48. Astrid
I’ve started going to Sean’s away games on weekends. Since we made things official, he insists that I come with him whenever I can. It’s so sweet. And the dedication he’s showing to me speaks volumes. I know that he’s trying hard to prove that this time is going to be different, and it makes me happy. I appreciate his effort.
I pack my bags for my first away game, nervous and excited all at once. It feels like a mini getaway, and the temptation to pack several outfits makes me laugh. It is a silly inclination. It’s for only one night. But to me, it’s more than that. This is like our first vacation in a way. And it feels…. special.
Sean, considerate and romantic as ever, booked me a room at the hotel where the players are staying. I guess it is pretty normal for players’ wives or girlfriends to travel with them when they can. I won’t be able to see him the night before the game. That was made very clear. But the night after the game, he’s all mine.
And I cannot wait.
The flight to Chicago is short, and I make it to the hotel with plenty of time to relax before the game. I take a shower, using every luxury bath and beauty product offered in this ridiculously large suite.
He really went all out.
At the game, sitting in the stands without Heather or Violet feels weird, but I don’t feel alone. The wives, girlfriends, and partners of other players are a lot more welcoming after Sean’s dramatic declaration at the holiday party. I send Heather a selfie, letting her know that I wish she was here. Sean skates by the glass where I’m seated and blows me a kiss.
There’s a newfound excitement in supporting Sean as his official girlfriend. The cheers of the crowd, the energy on the ice, the thrill of the game, it all takes on a new meaning now that I’m really, truly a part of this world. His world.
After the game, I wait to kiss him before taking off for the hotel. We have to travel back home tomorrow so Sean said that he wanted a night in tonight. A night in the room with me, room service and cuddles.
It makes everything feel more real between us.
I wait for him to get here, sitting on the bed with more excitement than is normal for this point in the relationship. Does the honeymoon phase ever end with him?
“Hi, baby,” he says, walking through the door a short while later, picking me up into his arms and swinging me around. He kisses me up and down my cheek until I’m laughing and pushing him away.
“Hi,” I say.
He nuzzles his nose into the crook of my neck. The intimacy of this moment feels like a dream come true. This side of Sean, the kind and gentle and excited version, is something special just for me.
“Come on,” I say, pulling away first. “I ordered room service, it’ll be here any minute. Let’s eat before we forget.”
“When I said I was hungry, I didn’t mean food.” Sean hoists me over his shoulder and carries me to the bed, dropping me on the mattress and then getting on top of me.
I kisses me deeply, hungrily. My fingers tangle in his hair as his tongue caresses mine.
But the knock on the door interrupts us.
“Ugh,” he groans. “Terrible timing.” He pushes back, reluctantly, and is quick to walk over to the door to let in the person bringing up our food.
I ordered us two burgers, truffle fries to share, and sparkling water, and since it’s a five-star hotel, the food looks even better than I thought it would.
My stomach grumbles, making Sean laugh.
“Alright, alright. We can eat and then continue what we started.”
We eat in silence, mostly because I’m hungrier than I realized. I practically swallow the cheeseburger in three bites.
“Do I make you happy?” he asks suddenly as I push my plate aside.
“Of course you do.”
“Like happy, happy?” he presses.
“Yes,” I laugh. “What does that mean?”
“I mean when you picture our life, in the future, what do you see? Do you see us together? Married? Kids?”
I consider him as we lay side by side on the bed in the dimly lit room. “Well I definitely picture us together.”
He cups my face in his hand. “You don’t have to answer the rest if you’re not ready yet.”
“I want to marry you, Sean,” I say, softly.
“So if I ask you, it won’t be moving too fast?”
“No,” I say quickly. My heart beating faster.
The weight of his words linger between us. Marriage. A future. Together.
It is the first time we have talked about the specifics for the future, making everything feel more real.
“I love you, Sean.”
“I love you too.”
I pull him in for a kiss. I’m only in control for a few seconds before he pulls me by the waist and presses me against his body.
“You are so fucking beautiful, do you know that?” he murmurs into my ear. “I can’t help myself.” His lips brush the inner part of my lobe, then his tongue flicks over the spot.
“Sean.” I shiver against him. It’s not just desire I feel. It’s also relief. And love. And safety. He does want me and this is going to work out.
I’m going to have my happy ending.
I can feel him already hard against my stomach.
I nip at his bottom lip. I planned on taking control and I’ve found myself lost against him once again. I consider telling him that I’m in charge tonight, but the words catch in my throat as he pushes my back down on the bed and gets on top of me, caging me beneath him.
I wiggle with excitement.
He grabs both my wrists and secures them in one of his hands. “Do you know how much I love you?” he asks.
“No,” I say, smiling.
He tightens his hold and I whimper.
“Try again.” He dips down to place a small kiss on my nose, then my lips.
“Yes.”
“Good girl.”
He keeps me pinned against the bed as he hikes up my shirt—his shirt—with his other hand. I’m not wearing any underwear, and he groans as he discovers me wet and waiting. “So perfect.” He thrusts two fingers inside of me without warning and palms my clit.
“Sean.” Every time is better than anything I’ve ever felt. My body welcomes the sudden intrusion. His fingers thrust inside of me while his thumb circles against me. The touch is slow, yet in control. He’s clearly prepared to take his time. There is no rush to get this over with.
It makes me squirm. I’m too excited to wait. I try to lift my head off the mattress and capture his lips in mine, but he holds me down too tightly to move.
I groan, growing increasingly desperate to have him.
“Sean, please.”
He smirks, increasing the speed of his fingers that circle me.
“Oh!”
Between his touch and the desire glowing in his eyes, I come more quickly than I thought possible, my body desperately clenching the fingers inside of me.
But we both know that it’s not enough.
“Oh baby, you came so easy for me.” He holds up his fingers and licks off the remaining evidence of me before shoving those same fingers in my mouth. “Such a greedy girl.”
He pushes back from me to kneel at my feet. The mattress dips around him as he moves.
Instinctively, I move to touch him.
“What did I say? Stay still.” He takes my wrists and holds them at my sides so that I can’t touch him again.
I groan. “I’m going to die if you’re not inside of me.”
He chuckles. Slowly, he runs his fingers up and down my legs. Then his hands grip my knees, pushing my legs apart as he hovers above me.
He stares into my eyes as he presses himself against my entrance, and then slowly, pushes himself inside.
“Sean,” I scream. My arms wrap around his neck and my nails dig into his back.
Every thrust enters deeper, harder. I wrap my legs around his waist, letting him in.
“You feel so good, baby,” he says. “You feel how wet you are for me?” He thrusts harder. “Your body knows it’s mine.”
There’s something so intimate about missionary with a person you love. Sean’s eyes don’t leave mine. Not once. It’s like claiming my body isn’t enough for him now, and he’s desperate to reach my soul.
I come, the look of admiration and ecstasy on his face too much for me to hold back any longer. He swallows my breath, taking in every piece of my pleasure. He kisses his way down my jaw to the base of my neck and over my collarbones.
“Astrid.” He moans as he rests his forehead against mine while he pushes himself into me one last time. “Oh, fuck. Astrid.” He stills. His chest heaving with effort as he holds onto me.
“God, you’re so fucking perfect.” He kisses me as he eases himself out of me. “I think you were made for me.”
“I think so too.” I move to roll out of bed and clean myself up, but he stops me.
“No, no. Don’t move. I can do that. Let me take care of you.”
I watch him walk to the bathroom and hear the sink running. A moment later Sean returns with a warm, damp towel and he cleans me up.
“You need anything else, baby?”
“Just you.” I hold out my arms, gesturing for him to get back in bed with me.
He obliges, pulling back the covers and draping us both beneath the blankets.
I nuzzle my head into his chest as I stare out blankly across the room. Everything about us feels right.
I snuggle into him more as he strokes my hair and touches my face while sometimes interchanging the soothing attention to my back.
“You’re sure that you don’t need anything?” he asks after a while.
“No, just this,” I say.
“You know what?”
“What”
“I think that was the best post-game ritual ever,” he says, nuzzling his nose into the crook of my neck.
The next morning, we wake up entwined in one another’s arms as the gentle glow of the rising sun casts across the room.
We leave, hand in hand, closer than ever.