Chapter 11 #2
When the food was ready, the three of us squeezed around that little table.
Leo sat in the middle, me on the left, Sebastian on the right. He'd tell me one dish was delicious, then turn to tell Sebastian about something at school, busy as could be.
I watched him, a strange feeling rising in my chest.
This scene was too normal.
Normal like any ordinary family.
But this wasn't my family.
And this wasn't his family.
After dinner, Leo ran off to watch cartoons. I cleared the dishes, Sebastian stood by to help.
"Let me." He took the bowl from my hands. "You sit."
"You don't have to—"
"Olivia." He looked at me, a bit of seriousness in his eyes. "Let me help."
I froze, let go.
He took the bowls to wash.
I stood in the kitchen, watching his back.
This man. Five years of this. Showing up, helping, never crossing the line, never making me uncomfortable.
The things he gave me, I returned whatever I could.
What I couldn't return easily, I kept but always found a way to repay—like today's dinner.
I never let him stay at the shop too late, never gave him any ambiguous hope.
He knew. He knew it all. But he kept coming.
"Sebastian," I spoke up.
"Yeah?" He turned.
"You..." I wanted to say something, but the words stuck in my throat. "Never mind."
He looked at me, silent for a moment, then kept washing.
When the dishes were done, he dried his hands, turned around.
"Olivia," he said. "I'm going to leave in a bit."
"Okay."
"Before I go, I want to say something."
My chest tightened.
"You're making this too hard on yourself," he said, voice soft, like stating a fact, not accusing, not pitying. "I know you don't want to hear this, but it's true."
I looked at him, said nothing.
He took a step forward, then stopped.
"I'm not trying to say anything." He said. "I just want you to know that if... if you need help, you can find me anytime. I'm not—"
He paused.
"I'm not trying to make things difficult for you. You know that."
I knew.
He'd never made things difficult for me in five years.
But that's exactly why I couldn't owe him.
"Sebastian," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. "Thank you. But—"
"No buts." He cut me off, smiled. "You don't have to say anything. I just wanted to say that. Now I've said it, I'll go."
He grabbed his coat and walked toward the door.
At the doorway, he looked back at me.
"Next time I pass through, can I still come by?"
I looked into his eyes.
Expectation there, and carefulness.
"Yes," I said.
He smiled, that smile brighter than before.
"Good."
He pushed the door open and walked into the sunlight outside.
I stood in the flower shop, watching his figure disappear at the end of the street.
My phone suddenly rang.
I picked it up—Sophie.
I answered.
"Olivia!"
Her voice burst through the receiver, still the same as five years ago, loud and dramatic, with that pleading lilt.
"Sophie."
"Dear sister, I have good news. I'm getting married!"
I froze.
"What?"
"I'm getting married! He proposed last week, and I said yes! Olivia, my sister, I want you to come back and witness my wedding."
Come back.
Those words were like a stone dropped into the well in my heart that had been still for five years.
"Sophie..."
"I know, I know you don't want to come back." Her voice dropped. "But Olivia, this is my wedding. If you're not there, I'll be so sad and disappointed. Please!"
I gripped the phone, said nothing.
"Olivia, please." A hint of tears entered her voice. "Five years. I haven't seen you in five years. I miss you."
My eyes suddenly stung.
"Let me think about it."
"Think about what? You have to come!" She sniffled. "Bring Leo too. I want to meet him. Please, this is really important to me—"
I was silent for a long time.
Ella's words flashed through my mind, and Leo's hopeful voice.
Maybe I really should let go of the past and start a new life.
Besides, I missed Sophie more than I realized.
"Okay," I finally said.
"Really?" Sophie's voice lit up instantly. "You really said yes?"
"Really."
She screamed on the other end.
"Perfect! I'm booking a hotel right now! No wait, you're staying with me! I have a guest room! Leo can play with Jason, he loves kids—"
I listened to her chatter, the corner of my mouth curving up involuntarily.
Five years.
She hadn't changed at all.
After hanging up, I stood in the shop.
Phone still in my hand, the screen gradually darkening.
Go back.
Back to New York.
Back to the place I thought I'd forgotten.
I turned my head, looked at Leo.
He was still drawing, head down, little hand gripping the crayon, coloring stroke by stroke.
"Leo."
"Yeah?"
"Want to go to America?"
He looked up, those green eyes brightening.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"When are we going?"
"Next month," I said, walked over, crouched beside him. "To see Sophie get married."
"Awesome!" He jumped up excitedly. "I can finally ride on an airplane!"
I looked at him.
At that excited little face.
Then reached out, pulled him into my arms.
"Mommy?"
"It's nothing," I said, voice a bit hoarse. "I'm just—just really happy."
Leo nuzzled in my arms.
"I'm happy too."
The next two weeks, I started preparing to go back.
Put the flower shop in the hands of the old couple down the street—Pierre and Mary. They'd lived here for forty years, good people who'd helped me a lot these years.
"How long will you be gone?" Mary asked, face full of concern.
"About a month."
"That's wonderful." She smiled. "You should take a break. These five years, you haven't had a single day off."
"Thank you both."
"Don't mention it," Pierre said, patting my shoulder. "Go on. Have a good time."
I nodded.
When packing, Leo was beside himself with excitement, running around the room.
"Mommy, should I bring this?" He held up a toy car.
"Sure."
"What about this?" He held up a sketchbook.
"That too."
"And—"
"Leo," I said, couldn't help laughing. "The suitcase won't fit everything."
"Oh." He set down the giant toy dinosaur, disappointed. "Okay then, Mr. Dinosaur has to stay home and guard the house!"
I watched him.
That excited little face.
"Leo."
"Yeah?"
"When we get to America, we might meet some..." I paused, not knowing how to say it. "Some people Mommy knows."
"What people?"
"Just..." My throat tightened. "Friends from Mommy's past."
Leo tilted his head, looking at me.
"Mommy's friends? Then they must be nice."
I looked at him.
Those green eyes full of trust.
"Yeah," I said. "They're nice."
But I didn't know what I was saying.
The day we left, the weather was beautiful.
Bright sunshine, almost blinding.
I held Leo's hand, dragged the suitcase, walked toward the airport.
Pierre and Mary stood at the shop entrance, waving.
"Safe travels!"
"We will!"
I turned my head, kept walking.
Leo asked questions the whole way.
"Mommy, can airplanes really fly above the clouds?"
"Really."
"Can we see the clouds?"
"Yes."
"What do clouds look like?"
"Soft and white."
"Can we touch them?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because..." I thought. "Because clouds are mysterious little sprites."
He nodded, half-understanding.
At the airport, we checked in, went through security, and waited at the gate.
Leo kept staring at the planes outside the window, eyes full of excitement.
"Mommy, is that the one we're taking?"
"No."
"Is it that one?"
"No."
"Then—"
"Leo," I said, couldn't help smiling. "When they call our flight, we'll know."
"Okay."
He sat in the chair, little legs swinging, couldn't stay still for a second.
I watched him.
That excited little face.
Those bright green eyes.
My son.
Five years.
Five years I'd been telling myself leaving was right.
Leo didn't need to know who his father was.
He didn't need to know that dark, cold world full of rules and betrayal.
He just needed to grow up here, in the sunlight, safe and happy.
But now—
Now I was taking him back.
Back to that place.
Back to those memories.
Back to—
I closed my eyes.
Took a deep breath.
"Ladies and gentlemen, flight 023 to New York is now boarding—"
The announcement came on.
Leo jumped up.
"Mommy! That's us!"
I stood, took his hand.
"Let's go."