Chapter 25 #2
“I get where they’re coming from a little bit.
When I first got here, all of this was too good to be true.
Like, what do you mean I rang my birth dad’s doorbell and he took me in?
That first week, I fully expected to wake up back in Kansas, this whole thing being nothing more than a dream.
What if Austin and Arizona are scared to get too comfortable here, with us, because they don’t want to end up hurt if it all goes away? ”
My chest tightened. “I’m not letting them go.”
A hum came from my daughter. “I know that, but do they?”
Damn, she was insightful for a twelve-year-old.
But she was right. Sooner rather than later, I needed to have a conversation with my wife about how I felt.
It just so happened that the Surf’s last home game of the season was against the Indianapolis Speed, the perfect opponent to allow me to kick off my apology tour.
Typically, on a game day, the home team got the arena’s ice for an hour, then the away team was allowed to have a morning skate right after. So, I’d had the opportunity to shower before the Speed’s journalists began filing into a makeshift press room.
Poking my nose inside, I didn’t see the face I was looking for and frowned.
“Lost, Nixon?” a member of the press pack joked, causing the others to laugh.
“Not exactly. I was wondering . . . Does Bristol Cooper still travel with you guys?”
The only woman in the room replied, “It’s Bristol Sterling now, but yeah. She should be here in a minute.”
My eyes widened at the mention of her name change. I’d done such a good job avoiding anyone associated with the Speed for the past seven years that I hadn’t known she’d gone and married their coach.
“Levi?” a surprised yet familiar voice said from behind me, and I spun around.
Seeing Bristol pregnant caught me off guard, and I huffed out a laugh, gesturing to her stomach. “Wow, you’re . . .”
Her blue eyes lifted to the ceiling, and she blew out a breath. “As big as a whale. Yeah, I know.”
“I was going to say glowing.”
Gaze softening, she said, “That’s nice of you to say, but I know this”—she smoothed a hand over her large bump—“is your worst nightmare come to life.”
Back when she knew me, yeah, it was, but a lot had changed since then.
“Is this your first?”
A smile touched her lips. “No, we already have a four-year-old boy, Kit.”
“Born with a hockey stick in his hand, no doubt,” I teased.
She hummed. “You’d be surprised. He prefers his toy guitar over the mini rink setup we have.”
My eyebrows rose. “You’ve got yourself a musician?”
Bristol nodded. “We both know he sure as hell didn’t get it from me.”
I laughed. The woman was a notoriously terrible singer.
“I guess the universe has a sense of humor after all,” she mused.
She could say that again.
There was no easy way to do this, so I decided to just spit it out.
“You were too good for me.”
Her mouth dropped open, and before either one of us could say another word, a gruff voice boomed, “On that, we can agree.”
Bristol turned toward her husband, and her entire face transformed—a breathtaking smile curved onto her lips, her eyes sparkling with love. She’d never once looked at me like that, like I was her whole world.
“Hi,” she breathed as he stepped in to press a kiss to her temple, looping a protective arm around her waist.
Maddox Sterling trained his distrustful green glare on me. “Nixon.”
“Sterling.” I crossed my arms.
There was certainly no love lost between us. The last time we’d been this close—outside of when I played against the Speed and he was behind the bench coaching them—his fists had been getting intimately acquainted with my face.
I’d done, and said, some things that I shouldn’t have—shocker, I know—and the physical altercation was Maddox’s way of expressing his displeasure.
The giant ex-pro—dude was literally massive; why the hell had I ever thought I could take him?—didn’t mince words. “What do you want?”
“Was hoping for a minute alone with Bristol.” I shuffled on my feet, the nerves getting the best of me, and my voice cracked. “To apologize.” The word felt unfamiliar on my tongue.
He couldn’t hide his shock. “You? Apologize?”
I shrugged. “Yeah, I, uh, had some stuff happen in my personal life that opened my eyes to how much of a jerk I’ve been in the past. And it’s important that I take accountability for my actions, let those I’ve hurt know that I’m sorry.”
Bristol turned to her husband. “Can you give us a minute?”
Maddox grunted. “Presser starts in five.” Then he released her and brushed past me into the room full of reporters.
I wasted one of those five minutes staring at the girl-turned-woman who used to idolize me.
Not that I deserved it. Because while she claimed me as her boyfriend, I viewed her as nothing more than a fuck buddy.
A warm body on standby that I could call anytime the team was in Hartford.
The minute she started talking about forever, I ended things.
She took it hard. Moved halfway across the country to get away from me.
“I am sorry, Bristol,” I began. “I never should have used you the way I did, stringing you along, letting you think that there could be more between us. And I’m especially sorry for cornering you at that bar in Indy after you left Connecticut.”
My fists clenched, imagining someone toeing the line of what was considered sexual assault with Maisie. No doubt, I would have had the same reaction as Maddox.
Head tilted to the side, she assessed me. “You’ve changed.”
Self-deprecating laughter burst from my chest. “Bet you never saw that coming.”
“The younger version of myself wanted to believe that it was possible. Hell, she had confidence that she would be the one to spark that change.”
Guilt churned in my gut. “Bristol . . .”
“Tell me, was the catalyst a woman?”
Oh, she was going to get a real kick out of this.
“In a way, yes.” Whipping out my phone, I woke up the lock screen before turning it around to show her a picture of Maisie, explaining, “The universe saw I was treating women like shit and decided that a good way to knock me down a few pegs was by having me raise one.”
Bristol’s hand flew to her mouth. “You’re a dad?”
My chest swelled with pride. “Yeah. Found out less than a month ago, but I’m so in love with her. It’s unreal.”
“Never imagined you having kids.”
“That makes two of us. But it’s been the best surprise of my life.”
“May I?” She extended a hand, and I dropped my phone into her palm so she could examine the picture more closely. Her eyes flicked up to meet mine. “How old is she?”
“Twelve, about to turn thirteen this summer.”
Instantly, I could see her doing the math in her head, trying to figure out whether Maisie had been conceived while we were together.
I set her mind at ease. “It was before we met. And before you ask, I don’t know who her mom is, and neither does she. Maisie was adopted at birth, and the records are sealed.”
“Oh, Levi. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not. I have regrets, sure, but twenty-year-old me was in no place to take on a baby.”
“Wow.” Her disbelieving laughter filled the air as she passed my phone back to me. “So you’re doing this alone? What about the adoptive parents?”
A mix of sorrow and gratitude filled me at the mention of the people who’d raised Maisie from infancy. “They passed away about a year ago.”
Tears glistened in Bristol’s eyes. “Poor thing.”
“But to answer your question, I’m not doing this all by myself. I got married recently, and my wife comes with a fourteen-year-old boy.”
“Two kids and a wife? Who are you?”
I chuckled. “I barely recognize myself these days. But I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
She hauled me in for a hug, which was awkward with her giant belly in the way.
Sniffling, she pulled away. “I’m happy for you.”
“We might not have ended up with each other, but I’d like to think we both got the families we were always meant to have.”
Peeking down at her stomach, she nodded her agreement. “I think you’re right about that.” Smiling, she lifted her gaze. “I forgive you, Levi. I’m sure Dakota will give me an earful about it when she finds out, but I mean it.”
Rocking back on my heels, I asked, “How is Danny—” Bristol shot me a sharp glare, and I quickly corrected, “Dakota, these days?”
Her best friend was among the many people I needed to apologize to.
She’d seen me for the walking red flag that I was and had tried to warn Bristol away.
Only for me to target her in response. I was so fucking childish—calling her a nickname she hated, teasing her for being a homebody who preferred the company of books to people, and going out of my way to wreck the relationship she developed with my teammate—and I could not be more ashamed.
She’d done nothing wrong. She’d only been looking out for her friend.
I hoped someday Maisie would find a friend like that.
Bristol beamed. “Oh, you mean my best friend, the best-selling author and indie bookstore owner? She’s amazing. Two little ones underfoot, one boy and one girl, and another on the way.”
“Damn.” I whistled. “Guess we’re all grown up now.”
“Yeah, I suppose we are.”
“Bristol?” Maddox reappeared on the threshold of the press room. “It’s time.”
Her cheeks pinkened. “I have to go.”
“It was really good to see you, Coop.”
That old nickname got a laugh out of her. “Yeah, you too, Nix.”
Then she was gone.
One apology down, about a million to go.