Chapter Eight #4
“Why not?” As his scent wrapped around me, the place in my heart that belonged to him stirred once more. “You say you don’t want to be with me, then stop me when I try to leave. Over and over again. What the hell do you want from me, Onyx?”
“I…” His warmth breath feathered over my skin, eliciting goose bumps down my arms and legs. “I don’t know.”
The blood turned hot in my veins. I wasn’t sure whether that heat came from the sparks of our bond… or the frustration at being pulled back and forth for the millionth time. It was just like that carrot dangling in front of the rabbit’s face. The moment I reached for it, it’d be yanked away again.
“Then let go of me,” I said, the words scraping past the tightness in my throat. “Because I’m not doing this with you anymore. I can’t.”
My heart could only handle so many punches. One more hard hit might snap the strings holding it in place.
“How I wish I could let go of you, little bird,” Onyx rasped, his voice grating with both frustration and something akin to grief.
As he pressed his forehead to the back of my hair, his arms tightened around my waist. “Yet, every time I try to push you away, something inside of me cries out. Reaching for you.”
I stared through the leafy branches of the willow, unsure what to do or say. Shoving him off me and storming from the enclosure was one idea, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Just like, it seemed, he couldn’t let go of me either.
“Tell me to leave and I will,” I said, feeling a sharp twinge in my chest. Like he was poking at an exposed nerve. I turned in his arms to face him. “Or tell me to stay. But you can’t have both. Either you want me or you don’t.”
“I don’t.” He peered down at me with emotionless crimson eyes.
An ache burrowed into my heart. His answer wasn’t a surprise, but it still hurt like hell.
“You’re like a stubborn mule.” My eyes burned with unshed tears. “Refusing to budge an inch. Either because you’re afraid of commitment or being vulnerable, who knows. But I’m not a toy you can just play with when you want to and then toss aside, Onyx. It’s not fair.”
He stared at me. Said nothing.
Taking that as my cue to get the hell out of there before I started crying, I turned from him, my throat stinging and my heart wounded. The walls Onyx hid behind were too strong. Impenetrable. I’d never reach him in his lonely tower.
Or so I thought.
So quick that I wasn’t even able to take a full step, Onyx snatched hold of my wrist and spun me back to him, kissing me hard.
Tears burned in my eyes as his mouth crashed to mine, my shock bleeding into a sorrow so intense it had me quaking. The sadness came from not knowing what this meant. He had done the same last night in the kitchen before tearing away and leaving me there confused and hurt.
“Onyx,” I panted against his lips. “What are—”
He cut me off with another kiss, holding my body flush to his with one hand and lifting the other to curl his fingers in my hair. His unique scent infiltrated my senses, causing warmth to flood my system. As he brought me closer, that warmth skyrocketed, turning to liquid fire in my veins.
Not sure what I felt more intensely right then: the desire for him to tear off my clothes and bang me right there beneath the willow tree… or the dread at knowing it wouldn’t last. That he’d eventually shut me out like he always did.
But instead of pushing me away, Onyx backed me up against the tree and kissed me so hard and deep my head spun.
His smoky scent. His taste. The brush of his long hair. All of it consumed me.
A tingle passed over my body before the sounds around me faded.
There was no more rustle of leaves dancing in the spring breeze or the chitters coming from Pumpkin as he moved through the overhead branches.
The scent of flowers and earth had been replaced by something deeply masculine and rich: a woodsy spice mixed with a subtle sweetness.
I was also no longer standing. A soft cushion was now at my back. I tore from Onyx’s mouth and found us in his quarters inside the castle. Lying together on his bed. He had used his shadow magic to teleport.
“We’re in your room?” I asked breathlessly. “Why?”
“Because you were right. I’m insufferable and frustrating.” Onyx hovered over me, his long hair falling forward as he lowered his lips to my earlobe, speaking softly. “But I’m also selfish.”
“Selfish how?” I asked.
“Danger lurks beyond the barrier of my realm,” he said with a touch of gruffness in his silky tone. “Mercenaries who wish to capture you. A kingdom that sees you as a traitorous assassin who killed the king. However, the one you should fear the most is right here holding you in his arms.”
“I’m not afraid of you, Onyx.” I lifted a hand to his face and traced the edge of his crimson eyes.
“Then you truly are a foolish little bird.” He placed his hand over mine and stared down at me with an intensity I felt from the top of my head to my toes. “You should have flown away while you still could.”
And then his lips crashed against mine again.
I surrendered to the kiss. To him. Knowing my heart would never be the same if he turned me away again.