Chapter 9
Dosia: I’m sorry you found out that way. I honestly was going to tell you. I just didn’t know how, which seems ridiculous now. Please, can we talk?
D osia stared down at her phone. She’d typed and retyped her message to Pumpkin over a dozen times in the last hour. Every time, she ended up hitting Delete instead of Send. Nothing sounded right. Nothing sounded reasonable. Nothing sounded sincere.
Tossing her phone to the side, Dosia dropped her head onto her arms folded on the counter. JJ was at school. Grandma Solstice was staying at home today and would have no problems picking her up. Calliope was, uh, somewhere . Per Grandpa Marmot, she hadn’t come home last night.
Dosia had no idea what to do about her aunt.
Her mind felt all abuzz, and no thoughts were stringing together to formulate a plan.
She was still pissed at Calliope. How could she not be?
But there was such raw emotion in her aunt’s pleas the night before that it made Dosia more sympathetic , she supposed.
Still didn’t help Dosia decide what to do next .
But Pumpkin was her priority. She needed to talk to him before any lawyers got involved.
Shit, he was probably already at a lawyer’s, and probably an expensive one too.
She didn’t have much, which meant that she’d get the losing end of the deal because her lawyer wouldn’t spend that much time on her case.
She did not want to have to take out a loan to pay lawyer fees!
Could she get him to understand? Somehow, make him see reason?
Dosia didn’t even know what she was asking for or what the ‘reason’ was.
All she knew was she wasn’t giving up her daughter.
And there certainly wouldn’t be any shared custody until JJ met Pumpkin and understood more of what was going on.
Dosia would not rip JJ from anyone and everything she knew just because Pumpkin wanted to be selfish.
The cowbell rang out, and Dosia had to suppress a groan. She’d gotten almost no sleep the night before, just tossing and turning. But she picked up her head, put a fake smile on her face, and greeted her customer.
“Welcome to Wrinkle on —” She stopped when she saw it wasn’t a customer who had walked in.
It was Pumpkin.
Her heart stuttered to a halt as her eyes went wide. And for some stupid reason, the first thing that popped out of her mouth upon seeing him was, “JJ’s not here.” Her voice was nothing more than a squeak.
Pumpkin nodded. He had a silver walker with him today, making her heart ache for an entirely different reason. Had he hurt himself yesterday, walking without his cane? He was slow as he came forward, and Dosia could see the tightness in his mouth and the corners of his eyes. He was in pain.
She rushed around the counter. “Are you okay?”
The chuckle that came out of his mouth held a note of cynicism. “ Not particularly.” He reached into the inside pocket of his cut and pulled out a bar of white chocolate. Handing it to her, he said, “It’s my version of a white flag. Can we talk?”
This close to him, Dosia saw the colored bags under his eyes and thought perhaps he’d gotten even less sleep than she had the night before.
Accepting the chocolate, she nodded, “Please.” Pointing to the corner of the store where she had a seating area next to the kids’ books, she said, “I’ll lock up so we’re not interrupted.
I never took a lunch hour today anyway, so it should be fine. ”
“I don’t want to cost you customers—” Pumpkin started, but Dosia waved him off.
“What customers? Apparently Tuesdays are extremely slow because you’re the first person to walk in today.” Which was yet another sting to her pride.
Pumpkin started towards the seating area. Dosia hurried over to the door, turned the lock, and flipped the sign to Closed. Then she pulled the shade down out of habit.
Glancing at her hand, she looked at the white chocolate bar. Had he gotten it for the white flag symbolism or had he somehow known that white chocolate was her favorite? She wasn’t sure if she’d told him that six years ago. Even if she had, she doubted he would remember such a small detail.
Taking a deep breath, she turned towards the Children’s section and Pumpkin.
He was on the love seat against the wall.
The other chairs were way too small for him—other than her rocking chair, which she’d brought from Grandma Solstice’s house.
It had been Dosia’s mother’s and had been sitting unused in the attic until last week.
Dosia took a seat in it now, putting herself across the colorful carpet that decorated the hardwood floor in this section from him. It also was the furthest she could sit from him, though that hadn’t been intentional. She needed to feel close to her mom for this conversation.
Neither of them spoke for a long minute. The only sound in the store was from the offices overhead. Shit, she’d forgotten about that when she locked the door. She hoped neither doctor had an appointment any time soon.
Maybe she should go unlock the door. Keep the Closed sign up but give patients the option to enter.
Before she could decide what to do, Pumpkin spoke, effectively distracting her. “I’m sorry.”
Dosia’s eyes flew to his. He was looking directly at her, an expression of sincerity on his handsome face.
Dosia swallowed hard. “Me too.”
“You have my word that I won’t take JJ away from you.
That is the last thing I want. But I need to be in her life, Dosia.
I have to be a part of it.” He cleared his throat.
“I grew up without a father. Learning that she’s been without me all this time…
” His voice trailed off. He ran a hand down his face, from forehead to beard.
“SJ’s mom was… Well, she’s not in the picture anymore.
A mere coincidence even informed us that she was pregnant and then a bunch of us had to do a paternity test to see who the father was.
I just… I kept thinking ‘not again’. Because a mere chance led me back to you and JJ.
What if I never even knew SJ existed? What kind of life would he even have now?
And while I don’t doubt you’ve been taking very good care of JJ, it kills me that I wasn’t there too. ”
Shame washed over Dosia. She’d judged him harshly by a sight through a bar window. She should have tried to contact him over the years. At least looked him up to see if he was still the same man she’d assumed him to be.
“Will you tell me why you didn’t come to me when you found out you were pregnant?”
Dosia pulled her long sleeve over her hand and used it to wipe her eyes.
“I did. It was roughly six weeks after we were together. I skipped classes and drove all the way back here. Even took three pregnancy tests because my roommate said guys want to have multiple tests done as proof. It honestly didn’t take that long to find you.
The entire town was abuzz with the club’s new bar’s grand opening. ”
Pumpkin’s eyes widened and his face paled. “Oh, shit.”
“Yup.” Dosia nodded, her lips pressed together.
She wasn’t sure if it was good or bad that he remembered what he was doing during that celebration.
“Didn’t even have to make it inside the bar to find you.
You were right there by the big, glass window.
” Pumpkin closed his eyes as if that would keep him from hearing what she said next.
“You had two women on your lap and were swapping saliva with both of them. Given what little I remembered of our night together, plus that, I drew certain conclusions about you and decided that I didn’t want that sort of influence in my child’s life. ”
Pumpkin’s eyes shot open, and Dosia caught the flash of anger in his eyes before he quashed it. She held up her hand to stop him from speaking.
“I was wrong,” she admitted. “Even if it wasn’t that night, I’ve had six years to tell you about JJ. You had a right to know regardless of what kind of man I thought you were, and I’m sorry.”
Pumpkin let out a long breath. “One of my brothers reamed me a new one yesterday after I told him what happened here. He reminded me how…wild,” he cringed, “we were back in the day. Most of us fresh off deployment and still adjusting to civilian life. Even as hard as I tried to find you, even I’ll admit I gave up pretty quickly.
Hell, I’m pretty sure I was sleeping around while still trying to find you.
” He made a face. “As much as it chafes to admit, I have no idea how I would have reacted six years ago if you’d told me about JJ then.
Going off of how I reacted when I found out about SJ, it likely wouldn’t have been good.
“But I’m a different person now, Dosia. Better. I’ve sowed my wild oats, as they say. Hell, I’m practically an old man.” He waved a hand at his walker beside the couch. Dosia couldn’t help chuckling at his joke. “I have a lot to make up for, starting with six years of child support.”
Dosia quickly shook her head. “No! I mean, that’s a lot of money, and we’re doing fine. Moving took a chunk of my savings, but we’re okay. I never wanted your money, Pumpkin.”
He patted the leather seat next to him. “Please. I don’t like you being so far away.”
Dosia hesitated for only a moment before standing and crossing the round carpet. She sat beside him, turning slightly so they were still face to face. That intoxicating scent hit her nostrils like a sledgehammer.
“There’s a lot we have to talk about, but one thing you have to know is that money isn’t a problem for me, and now isn’t for you either.”
Dosia blinked, having no idea how to respond to that. “Um, what?”