Chapter Twenty-Two
TOREN
When I was first here I was never shown this side.
I was on the top level where everything seems much calmer, brighter and liveable.
The second level is where I was sent when Kellan brought me here.
This is where the ones who need to be punished are sent.
This is the area my father uses to break the innocent children of men and women who refuse to bow to him and his demands.
I stop outside room twenty-one and gaze through the window.
Anger slams into me as I recall being locked in there for weeks.
I quit following Xaden and make my way in the opposite direction and head upstairs.
I need to see it. I have to. I need to know it was real, that not everything that happened in here was a figment of my mind playing tricks on me.
“Tor.” I hear my name being called by Carnage but don’t stop. I keep going up. I’m being driven by primal need now. I feel like I can’t pull in a breath, my panic is rising and I can’t stop it.
I reach the landing and push the door open. I don’t bother being quiet, there isn’t a need. Staff never monitor anyone here until they start work. Someone could die in the middle of the night and they wouldn’t know until the next morning. Welcome to Walter House, where all nightmares live.
Where I fucking lived for twelve damn months!
I make my way behind the lone desk in the center of the large TV room and grab the keys from the top drawer. I knew where they were kept as the staff never hid them because there was no point in trying to escape. No one makes it out of here unless he allows it.
A thought slams into me so hard I stumble back a step.
How the fuck did Meekan get Harper out of here without my father’s approval?
I slam my eyes closed when the truth hits me. Meekan works for my father. Xaden was right this whole fucking time. Meekan was using me to get intel, not to arrest Xaden but to give to my father so he could blackmail him.
I push those thoughts away and stalk down the dimly lit hallway.
I note there are no new locks on any of these doors.
This is the part where the good ones are housed.
I come to a halt outside of room thirteen and push the key into the lock and twist. I pull my phone out, turn the flashlight on, then step inside.
I look around for the occupant, only to find the room empty.
I dart forward and pull the rickety metal frame away from the wall, then drop to my knees as I scour the wall for the inscription we made.
When I don’t see it my throat begins to close and breathing becomes difficult as my panic starts to take control.
“What the fuck, Tink?” Xaden snaps as he rushes into the room at the same time I see it.
A sob tears out of me without consent at the sight of it.
I feel Xaden’s fury surrounding me like a wet blanket as he draws near.
I wait for him to haul me to my feet by my hair, but he just stands behind me, looming there like a shadow as I reach out and run my fingers over the inscription and smile.
Knowing it wasn’t all in my head and some of it was real, eases the growing panic inside me.
“She was with me,” I breathe out barely above a whisper as tears begin to roll down my cheeks.
“What the fuck is that?” His tone is filled with unfiltered outrage but it does nothing to deter me from feeling elated that even if I only saw her in my mind, that she was still here with me.
I look up at him and point to the writing carved into the concrete wall.
“I never lied to you. I told the truth. She may not have been real to anyone else but she was real to me.” I spy Cas, Harper, Halo and Omen in the doorway out of the corner of my eye but don’t look away from Xaden.
I need him to see the truth in my eyes. “Emery was here with me, Xaden.”
He sucks in a sharp breath at the sound of her name. His eyes darken and he grows tense as he stares at mine and his sister's names carved into the wall of my old room.
“She used to talk to her all the time. I thought the rumors were true for a while that she was crazy,” Harper adds tentatively and shoots me an apologetic smile.
“Turns out, she isn’t crazy. She just saw the ghost of her boyfriend's sister and because of that girl, she survived hell.” Xaden doesn’t bite her head off for referring to him as my boyfriend.
I climb to my feet and stand before him with walls placed around my heart to try and shield me from the hurt I know he will deliver.
He slowly tears his gaze off the wall and looks down at me.
The raw anguish I see in his eyes robs me of air.
I’ve never seen him display his pain so freely before.
He’s always closed off and never lets me see more than he intended to but right now, he is letting me see the pain my brother caused him.
Masen shattered his world and then continued to spit on the memories of those he loved most by going on with his life and acting like that night never happened.
Anger rolls through me at the injustice not only I was served but also for him.
When I reach out to touch him, he jerks back.
The pained expression vanishes and is replaced by the hatred I am so accustomed to seeing.
I bite the inside of my cheek to focus on something else rather than the crippling pain inside my chest.
“Caspian, release the prisoners and have the staff lined up on their knees downstairs, waiting for me.”
“On it, X,” Cas says, then grabs Harper and pulls her away to carry out Xaden’s orders.
“Close the fucking door,” Xaden barks. I look over at Halo and Omen, who both look like they are going to argue, but Xaden presses on. “Unless you want to watch her get on her knees and suck my cock, get the fuck out.”
My eyes widen and my jaw drops. I’m ashamed to admit that arousal flows through my body.
“Toren—”
I cut Halo off before he can finish. “Just close the door. I’m okay,” I say, trying to reassure them.
Omen looks disappointed but Halo just looks disgusted.
They can judge me all they want, but they have no fucking idea what I have been through, what I survived.
I know Xaden isn’t good but he is the only person who can offer me peace from my own mind and right now, I need that.
I push every thought from my mind, ignoring my subconscious screaming at me that he killed Kellan and hates me, but also wants me and all the other shit as I step forward and look up at my god of death.
“Fucking me won’t change anything,” I say and toss my phone onto the bed so the flashlight still offers us some light.
He opens his mouth to argue, but I silence him when I grip the knot on the front of my ruined shirt and let it fall open.
His eyes instantly drop to my tits. My nipples are hard and begging to be touched.
“I know what you’re doing,” I say as I shrug the shirt off and allow it to fall to the ground.
“What’s that, Tink?” he asks huskily as he steps forward, closing the space between us.
The air charges with sexual tension. I taste it on the tip of my tongue, feel it in my body like a current.
He reaches out grips the back of my head, tangling his fingers in my hair, then yanks my head back, making me hiss.
He ducks his head and bites down on the tender flesh of my neck, making me gasp loudly.
“You’re trying to replace the memory of her in this room with one of you.” He pulls back and stares down at me with a sinister smile on his beautiful face.
“Why would I do that?” he says in a smug tone.
I reach out and grip his waist, needing to feel him. “You want to ruin the good moments I spent in here with her ghost so I won’t have any good memories left, but it won’t work.”
“Hmmmm.” He hums as he begins to slide my pants down my legs, I don’t stop him, I can’t.
He’s my kryptonite and I am weak for him, especially when he’s like this.
This is the side of Xaden I crave, not the cruel monster.
I step out of my pants and allow him to drink in the sight of my naked flesh, I don’t miss how he skims over the small bump.
He reaches back, grips his shirt and tugs it off in the sexy way guys do, then tosses it to the side. I wait for him to put his gun down but he doesn’t, not even when he removes his pants and his hard length springs free and slaps against his abs. That sight alone has my mouth watering.
He stalks forward and uses his body to push me backward until my back is against the wall. I hiss at the feeling of the cold and arch my chest into him.
He lifts the gun and trails the barrel down my cheek, making me tremble in equal parts fear and arousal.
He glides the cool metal down my chest and over my nipple, making me pant.
He continues down my body but the instant he stops at my belly button and presses the barrel against my stomach, the haze of lust vanishes.
I stare up at him in terror, hating the joyful look on his face. “Why won’t it work?” he says in a calm tone.
I gulp and shake my head. “Xaden, don’t—” I snap my mouth closed when he presses the gun into me harder.
“Answer the fucking question, Tink,” he grits out through clenched teeth.
I swallow audibly and try to keep the fear from playing on my face.
“It won’t work because the memories I share with her live inside me, and no matter how hard you try, you can never take that away from me.
She will always be with me—” I snap my mouth closed when he trails the gun lower.
My eyes widen and my mouth pops open when he runs the barrel of the gun through my slick folds.
I need to get my fucking head checked!
The fear of him being able to pull that trigger whenever he wants has liquid pooling at my core and dripping down my thighs.
When he pushes the barrel against my opening, I gasp.
The bloodthirsty look in his eyes terrifies me but also…
excites the fuck out of me. When he pushes the gun inside my soaking pussy, I push up onto my tiptoes and cry out.