Chapter Seven #3
“If I’m such a curse, banish me from your realm,” I snapped at him, close to my breaking point. My battered heart couldn’t take much more of his constant back and forth. “Throwing me out would solve all your problems. So just toss me to the mercenaries and be done with it.”
“If only.” His gaze bore into me. The rubies burned bright now, as though caught in a blazing inferno. “The bond of fate draws me to you, yet I want nothing to do with it. I would send you away if I could.”
Something heavy pressed down on my chest. Although the fated mate connection had drawn each of my men and I together, real feelings had developed on top of it. We loved each other with our entire hearts and souls.
But Onyx was different. To him, the bond between us was an unwanted affliction. Like a toxic drug injected into his veins, one he fought against with every breath.
A decision was then made. A painful one that brought me to the brink of tears, but I held them at bay. I once again closed the gap between us, placing myself directly in front of him. Not giving him an inch to weasel away from me.
He kept his gaze lowered to the floor.
“Onyx.” I touched his bicep, urging him to look at me.
As our eyes met, I saw the internal battle waging inside him.
Proof that I was right. He didn’t want this—didn’t want me.
“I won’t pretend to fully understand why you’re so against the idea of being with me.
But I’m not so shameless to keep chasing after someone who doesn’t want me. ”
“What are you saying?” he asked, the fire in his red irises simmering low.
“Tell me to stay away from you, and I will.” I held back tears as the words sliced at my heartstrings. “No more missions to storm your lair or hunt you down when you try to avoid me. I’ll keep my distance. I promise.”
Onyx’s brow creased and his lips parted. No sound left those lips though. Instead, he slid his hand to my jaw and held my gaze in silence, his smoky scent enveloping me once again.
And then he kissed me.
Shock flared in my chest, followed by the sharp sting of tears in my eyes. He tasted like cedar mingled with red wine, and as he deepened the kiss, traces of woodsmoke engulfed me. I hooked my wrists behind his neck and returned the kiss, my shock bleeding into a state of confusion.
Was the fated bond driving his actions… or was it him? A part of him he’d tried to deny but couldn’t any longer.
“Onyx?” I murmured against his lips. “I don’t understand what you’re—”
His mouth crashed to mine again with a sort of raw desperation that left me powerless against him. Powerless to do anything but surrender to the emotions churning in my heart, painful and messy ones that would be devastating in his wake.
A rough sound left him as he cupped the back of my head with one hand, tangling his fingers in my hair, and held my waist with the other. He nipped at my bottom lip and growled low, pinning me against the counter with more force.
With each glide of his mouth and swirl of his tongue, my soul purred, desperate to cling to him for as long as he let me. Which wasn’t long.
Onyx tore from my mouth with a frustrated growl. His eyes had a wild look in them.
“O-Onyx?” I slumped against the counter, off-balance now that he was no longer pressed against me.
Nostrils flaring, he pinned me with a look that had my insides turning to liquid fire. It was an expression that said he either wanted to tear me apart or fuck me hard. He then spun on his heels and strode toward the archway leading from the kitchen.
“Wait,” I called after him, my voice shaking from both the aftereffects of the kiss and the confusion of why that kiss happened in the first place. “You can’t just do that and leave. Tell me what’s going on.”
Onyx paused in step. “I… I wish it were different, little bird. I truly do.”
He left the kitchen without another word.
As I stared after him, watching the shadows from the corridor engulf his body and take him from my sight, I imagined the carrot being yanked away one final time, leaving the rabbit frustrated and hungry. Confused too.
What the hell just happened?
Woof.
Oreo had been curled up beside the table as Onyx and I’d talked but now padded over to investigate. Probably to cheer me up too since, like Lake, he could sense my emotions.
“Who needs carrots anyway?” I squatted down and scratched his fluffy ears. “Not when you have so many other yummy vegetables in the garden.”
The puppy cocked his head, one ear flopping.
“Yeah, you’re right.” I sighed and rose back up, looking toward the bowl of rice porridge Onyx had made for me. “There’s something special about that carrot. As frustrating and temperamental as he may be.”
Not wanting to let the food go to waste, I stepped over and ate a spoonful. My eyes watered. It tasted really good. Comforting too, like the one who’d made it put warmth and love into every sprinkle of seasoning and stir of the rice.
Onyx could be so cold and detached, but the care he had shown that night by preparing a meal with his own two hands proved that a gentle soul lied behind his icy barrier. Maybe, like the rice, he just needed some time to simmer in a pot, letting his hard edges gradually soften.