Chapter Seventeen
Crouching Muffin, Hidden Doom Flag
“War makes monsters of us all.” Onyx retrieved his goblet of wine and stood behind his armchair, resting one hand on the back of it. “Even those who never had the stomach for violence become something unrecognizable when facing down an enemy army. Kill or be killed.”
A somber expression crossed Maddox’s face as he regarded the demon lord. Listened to words I suspected he understood all too well.
“But to truly understand a monster, you must know what made them that way,” Onyx continued.
“In my youth, I had little desire for anything that didn’t involve magic or books.
Drove my father mad. He wanted me to be a warrior, to take after himself as he took after his father, and ordered Koga to begin sparring lessons with me.
Lessons I skipped. I’d run off somewhere to read, work on my magical studies, or draw instead.
I had a passion for life and didn’t wish to take it from anyone else. ”
I smiled at that, remembering Koga telling me a similar story.
“Then my mother was killed.” Onyx’s expression hardened as he glanced toward the crackling fire.
“The day I saw my father fall to his knees on the castle steps, guttural screams leaving his throat as he felt her soul leave this world, I felt a burning rage well up inside me, one that couldn’t be doused by burying my nose in books. ”
“Thus began the human and demon war,” Maddox said, still with that somber air about him.
Onyx nodded. “I trained with Koga every day, letting my rage be my driving force. Having both the blood of a demon and dragon made me stronger. Made me more ferocious as well. Once my father felt I was ready, I joined him in battle. I became… well, you know the stories and the reputation I gained. How I was merciless on the battlefield, cutting down every enemy in my line of sight.”
“Is it true that you led an army to the fishing village south of the capital and killed innocents?” Briar asked, one hand resting at the side of his mouth as he intently listened.
“Yes,” Onyx answered, expression darkening. “The village supplied provisions for the human army. Eliminating them was a strategic maneuver to gain the advantage in the war. A successful one.”
My gut twisted. “You couldn’t have just destroyed the ships and supplies or whatever? You had to kill the people too?”
Sullen crimson eyes met mine. “Do you still think me sweet, little bird? Seems you were a bad judge of character after all. I killed all those humans and felt nothing. Their deaths were merely a means to an end.”
A lump wedged in my throat. “That was in the past. You’re not that same person now.”
“Whether I am or not is irrelevant.” He dropped his gaze to his wine. “My brutality during the war awoke the very power that eventually brought ruin to this realm.”
“Saint Vera?” Briar came to sit beside me on the couch, resting his hand on my thigh.
Onyx exhaled and returned a hand to his chest, tracing the outline of the mark from where it peeked from the top of his robes. “I killed her betrothed. He was a fisherman in the very village my army set fire to.”
A prickle of anxiety zapped through my belly. So did a smidgeon of shock.
“The grief over her lover awoke her powers,” Briar said, mirroring my thoughts.
“Her grief… but also her rage.” Onyx looked at me. “Much like your anger in the throne room awoke the same power in you.”
I felt sick. A type of sickness that clawed inside my stomach and slashed at my lungs, making it hard to breathe.
“What happened after that?” I asked, dreading the answer but needing it to. “How long did it take her to control her powers?”
“Within a week of my attack on the village, word reached our realm of a human woman with blue flames in her fingertips,” Onyx answered. “Vera’s anger and grief consumed her, and her powers reflected that instability. She struck down hordes of my warriors with a simple flick of her wrist.”
“That’s when Lord Malachi used dark miasma to taint the minds of the human army, yes?
” Briar asked, pushing his glasses up his nose from where they’d slid down.
“It turned the soldiers against each other in their maddened, confused state. Made them kill each other and drove some to take their own lives.”
“Yes,” Onyx confirmed. “My father in all his years had never seen anyone as powerful as Vera and feared the war would be lost, forcing him to resort to extreme measures and use the greatest weapon at our disposal. One he’d refused to use up to that point, believing it to be too dishonorable.
But Vera dispelled the dark miasma and shattered the barrier around this realm before leading the humans to victory. ”
“What happened after the battle?” Lake asked, his wolf ears drooping.
“After she defeated my father and King Paris took his head, parading it around on the tip of his sword as cheers rang out among his soldiers?” The bitterness in Onyx’s tone was laced with an underlying grief. “The demon army surrendered. There’s nothing else we could do.”
Unable to stand it a moment longer, I stood from the couch and walked over to him at the balcony doors. I sensed my men tense from behind me but none tried to stop me.
Much to my surprise—and relief—Onyx didn’t push me away. Instead, his arms circled my waist, and he rested his head on mine, breathing deep. As his woodsmoke scent tickled my nose, my sternum squeezed.
“Why did they allow you to live?” Maddox asked, still with that grave look in his eyes. Was he thinking of his own battles? It made me want to wrap my arms around him too and never let go. And to bake him all the muffins he could eat.
“King Paris wanted to take my head just as he did my father’s.
Yet, Vera said dying in battle was too great an honor for me.
That I deserved to suffer and live with my suffering.
” Onyx touched the center of his chest, the middle of his brow wrinkling.
“Her deep-seated rage and vengeful heart took the form of a curse, one she imbedded in my very soul.”
My gaze fell to the tattoo-like mark. He had told me once that the mark was a sign of his shame. I lifted a hand and touched it too. Like before, it seemed to pulse beneath my fingertips.
“Vera used my dragon blood as a foundation for the curse,” Onyx continued, his voice thickening with emotion. “Twisting it into something vile and dark. This mark was seared into my chest, so that one day, I would understand her pain.”
Unease prickled at my scalp. “I’m not sure I understand.”
Sadness touched his crimson eyes. “You wished to know the reason why I rejected our bond so fiercely? Why I’m so sure we’ll never be truly happy? Because accepting you as my mate wholeheartedly… allowing myself to love you… will only end in tragedy. For both of us.”
“You said she gave you the mark so you’d know her pain.” I returned my gaze to the mark. “What does that mean exactly? What will happen if you do fall in love?”
“The moment I allow love into my heart, the curse will awaken within me. And a beast will emerge.” He softly caressed my neck with the tip of his finger, trailing it along my skin. “A beast that will consume me, body and mind, until the one I love is dead at my feet.”
His words slammed into me like a ton of bricks. I sucked in a breath, overtaken by a bone-deep chill, like someone had just poured ice-cold water down my back. I had to be misunderstanding him.
“She cursed you to kill the one you love?” Maddox asked, his mind on the same track as mine. One I had hoped like hell wasn’t true.
“Yes.” Onyx watched me, the sadness in his eyes mingling with a glint of pain. “Killed by my own hand. So that I would know the pain of losing someone precious, just as she lost her betrothed the day I gave the order to attack the village.”
Onyx had tried warning me about this. Countless times. He’d told me we would crash and burn—that he would rip me apart one day. I just hadn’t realized he meant that literally.
The red mark had been a curse this entire time, one that would force him to kill me the moment he lowered the walls around his heart and let love inside.
“Wait a moment,” Briar interjected in a tone I rarely heard him use. Shock with a healthy dose of revulsion and anger mixed in. He shoved up from the couch, fists clenching at his sides. “You knew of this curse and allowed yourself to be intimate with Evan anyway? Have you no decency?”
“No, actually. I’m quite selfish.” Onyx glided his finger over my lips, his ruby eyes brittle at the edges. “I knew the risks and gave only half-hearted attempts to push him away. Because the sun felt too good on my skin.”
The backs of my eyes burned. “And you’re sure the curse is real and not just a cool tattoo?”
“It’s real, little bird,” he said, slowly pushing his hand through my hair. The soft touches seemed so… sad. Like he was saying goodbye. “The more time I spend with you, the more I feel it stirring within me. Moving beneath my skin.”
“Curses can always be broken, right?” I reached for his hand and held it against my heart, tears blurring my vision. “By true love’s kiss or whatever the fairy tales say.”
“This is no fairy tale,” Onyx responded, and there was a tremble in his hand as he held mine. “Nor can this curse be broken.”
A pensive expression crossed Briar’s face. “All magic, whether light or dark, has limits, no matter how strong the wielder may be. It can be inferred the same applies to the Hallowed Saint. Wielders of unimaginable power, yes, but not omnipotent. There must be a way to lift Vera’s curse.”
Onyx slowly exhaled. “Phantasia and I have exhausted all attempts to do so, using everything at our disposal. Elixirs. Spells. Charms imbued with the strongest of purifying properties. Even poisons that stopped my heart for a short time, hoping that would be enough to lift it. I then accepted defeat and began distancing myself. From everyone. Hoping I could beat the curse by becoming a recluse.”