Prologue
TOREN
Emotions are a turbulent son of a bitch.
Since I woke up with a throbbing headache and found that I was back in my prison—my own personal hell, I have been riding a wave of eccentric emotions, first was anger, then came pity and sadness. Now, I’m just left with outrage at the injustice of this whole situation.
I’m cold and alone, the temperature is a reminder that this is real, I feel it in my bones. The constant ache, the endless memories playing on repeat over and over again, driving me crazy and making me feel insane.
But, the one thing I do have a lot of is time.
I spend most of my days holed up in the room I am trapped in, never feeling the heat of the sun brushing against my skin for weeks at a time.
All pretenses of this place have been dropped, I’m not treated like the senator’s daughter, I’m just another patient here.
There is no need for the staff to disguise this place from what it truly is, I know the truth and I will no longer be blind to it.
My eyes are wide open, I see the world in black and gray now.
On bad days I find myself reaching for my pendant only to remember I no longer have it—I gave it to him.
It was always supposed to be his, but for a short time it was mine and it quickly became my anchor and grounded me in moments I needed it most.
The memory of Em and how she made me smile and feel seen has my chest constricting, Emery Devlin was my angel in the darkness, she was the rock I needed to survive this place the first time.
A part of me wishes I had never gotten my memories back.
If I hadn’t found out the truth, maybe I would still see her here and not feel so alone in this cold, cruel world.
All that I once had and had once been is long gone.
I’m no longer the girl who wakes up smiling and is excited to face the day ahead.
I’m just a girl with a grudge and a hunger for revenge now, wanting all those who wronged me to pay.
I want to watch their empires crumble beneath my feet.
I long to see the pain and misery in their eyes and relish the sight of it.
I may not be as smart or strong as them but I am cunning.
I’m a quick learner and I will never allow myself to be used or become a victim of someone else's war ever again.
I will rise like a fucking phoenix from the ashes and burn them all.
My face is the last thing they will see before I take everything from them.
I recall that night so vividly. I wanted to fight and was prepared to help Xaden even if it meant going against my own family but the second I watched him kill his own father, I knew I had to run. Caspian gave me a way out and I had planned to take it until Kellan ruined everything.
Well, I thought he did but turns out, I’m not the only one playing a game of cat and mouse.
Two months here but it feels like years.
I thought today would be like every other.
The routine is the same, the clothes are the same, even the people continue to do the same damn thing everyday.
It’s infuriating but also calming that nothing changes here, yet the world around us continues to keep spinning.
I make my way out of my room and head into the TV room, prepared to sit on the sofa and stare out the window all day long until I get bored of the view, then head back to my room to read over the documents I was given.
You truly think you know someone because you grew up with them, lived in the same house and spent all your time together, but you’re wrong.
You never truly know who someone is no matter how much you wish you did.
He keeps his gaze focused out the window but I know he can sense my presence because a whoosh of air rushes out of him the moment I’m a foot away.
I cross in front of him and mimic his pose.
I look out at the garden and hate the feeling of longing that hits me.
I look at it every day, envisioning how those soft rose petals would feel against the tips of my fingers, imagining how beautiful they would smell.
But we aren’t allowed in the garden as part of the rules of this fucking place.
“I’m scared to look at you,” Kellan mutters. There’s a twinge of hurt that laces his words, yet I feel no guilt.
“Fear is meant to be conquered, not ignored,” I retort.
“Seeing it means it's real,” he says dejectedly.
“It’s already real, whether you want to admit it or not,” I say with a bite to my tone.
“If you just came here to pass judgment then leave.” He finally turns his head and looks me in the eye.
He looks tired and utterly worn out. I’ve been stuck in here for two months with no contact with the outside world except for the two times prior to this visit when Kellan came to see me.
“It’s time for you to come back, Tor.” He sounds uncertain and the look in his eyes doesn’t settle the growing anxiety inside me.
“Why don’t you look happy about that?” I hedge.
He scrubs a hand through his hair. It’s longer now. I take a second to really look at him. Kellan has always prided himself on looking good and always looking put together, yet he stands before me, wearing rumpled clothes, looking like he hasn’t showered in days.
“Everything is worse. I thought I could keep you safe but I don’t think I can.” His admission has my breath hitching.
“I’m not your concern.” My tone is harsh and filled with malice.
Yes, I believed the story he told me that night and trusted him enough to agree to come back here, but that doesn’t mean I’m not still angry at him for the horrible things he did and said to me.
Words last a lifetime. You can heal a broken bone, you can’t heal a broken mind but there is no erasing them from your memory.
“I know what I have to do. I agreed to the terms and will keep my word. Will you keep yours?” The growl in my tone has his brows bunching and his eyes widening in surprise.
“I didn’t lie to you. I told you I would get you out of here when it was time. I had just hoped when that time came it would be safe for you to come home.”
“I don’t have a home, Kellan. You and the rest of them made sure of that.” He inhales sharply and nods.
“I’m sorry about—”
I hold my hand up, silencing his bullshit apology. “I don’t want to hear it. We have a history and that’s it. When this is finished, we won’t speak again. We will never share bonfires on the beach or hang out. Our friendship ended over a year ago.”
Pain shines in his eyes. “You’ve changed.”
“A lot has changed me.”
“Once we get back, I won’t be there, Tor. You will be on your own.”
“Fine by me.”
“He’ll come for you. He hasn’t stopped looking for you.”
A shiver works its way down my spine but I keep the fear from showing on my face. I may be terrified of what he is capable of, but I’m also thirsty for vengeance. My heart may be confused and torn in half over Xaden Devlin but my mind isn’t.
“Good. I want him to find me,” I sneer. What Kellan doesn’t know is that I already have a plan of my own formed. This war started over mine and Xaden’s fathers wanting to take over Hollow Hills. I plan to make a deal with the Denver Kings and beat Xaden and my father at their own game.