Chapter Nineteen #2
A soft laugh left him. It came out raspier than his usual. More pained. “Why must you do this to me, little bird? It’s taken all I have to stay away from you, yet here you come to find me anyway.”
“I…” I swallowed the tightness in my throat. “Guess I’m not as strong-willed as you.”
“My will is not strong,” Onyx responded, stepping toward me. His scent tickled my nose, and my heart thrashed in my chest. “If it were, I would have cast you from my realm the moment you told me about the red spider lily.”
“I’m glad you didn’t.” I lowered my gaze to the stone walkway. “Meeting you… falling for you… I don’t regret it, Onyx.”
“Regret will come in time.” He stopped a foot in front of me. “Especially if you keep seeking me out like this.”
“That seems to be the consensus among Maddox and Callum too,” I admitted, my breath catching as I finally looked up at him. The silvery light of the moon kissed his porcelain skin and amplified the bright crimson threads in his eyes.
“A thing your knights and I can agree on,” he said with a click in his jaw. “You’d do well to heed their warning and keep your distance from me.”
I was playing with fire and knew there was a chance I could get burned. But Onyx was worth the risk.
“Phantasia took me to the sacred weeping willow,” I said, walking over and sitting on the nearest stone bench. It was the one we’d sat on the other day when I first told him I loved him. “She hoped the willow could offer me some guidance now that my powers aren’t blocked anymore.”
“And did she?” he asked, staring at the spot beside me. So much longing showed in his gaze, the mask he normally wore to cover his emotions nowhere to be found.
“Yep.” I patted the spot. “Come sit with me and I’ll tell you all about it.”
“I shouldn’t,” he said and lifted a hand to his chest. The mark appeared to pulse where it peeked out from the top of his inner robe. “It’s best if we… put an end to this while we still can. Before I do something we’ll both regret.”
“See? You really are kind.” My smile felt shaky on my lips. Unsteady, just like the beating of my heart. “Choosing my safety over what you really want.”
“I want nothing more than to embrace you, little bird.” Something I could only describe as a raw ache tore through his voice. Like maybe his heartstrings were fragile as well, barely keeping him together. “But I’ve let this go on for far too long. I must finally let you go.”
“Let me go?” I asked as a strange pressure gripped the base of my throat.
Onyx tipped his chin up. Steeling his expression once more. “I hear Briar is crafting you another protection stone that will make you undetectable to the mercenaries again. Once he’s finished, I wish for you and your mates to gather your belongings and leave my realm.”
“But I don’t want to leave you.” I stared at the plate still in my hand, vision blurring.
“Nor do I wish for you to.” There was a quick swallow in his throat.
“Yet, we haven’t a choice, Evan. I was foolish for thinking there was ever another path for us.
That I could keep you here forever. Even while pushing you away and denying our bond, a small part of me thought that you and I could… ”
Be happy. He didn’t need to finish the sentence.
Not sure what hurt more. The thought of leaving him or the defeated look in his eyes—in his voice—as he told me to.
“What if I could lift your curse?” I asked, the question barely more than a whisper. “Because that’s what the sacred willow told me, Onyx. She showed me a vision of you and I living a happy life together and said I had the power to make it happen.”
I felt like Charmander trying to protect his burning tail from the rain, holding a leaf over the little flame. Refusing to let that fire burn out.
Refusing to accept that Onyx and I were destined to end in tragedy.
“How do you intend on lifting it?” Onyx stepped toward the bench, then stopped in place, as if fighting an internal battle with himself. “I saw you speaking to a twig in days past, telling it to float then threatening to toss it in the swamp with the vipers when it didn’t.”
My responding laugh scraped against my sternum. Both amused that he’d been spying on me but sad too. Because he was right. My powers were no longer blocked, but no signs of them had shown since they’d been set free, despite my numerous attempts at making something magical happen.
“Briar thinks my power might lie in my food,” I said, then held out the plate with the slice of cake. “We can always have you eat this and see what happens.”
I had thought of Onyx while making the cake, putting the love I wished him to feel in every stir and whisk. Wishful thinking, probably, but worth a try.
“I’ve eaten your food several times, little bird, yet the curse remains.” But he came over anyway and sat beside me on the bench, keeping a gap between us. He accepted the plate and cut off a bite-sized piece of cake before eating it.
I waited with bated breath, watching him chew.
The tiniest hint of a smile touched the edge of his mouth, one joined by a sad pang in his eyes. “It tastes lovely.”
“Not lovely enough to break a curse though,” I said with a sigh. “Take another bite. Maybe you have to eat the whole piece for the magic to work.”
He didn’t get the chance. Right as he stuck a second bite into his mouth, an orange fuzzy lump leapt up and snatched the rest of the cake, scurrying off into the bushes.
“Pumpkin!” I called after the arbordu. “You little stinker!”
Onyx laughed.
The sound had me whipping my head back around to him, my heart squeezing in my chest. Tears sprang to my eyes.
“Why do you cry?” Onyx asked, the remnants of his laugh fading. He reached forward and touched my jaw in his familiar way. The brush of his knuckles over my skin sent tingles all throughout my body.
“Because I love you,” I said, draping my hand over his and leaning more into his touch. “And it’s not fair that you can never love me back. That you have to close yourself off from the world.”
Onyx watched me, his expression hovering between sorrow and confusion. “Then use that love to take this curse from me.”
I stilled. “You really think I can?”
“What I believe doesn’t matter. The sacred willow believes you can.” He moved my hand to the mark over his chest—over his heart. “But if you’re unable to do so, you must swear to me you’ll finally spread your wings and fly away, little bird.”
His woodsmoke scent wrapped around me, bringing more tears to my eyes. Within that smokiness, I caught whiffs of something peppery. Rowan must have moved closer to us. Just as a precaution.
My hand trembled as I flattened my palm over the mark. The heat of his skin seeped into me, igniting a fire in me as well. One that burned for the demon lord like the blaze of a thousand suns. I closed my eyes and visualized the power flowing through my veins, willing it to surge forward.
Take this burden from him. I repeated the words in my mind over and over again.
Something stirred inside of me, hovering just under my skin. I sensed it. Sensed the zaps of those blue sparks. I focused on that feeling and begged for it to sink into Onyx’s chest and break the curse that’d caused him so much loneliness and grief.
“Evan,” Onyx softly said, resting his hand over mine. I opened my eyes to find him staring at me with a look of resignation. “That’s enough.”
Nothing had happened.
“But I felt the surge of power inside me,” I said, my chest aching something fierce as frustration and desperation twisted together. “I told it to take away your curse. Begged for it to. Why didn’t it work?”
Onyx brought my hand to his lips and kissed my fingertips, one by one. “Perhaps some things simply aren’t meant to be.”
My chin wobbled. “I know I can do it, Onyx. Just give me more time. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know.”
“Rome?” He pressed my hand to his cheek and held it there. “A realm from your other world?”
“This is my world now,” I told him. “And you’re part of it. Letting you go isn’t an option.”
Onyx turned away from me… but not before his expression started to crumble. He stood from the bench and kept his back to me, hands formed into tight fists at his sides. “Rowan? Take him. Now.”
The shadows beside me swirled before Rowan appeared and grabbed my hand. He dragged me toward the exit without giving me a chance to argue. I glanced back right as we reached the set of doors where my other men waited.
Onyx stared after me with the saddest eyes I’d ever seen before he stepped into the shadows of the nearest tree and vanished.
***
“Have you come to mock me and my so-called powers?” I asked the chubby red and gold fish in the pond. It had swum up to the surface and blew a bubble at me. “That’s fair, I guess. Blow all the bubbles you want, just don’t bite me.”
The pond had become my thinking spot. And after the disappointment of my failed attempt at lifting Onyx’s curse earlier that night, I had a lot to sit and ponder. So, I had snuck out once my men fell asleep and come to find guidance among the fish.
“It’s just not fair,” I told Sir Chub. He was still staring at me.
“I know you’re a fish, but surely you can understand my frustration.
Onyx told me that within a week of Saint Vera’s powers awakening, she was already using them to take down units in the demon army.
Like how? I can’t even make a twig levitate and it’s been almost that long.
All I can do is sprinkle feel-good vibes into coffee or whatever. ”
I heaved a sigh and plopped to my side, curling an arm beneath my head as I stared at the water. The fish wagged its tail and moved closer to the bank.
“You know? You’re kind of cute. Sorry I used to think you were all muffin-eating monsters.”
Bloop. Another bubble.
A soft sneezing sound came from the grass behind me before Oreo padded forward, the wooden charm on his collar front and center. He nuzzled my hair before approaching the pond and staring at the fish, his fluffy ears lifting. One ear flopped forward, though, as usual. The cutest sight ever.