giving me an out—one that I know I should take. But something in me is pushing to give things a try if only to help push out the memory of Aiden’s taste on my lips. I thought I needed a distraction, and here Mark is, offering himself up as tribute. A part of me feels guilty for using him in a way, but when I agree to dinner, his smile makes me push that part down.
“Great,” he replies, clapping his hands together. “Anything you like in particular? I mean, this is Florida, so of course, we could find a good seafood place.”
I giggle. “Seafood is fine with me. I eat just about anything.”
“Perfect. Me too,” he says, taking his phone out of his pocket. “I think this is the part where we exchange numbers and set things up.”
I give him my number and punch his into my phone. When he steps back again, the silence is a little less awkward. “So, tomorrow night?”
Mark nods. “Tomorrow night. I’ll pick you up around six if that works for you?”
“That works perfectly,” I agree before glancing at the rink. “I better get back to these pictures before practice ends, and I don’t have much to choose from.”
“Right. I have a couple of the guys to see and make sure they aren’t overdoing it before the next match, but I’ll text you later tonight.”
Mark nods, and I watch him make his way to the exit. The smile on my face is genuine, and I feel relieved that I’m finally moving on. I don’t think this date will lead to anything major, but I know Katarina would be proud of me, and I feel like I’ve just taken a little bit more of my power back. The feeling lasts through the end of the workday until I’m back home, and Jax and Aiden decide to work on their interrogation techniques.
“So,” Jax starts as he looks up at me from where I just came through the door. “Simon told me he saw you talking to some guy today.”
I frown and pause at the refrigerator. “Who’s Simon?”
Jax turns on the couch to follow me. “Don’t worry about who Simon is,” he counters. “I want to know what guy he thinks he saw you with.”
I shrug. “I couldn’t tell you since I don’t know who Simon even is.” I pull a bottle of juice from the fridge and move to the cabinets. “But whoever Simon is, though, is a snitch. Do you seriously have people keeping tabs on me at work, Jax?
Do we really need to have another talk about boundaries?”
I clench my teeth, totally annoyed by his questioning, “Need I remind you all that I am an adult? Who I screw is none of your business.” Aiden immediately turns to look at me, and I feel my cheeks heat and swiftly turn to my glass. “Besides, you don’t see me getting all on your ass when you stay out all night with whoever.”
“That’s because—“
“She is right about that,” Aiden says, cutting off whatever Jax was about to say. I glance over my shoulder at him. “It would be a bit hypocritical to come down on her about who she’s with, don’t you think.”
“Shut up. Who the hell’s side are you on?”
I smile when Jax turns to protest, but my smile dies down when Aiden’s gaze meets mine. There’s something there that leaves me wondering why he doesn’t ask who I was with, but he doesn’t look happy.
“Fine,” Jax says with a huff as he turns back to me. “I’m not trying to tell you who you can hang out with. I’m just trying to look out for you. That’s all. I’m doing my big brother duty.”
I roll my eyes and turn away. “It’s fine. If you must know, a co-worker named Mark asked me out to dinner tomorrow night, and I said yes. That’s probably who your little spy network saw me talking to.”
“Oh,” Jax says. “The dude we roughed up at the arena. I have to hand it to him. The dude’s brave.” I turn around in surprise.
“Really?” I ask. “That’s it?”
“We already let him know where he stands if he fucks with you, so it should be all good. Besides, Mark is just one of our trainers. I officially met him for my shoulder earlier this week— he seems like a good guy after all.”
“Oh, okay. That’s good to know. So, you aren’t going to give me shit about going on a date with him?”
Jax laughs. “I didn’t say all that, but now I know the guy — he seems solid, so I’m cool with it. And if he gives you trouble, I know exactly where to find him. Besides, I’m glad you’re moving on… It’s about damn time.”
I can’t deny that. It’s not the first time Jax has mentioned me moving on from the nightmares of my ex.
“Plus, you probably need a nice, chill guy to ease you back into the dating scene. And Mark’s a good one to do that with. Everyone who’s ever mentioned him talked about what a nice guy he is. So that whole interaction in the arena was just a misunderstanding . You done good sis.”
I snort out thanks and sip my juice as I think about Jax’s words. He isn’t wrong that I probably need someone down-to-earth and low-key to ease me back into getting out there. Immediately, my gaze drifts to Aiden. He’s anything but low-key, and I shiver as I think about the intensity in his gaze that night. It’s the same as it was back then. It’s almost startling to realize that the way he looked at me hasn’t changed.
But Aiden isn’t the type of guy I need, according to Jax.
“Just be careful.”
My smile falls as I take in his words. I nod once sharply before making a strategic retreat to my room.
I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I look the same, but I feel different. Like I’ve crossed some invisible line, and there’s no going back.
It’s not just about Aiden or that moment in the kitchen. It’s more about me. When did I become this person who reaches for what she wants? And more importantly, do I like her?
Standing there in my silence, I trace the curves of my hips, remembering the feel of Aiden’s hands there. For so long, I’ve been defining myself by other people’s expectations, but last night, in that kitchen, I wasn’t anyone’s little sister or ex-fiancée.
I was just… Aurora .