18. Rena
Rena
“Are you going to join our girls’ night, Ian?” Rosemary asked as she put a bag of popcorn in the microwave. “We’ve got popcorn and candy.”
“Ian is going to walk the perimeter,” Gary replied before Rosemary’s cousin could even open his mouth.
“Save me some popcorn,” Ian said quickly, smushing his cheeks between the door and doorjamb before disappearing outside.
“He’s adorable,” Reese said, pointing. “I just want to carry him around in my pocket.
“I’ll be sure to let him know,” Rosemary drawled. “Anyone want wine?”
“I’m making tea, if anyone wants that,” Mattie added, walking through the kitchen in a thick, baggy sweater and lounge pants. The woman looked classy even when she was walking around her own house.
“Do you have any ginger?” I asked hopefully.
My stomach had been bothering me all week.
It wasn’t like the violent nausea that hit when we were dealing with the worst effects of the mating heat.
It was more like a constant, dull, just barely there nausea that made me feel like crap.
Poor Chance had been racing around like a chicken with his head cut off, trying to find things to make me feel better, when all I really needed was to lie around and sleep.
“Got some,” Mattie said, lifting a tea bag she’d found in a drawer. “Would you like some honey in it?”
“Yes, please.”
“Well, Charlie wants to stay in his room,” Lucy announced as she came into the kitchen.
“He can catch the next one,” Reese replied with a smile.
Lucy just smiled sadly and nodded.
There was nothing anyone could do except love Charlie and be there when he needed them.
I hadn’t had an opportunity to spend much time with Lucy’s brother.
From the few conversations I’d had with him, he seemed like a sweet guy with an understated sense of humor who loved his sister.
Chance told me that it was a miracle that Charlie was still here.
Most Vampires and mates he’d known who’d lost their other half didn’t last long.
Their heartbreak became too much to bear.
“Thank you,” I said as Mattie set my tea down in front of me.
“How about some crackers to go with it?” she asked sympathetically. “I have some saltines.”
“No, thanks,” I replied with a wince. I’d found that if I wasn’t starving when I ate, the food just sat like lead in my stomach, making me feel worse.
I’d just looked down into my tea when the scent of slightly burned popcorn wafted across the kitchen to where I sat at the counter.
I bolted for the downstairs bathroom as saliva pooled in my mouth, but by the time I got there, my stomach had settled again into the normal, miserable nausea.
“I’ve got her,” Reese’s voice called from outside the bathroom. “You guys start the movie, and we’ll be there in a minute.”
She knocked on the door and let herself in.
“Bleh,” I complained, leaning against the counter.
“Come upstairs with me,” she ordered cryptically, turning to leave the bathroom again.
“I really don’t want to walk up the stairs again,” I whined.
“Tough.”
I followed her slowly, my shoulders slumped. I was worried about Chance, even though he’d said that his trip would be quick and he wasn’t worried. I missed him. And I felt like absolute garbage.
“Come on,” Reese said, gesturing dramatically to her room. “Let’s go.”
“Oh, fuck off,” I grumbled. “I’m coming.”
“Okay, good,” she said, swinging the door closed behind me the moment I’d crossed the threshold. “You’re going to go into my bathroom and take a pregnancy test.”
“I’m what?” I shouted.
“See, that’s why I closed the door before I told you,” she said smugly. “Come on. You’re taking a pregnancy test.”
“I’m not pregnant.”
“Says who?”
“I would know if I were pregnant,” I argued, following her to the bathroom anyway.
“I asked Alice a while back if there was anything different about a Vampire pregnancy,” Reese said, ignoring me.
“She said no, except for the fact that we only have boys, and there’s kind of a short window to decide and pop out as many kids as you want.
Everything else is the same.” She reached into the back of the cabinet.
“Including the accuracy of pregnancy tests.”
“I’m not pregnant,” I repeated.
“Just pee on it.”
“I’m not pregnant.” I threw up my arms. “How many times do I have to say it?”
“Then you won’t mind peeing on this fifteen-dollar stick, will you?” she asked, slapping the box against my chest. “How are your boobs by the way?”
“My boobs are fine, asshole.”
“Sore?”
“You want me to pee on the stick, or what?”
“I’ll wait right out here,” she replied snootily, walking into the bedroom.
Ripping open the box, I read the directions twice.
“I’m waiting!”
“Shut up!”
It looked pretty straightforward.
I peed on the stick and placed it on a wad of toilet paper to age or whatever while I washed my hands.
“Are you done yet?” Reese asked, knocking on the door.
“It’s aging,” I snapped.
“What the fuck does that mean?”
“You know, you have to give it three minutes or whatever.”
“I’m coming in.”
“I should’ve set it in your toothbrush holder,” I told her, leaning against the counter. “This is stupid.”
“Are you taking precautions?” Reese asked. “Is Chance taking the pill?”
“Well, no,” I admitted.
“Then it’s entirely possible.”
“It’s not.”
“I’m telling you, it is.”
“Reese,” I snapped. “I ovulated the week before we met.”
Reese’s face scrunched up in confusion. “What? How the hell would you know that?”
“Because I did intrauterine insemination,” I said with a sigh.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” she yelled, shoving my shoulder.
“I was going to tell you if it worked,” I yelled back, shoving her shoulder. “But then Alice said it probably didn’t. The success rates are pretty low, and with the car accident and then the heat, she said?—”
“You’re pregnant.”
“No, she said I probably wasn’t.”
“No, Rena,” Reese said, pointing at the toilet paper on the floor. “That says you’re pregnant.”
My legs turned to water. “What?”
“Whoa, there,” Reese said, flipping the toilet seat lid down so I could sit.
“No,” I babbled. “No, Alice said I probably wasn’t. No. It wasn’t supposed to happen. I thought it wasn’t going to happen.”
“It’s happening,” Reese replied. “Do I need to slap you?”
“I’ll slap your ass back.”
“Okay, good. Your voice isn’t doing that super high thing anymore.”
“Jesus wept,” I whispered, staring at the little blue lines.
“You’ve always wanted kids,” she said hopefully, crouching in front of me.
“I want Chance’s kids.”
“You think he’ll be mad?” she asked in surprise. “He doesn’t know?”
“He knows,” I clarified. “But Alice was pretty sure. I mean, she said she couldn’t tell me one hundred percent, but basically said don’t bet on it.”
“Well, maybe you should play the lottery.”
“I’ll just use Chance’s black card,” I said distractedly.
Reese laughed under her breath.
“I can’t have a human baby, Reese.”
“It’ll be fine,” she reassured me, wrapping her hands around mine and rubbing briskly. “We’ll figure it out. We’ve always figured it out, right?”
“No, I can’t have a human baby,” I insisted, my voice hoarse. “It’ll die.”
“Rena,” she breathed sadly.
“It’ll get older and older, and I’ll stay the same age, just like my mom and grandma.”
My chest felt tight, like there was an elephant sitting on it.
“Don’t think about that yet,” she ordered, shaking her head.
“How can I think about anything else?”
“Are you guys coming down?” Rosemary’s voice blared from the intercom on the wall.
“Shit,” Reese spat, hurrying toward the little box on the wall. She pressed a button and spoke into it. “Rena’s got the shits. We’re going to just hang out in her room and crash.”
“Bummer. Tell her I hope she feels better.”
“I will.”
“I can’t believe you just told her that.”
“Did you want Mattie up here trying to bring you saltines?” Reese asked, shrugging. “This way, they’ll leave us alone.”
I just shook my head and looked back at the pregnancy test.
I must’ve been looking at it for a while because Reese went to the kitchen and brought back a little plastic bag. “What’s some urine between friends?” she asked, picking up the test and carefully setting it inside the plastic bag before tossing the toilet paper in the trash. “Here.”
I took the bag from her so she could wash her hands.
It said something about my state of mind that I didn’t even flinch when she took the test back and stuffed it in her shirt.
“Okay, come on,” she ordered. “Let’s go to your room.”
I followed numbly behind her as we went downstairs, crossed the living space, and walked up the stairs to our rooms. My head was swimming as she sat me on the couch and brought me the throw blanket off our bed.
“Okay, we’re going to sit here and watch movies until the guys get home,” she said firmly, taking the test out of her shirt. “We’re not going to panic, and we’re not going to spiral.”
“I’m not spiraling.”
“Sure, you’re not.” She went over to the computer and pulled up the movie I’d been watching that morning. Immediately, all the monitors started playing it. “Oh, cool. When did Chance set that shit up?”
“Yesterday.”
Yesterday, when I felt crummy, but the world wasn’t falling down around my ears.
Yesterday, when I’d spent the afternoon making a bunch of social media posts for a local bakery that had a tiny budget, but was by far the most fun client, so I always made sure their shit was epic.
Yesterday, when Chance had climbed into the bath with me, and we’d talked about what kind of house we wanted.
Yesterday, when I’d been so sure that everything was going to be fucking great.
Nothing but blue skies, that’s what I’d thought.
“Hey,” Reese said, snapping in front of my face. She pointed at the monitors. “Movie. Watch it. Live it. Experience it. Spiraling.”
I looked at the screens, but I didn’t see anything. Grief swallowed me whole.
Eventually, I fell asleep.
I woke when Chance came in the door.
“Oh, shit,” he whispered. “Why did you guys sleep out here?”
“We crashed out watching movies,” Reese said groggily, squeezing my foot. “Is Beau in our room?”