Chapter Fifteen
Bonds of Fate
“This isn’t you.”
I startled awake. Candles flickered throughout the dimly lit room, and a fire burned low in the hearth. The sky beyond the set of windows was dark.
Was it night already? Last thing I remembered was leaving the clinic with my men earlier that morning and being brought to our room. I had been like a leech and clung to each of them, needing the closeness. Guess I had fallen asleep and slept the whole day away.
A weight pressed against my legs, one that shifted and expelled a sad breath. Lake was in his favorite spot, asleep by the sound of it. But restless in that sleep.
“He hasn’t spoken a word since he woke from the elixir,” Briar told someone outside the door. “Phantasia says whatever he witnessed was too traumatic for his mind to handle.”
Traumatic? That was one word for it. Since the morning I woke up in Bremloc, I’ve had a few close encounters with death, but every bad thing that had happened to me paled in comparison to the sight of that final vision. Lake. Rowan. Briar. And my cinnamon roll of a knight.
All dead.
My chin wobbled, and I hid my face into my pillow. The sting in my heart felt like a thousand wasps had been set free inside my chest.
Briar said something else, his voice too low for me to make out the words, before the door creaked open wider. Light steps neared the bed, but I didn’t have the energy to look. I’d never felt so numb before. Or so cold.
The bed dipped as someone sat beside me. Slender fingers brushed aside my bangs, then trailed down my cheek. Woodsmoke drifted to my nose, faint yet comforting all the same.
“I know you’re awake, little bird,” Onyx softly said, tracing the line of my jaw. “Although it may be difficult, I need you to open your eyes.”
I kept them closed, worried I’d start crying the moment I opened them.
“Lake tried to encourage him to eat something earlier, but he wouldn’t,” Briar said, his voice closer now. More fragile as well, like he was close to breaking down. “Fane brought him coffee, which he also refused. I don’t know what to do, Onyx.”
Fane had brought coffee? I didn’t remember. Had no memory of Lake trying to get me to eat either. The elixir had really done a number on me.
“What of his powers?” Onyx asked, playing with a strand of my hair. “Do they remain blocked?”
“No,” Briar answered. “The barrier in his mind has been lifted, so the elixir was successful. However, when Phantasia examined him earlier, she said she sensed a deep anguish in his heart.” His voice shook. “One he may not recover from anytime soon.”
“I see.” Onyx slid his hand to my nape, then trailed a finger over to the cuff of my shoulder. “The elixir forced him to face his worst fear. That would take a toll on anyone’s mind. I only wonder what he saw that troubled him so profoundly.”
“If I were to guess?” Briar sighed. “Him losing one of us. Either us dying trying to protect him from those seeking his power… or from Evan causing our deaths himself because of his power.”
There was a brief silence, filled only by the faint crackle of the logs in the hearth.
“He worries he’ll become like Saint Vera,” Onyx said, his voice thick. His hand trembled as he slid it over my skin. “Such a silly little bird. You could never be like her. How many times must I say it?”
My eyelids fluttered open, bringing the demon lord into view. He affectionately stared down at me. Concern mingled with the warmth of that stare though, visible in the slight tightening around his ruby eyes.
Briar stood beside him, wearing a similar expression. “Good evening, love.”
I tried to say something, but no words came out. A grating rasp sounded instead. My throat was too dry.
“Here.” Onyx grabbed a cup of water off the bedside table and held it to my lips. I took a small drink, then a bigger one. Never had water tasted better. “Good boy. Drink as much as you need to.”
“Evan?” Lake shifted on my lap and sat up, peering at me with tired eyes. He perked up when seeing the cup in Onyx’s hand. “You should eat something as well.”
My stomach growled, like a ravenous bear coming out of hibernation and ready to devour everything in sight. I was suddenly so hungry that I could’ve sworn I smelled food nearby.
“I hoped your appetite would return by this evening,” Onyx said before standing from the bed and nearing the small table near the hearth. He returned with a steaming bowl filled with something that made my stomach growl more viciously. “I made rice porridge. You seemed to enjoy it the other night.”
The gesture touched me just as much as it had when he’d cooked it for me last time. Only a few days had passed since then, but there was a notable difference in him. In both of us. A bond that had solidified.
Onyx gathered a spoonful and pressed it to my lips. I accepted the bite, my eyes watering as I ate. The porridge was easy on my stomach and tasted delicious. Warm and comforting. Just like the demon who made it for me.
“Will you take one more bite?” he gently asked.
I nodded, still not trusting my voice enough to speak. Before too long, I’d eaten the entire bowl. He had fed me every bite too, ever patient and showing more care than he gave himself credit for.
Briar lifted his glasses and wiped at his eyes.
“Sorry,” I rasped, my voice scratchy and dry from not having been used in so long. “Didn’t mean to worry you.”
“No need to apologize, love.” Briar stepped closer and sat on the bed beside Onyx, placing his hand on my knee. “I’m just relieved to hear your voice.”
Lake crawled up higher on the bed and settled beside me, tucking me against his chest. I turned my face against him, letting his peach scent calm some of the hard pangs in my heart.
“If only I had Mister Hop with me,” he said in his gruff tone, petting my hair. “I know how much you love him.”
I smiled at the mention of the stuffed animal. It was one he’d had as a boy and had given to me shortly after leaving his home deep in the woods and moving in with us at the cottage.
“I have you,” I told him, breathing him in. “Much better than Mister Hop.”
I felt him smile.
Steps neared the room, along with the patter of paws against the floor. The thud of those paws grew in frequency until a mass of black fur leapt onto the bed and scurried toward me. I smiled as Oreo showered me with slobbery kisses, his fluffy tail wagging up a storm.
“About time you woke from your slumber, Sleeping Beauty,” Rowan said as he neared the bed.
“Can’t believe I slept all day.” I glanced toward the window and the night sky beyond it.
“And you’re never allowed to do so again,” Maddox said, his tone hard and sporting an expression that matched. Behavior that told me just how worried he’d been. He glanced at the empty bowl. “I see you’ve at least eaten something. I suppose I’ll no longer need to force food down your throat.”
“You could always stick something else down my throat,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.
Rowan choked.
Maddox, however, wasn’t amused. “I was worried about you, sweetheart. I… I’ve never seen you that way before.”
“Come here, big guy.” I held out my hand to him, and he stepped forward, taking it in his. “I’m sorry for worrying you. But I’m okay now. I promise.”
Strange enough, I didn’t feel like it was a lie.
Phantasia was right when she said I wouldn’t be the same afterward.
I felt changed somehow. Still nervous about my powers…
but also fueled by a new resolve. I had seen my worse fear: a version of myself where I’d let the darkness consume me.
The shock of it had seemed to rewire my brain. A reboot to my whole system.
Fighting my powers was impossible. I knew that now. They were part of me and always would be. But what I did with those powers was up to me. My choice.
And I chose to save people, not hurt them. Not even people like Cedric who more than deserved it. Because the instant I used my powers in that way, there’d be no going back. The vision had made that point all too apparent.
“May I ask what you saw, love?” Briar asked, adjusting his glasses. “When you were under the influence of the elixir.”
“Three visions appeared to me, each one worse than the one before it,” I said, focusing on the warmth of Maddox’s hand in mine. Callouses covered his fingertips and palm, but I liked the roughness. “Two of them were memories.”
“Memories?” Onyx asked.
“Of my parents.” My breathing shifted, becoming more shallow. “I saw them, Onyx. My dad and mom. I saw their cottage and how in love they were. My dad even mentioned you.”
“He did?” A pang hit his eyes.
I nodded. “My mom asked him if you’d offer them shelter here in the Shadow Realm. But my dad didn’t want to bring this kind of conflict to you. He said you’ve faced your fair share of war and deserved peace.”
“That sounds like him,” Onyx said, glancing toward the window. “You take after him, little bird. Caring more for others than you do for yourself. He should have come to me. I would’ve…” He expelled a breath. “I suppose it no longer matters.”
“I saw a lot more too.” A pressure built in my chest.
Then, I told them everything.
About what my dad said about the Hallowed Saint’s power and a possible reason for why King Silas wanted me so badly: to help him take over another realm.
When I got to the part about Nocturne breaching the barrier of the cottage that stormy night, my voice grew quieter, the pain of it still fresh in my heart.
“King Eidolon betrayed your father to save Prince Sawyer?” Maddox asked, surprise flickering over his brooding features.
“It makes sense.” Briar rubbed at his jaw. “The circumstances around Prince Sawyer’s birth have always been clouded with mystery. The queen was apparently bedridden for many months of her pregnancy, and many in the kingdom weren’t aware she was with child.”
“The prince was sickly as a young boy, yes?” Onyx asked, a frown creasing his brow. “I recall my scouts reporting how the king requested the aid of every healer within the capital, offering their weight in gold to whoever could save him.”