Chapter Thirteen #3
I snort at his protectiveness. “Calm down, killer. It’s not the end of the world.
He told me I’m the type of person who should be having kids because I have my life figured out.
It was nice. But then…” I sigh, remembering how sweet I thought the compliment had been.
“But then he asked how old I was, which was thirty at the time, and he told me I was fooling myself if I thought I had plenty of time to decide if I was having kids.”
If it’s possible, Jesse’s spine straightens even more than it already was and an infuriated look pinches his brows and darkens his face. This man is everybody’s wet dream. “What was his name, Belle?”
I roll my eyes. What is he going to do? Storm to his office at ten o’clock at night. It doesn’t matter. “It was four years ago. It’s fine.”
“It’s obviously not if you’re thinking about,” he says pointedly. “Was his name John?”
Oh my God. “No, it’s not. I’m not telling you his name because it doesn’t matter.
I only brought up that situation because it was the first one that came to mind.
My point is that women have so much pressure on us to reproduce within a certain timeframe.
And that’s even harder if you don’t have a boyfriend. ”
That crossed look on his face gets worse at the mention of a man in my life, but I pretend not to notice. “If you were the type to have a kid just to have one, you would have done it by now. You can’t rush into that, and you know it.”
I nod easily. “I know. I told my mom that too when she brought up dating. It’s just hard to process that this is where I am in life.”
He watches me, looking at one eye then the other. His gaze slides down to my nose, then my mouth, and stays there for a hot minute. I don’t know what he’s thinking about, but it’s definitely something when I see that vein in his forehead pulse.
It was a mistake bringing this up. Now he’s tense when he was finally relaxed at dinner. I rub my tired eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m thinking out loud, that’s all. It’s not a big deal.”
His palm cups my cheek, brushing the pad of his thumb along my jaw and barely grazing the edge of my bottom lip.
“If you’re upset by it, it is a big deal.
I may not be a woman and understand the level of pressure that’s on you, but I do get the desire to have something you’re not sure you’ll get on a specific timeline.
You know better than anybody that my career has taken up a lot of time.
I don’t know how my teammates with families do it.
I really don’t. It’s hard on partners when their significant other is always travelling and there’s less help with the kids.
When I become a dad, I’m going to be there for them whenever possible.
I’ll witness every step, first word, and first haircut. ”
When he becomes a dad.
He’s that certain.
A burning sensation settles in my chest and the backs of my eyes. I don’t want to think about him with other women, especially having babies with them. The burning gets worse, and it takes everything in me not to rub my chest or swallow down the pity tears.
Jesse’s brows furrow more. “What’s wrong?”
I wet my lips. “Nothing.” My voice is hoarse and unbelievable. “Nothing. I’m tired. I should go upstairs and—”
“You’re lying,” he accuses. “Something is bothering you and I want to know what it is.”
Is he doing this? Of course he is. I can tell by his expression—the same stubborn one I see on the ice—that he’s not going to let this go until he gets what he wants. “Picturing you having babies with someone else is just…a lot. It’s strange. And it’s dumb that I think it’s strange.”
Something flickers on his face before his frown twitches and his lips waver into a…smile. He’s smiling? If I look hard enough, I can see a bit of cockiness in his eyes too. What the hell?
“You don’t have to worry about that,” he says softly, his thumb resting on my bottom lip and tweaking it. My heart picks up when the heat from his finger soaks into me, and I try not to swallow or react.
I take a deep breath. “And why don’t I have to worry about that?” I ask, his thumb not leaving my mouth as the words are verbalized.
He presses against it, all but holding it between his fingers to stop me from talking as he leans in to close the distance between us. I suck in a sharp breath before I can stop myself.
“Because,” he whispers so close his mouth almost touches mine, “there’s only one person I’d consider that kind of life with.”
That’s all he says before he presses his lips against the corner of my mouth and pulls away, effectively stopping my heart. I’m dead.
Here lies Belle Thayer. Devoted daughter, friend, and smut reader. I’ll have to make sure somebody I trust deletes my kindle library after I’m gone.
“I’ll let you get to work,” he says with a sly grin, backing toward the stairs like he knows good and well I won’t be able to concentrate after that.
I look down at Dobby when it’s just us. “I am in deep trouble.” Dobby meows and rubs his body against my shins. “Don’t worry, you’ll always be my first born.”