Chapter 12
Addison
My finger hovers over Carson’s contact in my phone. It’s been three days, and they’ve been really good about giving me the space I needed to think things through.
I know they’re waiting for my call. Waiting to talk to me, to see where we go from here, what we make of the change in our lives.
The thing is, I still don’t know how I feel, not completely. I feel like I’m on a never-ending roller coaster with all the changes in my life. It’s been one month since I moved back home. That, on its own, was a struggle to adjust to.
I moved away from a place I called home for six years to live with my witch of a mother, who tried to force a relationship with a pack of Alphas who didn’t actually want me, but the power and status that's attached to me.
I got a job streaming to make money so I can get out from under my mother’s thumb.
Then, I went to a party and met two Alphas who are actually my scent matches, went through my heat with me, begged them to mark me, and then let them.
Now I’m stuck in limbo about what to do next.
What about the three men I’ve had feelings for, for years?
Yes, I want Carson and Reid. They seem like amazing guys, and I really want to get to know them better. The last three days have been pure hell. I haven’t been able to sleep, and I’ve been craving their touch, their warmth, their smell.
When I researched more on scent matches, I found out that it’s not the best idea for newly scent-matched or bonded mates to be away from each other right away. That you should take the time to adjust together, or it can cause behavioral problems.
I’m more or less irritable and moody, like before my heat is supposed to start. I find myself wanting to cry whenever I think about them.
I’ve tried to distract myself with gaming and streaming, and it works while I’m doing those things, but once I turn off the computer and I’m alone with my thoughts, I’m lost again.
How can we make this work? I don’t even know where they live or who they are. I know nothing about them.
I guess I can’t really decide on anything until we sit down and talk.
The only thing I’ve been sure about these last three days is that I want to be with them, to get to know them, and make this work.
That's it.
It doesn’t resolve my dilemma with Death, Waffle, and Grim. And do I continue to live here? Or will I move to wherever the guys live?
Should I keep streaming, or will the guys not approve? Maybe they don’t want me to work, and instead want me to be a stay-at-home Omega and pop out babies?
I’m not against having kids, I love kids.
I’ve always wanted to find a loving pack and build a family.
I like streaming, though, and I’m too young for kids right now.
I’m just really starting to live my life, I don’t wanna settle down yet.
I want to travel and enjoy things before bringing another life into this world.
Hell, I can hardly take care of myself, I don’t want to be worrying about a little human, too.
“The only way to get some of these answers is to talk to your Alphas, Addison,” I grumble.
I finally make my fingers move and send Carson a text.
Me: Hey. Are you guys available to video chat?
I press send, and my stomach flips. My heart starts to pound against my rib cage, and my body breaks out into a sweat.
Carson: Fuck yes! Give us like five, okay? We’re just finishing up practice.
Practice? What are they practicing?
Me: Okay :)
Getting to my feet, I rush into my bathroom to check out how I look.
My makeup is on point, a cute mix of pink and black.
My hair is half up, half down, wavy curls with a high ponytail on top of my head.
I’m wearing a pink off-the-shoulder long-sleeve crop top with a pleated pink, black and grey skirt.
The only reason I’m even showered and dressed is because I plan to stream in a few hours. It’s been a struggle to even get out of bed lately because I miss them so much.
Heading back into my room, I hook my phone up to my computer so when we video chat, they get webcam quality versus the small camera on my phone.
When my phone starts to ring, and I see Carson’s name pop up on the screen, I want to puke.
“Okay. You can do this. Breathe in, breathe out.” I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths before pressing the answer button.
The video loads, and a few seconds later, I see Carson’s handsome face come into view. I have to bite my lip from whining at the sight of him. Fuck, I miss him more than I thought.
How can I feel so much for men I just met?
“There's my Little One.” Carson’s grin is so wide, it takes my breath away.
“Hi.” I can’t hold back the smile on my face.
“Let me see!” Reid growls, shoving his head next to Carson’s. My heart starts to race when he comes into view. Fuck. He’s just as gorgeous.
“Hey, sweet girl.” Reid’s smile is just as excited as Carson’s. “We miss you. How are you? Are you okay?”
A small laugh slips out. “I’m okay. Could be better.” I chew on my lower lip. “Missing you guys though.”
“Fuck baby, we miss you too.” Carson groans. “So damn much. When can we see you again?”
“I don’t know.” I laugh. “I guess it depends on how this conversation goes.” Squinting my eyes, I cock my head to the side. “Uh, are you guys really sweaty, or just getting out of the shower?”
“A bit of both.” Carson gives me a wicked grin. “I’m just getting out of the shower.” He moves the phone to give me a nice view of his half-naked body, only a towel tucked around his waist, hiding the impressive appendage I’m well acquainted with. My cheeks heat as my thighs clench together.
“Stop that,” Reid growls, snatching the phone.
Carson pops back in. “And this ugly fucker is covered in sweat. Stinks like a locker room, too.”
“That’s because we’re in a locker room, you dumbass.” Reid rolls his eyes.
“Still. You smell like ass, go shower.”
“I will after we talk to Addison,” Reid grumbles.
I’m smiling now, loving the banter between them.
“Ah, what kind of locker room?” I ask, remembering they said something about practice.
“Oh.” Reid looks to Carson, and Carson nods. “So, we should probably tell you what we do for work.”
“First,” Carson asks. “What do you think about hockey?”
“It’s okay.” I shrug. “I’m not like a major fan or anything, but I enjoy the game enough.”
Carson gasps. “Ouch, baby, you wound me.”
“Why?” I giggle. “You play hockey or something?”
I say it as a joke, but the two of them look at one another again, and my smile drops.
“Shit. You do, don’t you? You play hockey?”
“Yup. We play for the Scented Scorpions. KP league, baby.” Carson says it with pride.
My lips part in shock. No way. No fucking way. Are you telling me that the two Alphas I end up scent-matched to happen to be professional hockey players? Holy fuck.
I mean, we did meet at a sports-related gala, so it’s not completely surprising.
Still. Out of all the professions they could have had, I didn’t think for a moment it would be this.
“You okay, Little One?” Reid asks.
And then I burst out laughing. “This is crazy.” I giggle.
“What?” Carson frowns. “What's so funny?”
“The fact that you play in the KP.” I shake my head.
“Why is that so funny?” Reid asks, not sounding offended, just curious.
“I have a question for you. Have you heard of Elliot Clark?”
“Well, yeah, he’s the coach for the Royal Alphas,” Reid says.
“Good guy, but god his son is a fucking nightmare. I’ve never hated a man in all my life more than that cocky bastard.”
That has my smile fading and nerves drifting in. Shit. So, they hate my stepbrother? Are they going to be pissed when they find out who he is to me?
“What's wrong, sweetheart? Why do you look upset?” Reid asks.
“Not upset.” I lick my lips. “Just now this is awkward."
“Why?”
“Because Elliot Clark is my stepdad.” I laugh nervously.
“Oh shit.” Carson’s eyes widen.
“Wait, you're Addison Ashford?” Reid asks.
“That’s me.” I laugh awkwardly. “Surprise.” God, could I be any more cringy?
“Well, shit.” Reid chuckles. “The whole world thought you disappeared.”
I can’t help but roll my eyes. “I didn’t disappear. I moved away to go to school in Nashville. I wanted out of the spotlight and away from my mother.”
“Wait. You live here in Nashville?” His face lights up with excitement. “We live in Nashville.”
A wave of disappointment hits me. “No,” I say regretfully. “I actually moved back home to San Diego last month.”
“Move back.” Carson frowns.
“I can’t just move back.” I laugh. “I moved here for a reason.”
“And the reason was?”
And now things get awkward even more. “My mother cut me off, and I couldn’t afford to live there anymore. So she said I could come back to live here, but it came with a condition.”
“And that was?” Reid asks.
“I agreed to go out with the packs she’s picked for me.” I sigh heavily. “The pack of assholes you saw at the gala was the very pack she’s been forcing on me.”
“Fuck that pack,” Carson growls. “They can’t have you, you’re ours.”
His possessiveness has me giddy. “Down, boy.” I laugh. “You have nothing to worry about. I want nothing to do with them. And from the angry messages my mother left me before she went on her work trip, they no longer want anything to do with me either.”
“Good.” Reid grunts. “If we had to fight them for you, we would.”
“No need to fight anyone for me.” I smile. “I’m all yours.”
But am I? Yes, I’m theirs. But they’re not the only ones I have feelings for.
Now is not the time, Addie. Your friends online are exactly that, online.
You can’t have your cake and eat it too.
Do you think your Alphas are going to be okay with adding three more guys to your pack, three guys who you’ve never met?
Guys, you have no idea if they even feel the same way about you or not?
And you can’t just go on there and ask them, because that would be disrespectful towards your new Alphas. And what about Damien?