16. Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Sixteen
Andre
A sking Zahir to make love to me so soon after my first mind-blowing orgasm felt decadent. Well, not my first orgasm. Just my first with another person in the room. With that person’s mouth around my cock.
He was stacking up to be a lot of firsts—first Daddy, first blow job…
hopefully first person to be inside me. That thought brought both hesitation and need.
I needed him to take me—and I worried about how much it might hurt.
Hell, I even wondered if I might have regrets.
Not about losing my virginity—I was set on this course.
No, more that I might feel guilty for asking him to do something he clearly hadn’t planned to do.
We’d mapped out a Daddy/pup relationship—we hadn’t even talked about anal intercourse.
Yet I was certain he’d say no if this wasn’t what he wanted. Although he could be incredibly accommodating, he also had a clear mind of his own. He didn’t do anything he didn’t want to.
Tasting my cum on his tongue was weirdly erotic, and I had to grin .
He pulled back and quirked an eyebrow.
“I like. I promise I like.” I gazed up into his stunning eyes. “Can you give me more? Are you okay with that?”
“Yes, I am. I promise I would say if that wasn’t the case.”
“I figured.” I ran my hand up and down his back.
Zahir grinned, then eased himself off me. This time he didn’t suck my nipples. That’d been all kinds of hot. As he positioned himself between my thighs, he held my gaze.
I nodded.
He grabbed the bottle of lube.
After a moment, I opened my thighs wider—giving him the most access I could.
I’d never felt so exposed. Not even at my mom’s funeral with everyone watching me with pity.
No. This was worse. Or…worse was the wrong word.
Vulnerable. I felt vulnerable. I’d given this man the ammunition he needed to really hurt me—whether intentional or not.
We still hadn’t defined this relationship, and I had no way of knowing if he felt about me the way I felt about him. A little bit…in love.
Which was all kinds of crazy.
He coated his fingers with lube and moved them to my entrance.
I nodded.
He ran his finger around the rim.
The cool against my heated skin was an interesting sensation.
“This is going to feel uncomfortable. Even with toys, this isn’t going to be something you’re used to.” With that, he slid a finger in.
He wasn’t wrong. The feeling was foreign. Doing this to myself was one thing—having him do it was completely different.
“Breathe, Andre.”
I obeyed—not even realizing I’d stopped. I offered a small smile.
He grinned back as he added a second finger .
My insides tingled. And not from anything he was doing. No. More from the realization I was really doing this. With someone I cared about.
He scissored and worked his way inside. Then he crooked his finger and hit my prostate. Electricity zinged through me. I’d done this before as well—but that sensation didn’t compare to this.
A drop of precum leaked, and he licked it off my rather sensitive tip.
He cocked his head. “You okay?”
I nodded vigorously. “Fine. Just fine.” Hell, even if I wasn’t, I sure as shit wasn’t going to say anything negative. Anything that might deter him. Anything that might derail this.
“Do you think you’re ready?” His serious expression spoke to me. His genuine concern for my well-being.
“For you? I think I’ve always been ready. That I’ve always been waiting.” Jesus. Cheesy much?
For my candor, though, I got a huge grin. “I feel the same way. I didn’t know I needed you, and now I can’t imagine doing this with anyone else.” He slipped his fingers from me.
An overwhelming feeling of emptiness swept over me.
“Patience.” He coated his cock with lube. “I’m going to go gentle.”
“I don’t want gentle. I just want you in me. Right damn now.” Need thrummed through my veins in a way I couldn’t explain. In this moment, I needed more from him than I’d ever needed anything before.
He lined himself up and gently started pressing inside.
The odd sensation permeated me as he slowly eased in.
It hurt. Not a ton…but it sure didn’t feel good either.
“Keep breathing, Andre. And tell me to stop if you need me to. Consent, okay? ”
Whatever that meant. “Just keep going.” Because pleasure always came after the pain, right? The discomfort increased until, after a minute, the pressure eased slightly.
“The head’s in. That’s the toughest part.” He inched in and then pulled back a bit. Pressed in farther, then pulled back again.
“You’re killing me.”
He cocked his head.
“In a good way.” Had to be clear about that.
“Okay.” He continued to push his way in until he stilled. “I’ve bottomed out.”
“Right.” Which meant he was about as far as he was going to go.
I continued to breathe as I adjusted to the sensation of fulness. “This is...good.”
“I’m going to move now.” He said the words through gritted teeth.
On instinct, I pressed my hand to his forehead. Sweat slicked under my touch. I wanted to ask if he was okay. His arms shook as he held himself above me. “I’m ready.” Because that felt like the right thing to say.
He nodded, withdrew almost to the tip, and thrust back in.
My body sang with the contact. With the pressure. With the knowledge he wanted this as much as I did. This might be the millionth time for him…but it was also the first time since his husband died. He might not have said the words out loud, but I knew them to be true.
I trailed my hands down his sides as he continued to thrust into me.
Little gasps and grunts escaped me as I grasped his ass.
Whether to hold him steady or to encourage him to go harder, I couldn’t be certain.
More. More. More. I was greedy. And my cock was perking right back to life.
What had he said? Refractory periods? Yeah, my body was just so into this .
As if sensing my thoughts, he moved his hand between our bodies and grasped my cock.
He tugged along to the rhythm of the thrusts.
He hadn’t used lube, but I was too far gone to give it more than passing thought.
Need clawed through me and brought me closer and closer to orgasm.
I felt like I’d just come and yet my body was reaching for that ultimate climax yet again. “Zahir?”
“Yes, sweetheart?” Still he kept thrusting. Pushing me against the headboard even as he drove me crazier and crazier.
“I’m coming.”
“Oh, thank God. Please do. I need you to—”
The orgasm ripped through me. I stiffened even as I cried out.
Cum shot out of me and landed on his chest, my abs, and even a bit on his chin.
Well, okay then. That’s wild. I’d always been so controlled when I got myself off.
Right now, things felt out of control—but in a good way.
Good that he could drive me to this peak of pleasure with so little effort.
Zahir thrust more, held himself still, then let out a growl. He held my gaze even as his face contorted.
Instinctively, I understood he was emptying himself inside me. We were connected in a way that was beyond intimate.
When he collapsed on me, I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. I spread my thighs wider so I could wrap my ankles around his legs. I did everything possible to bring him as close to me as I could.
His labored breaths were harsh against my neck even as I fought to bring my own breathing under control.
I stroked his back—feeling the sweat. The scent of sex permeated the space, and I tried to sort out how I felt about all this.
Yes, I was no longer a virgin. That was a big deal.
Also, I was coming to care for this man deeply.
To the point that I dreaded heading back to Toronto.
Instead, I wanted to find a job here and make a life for myself in Mission City.
Get to know Demetrius and his family better.
Spend all my spare time with Zahir. But would he want that?
Or are you just a nice distraction? A diversion to help him get over his grief?
I hoped not. Yet if my being here helped his healing, that would make me feel better.
He scratched my scalp. “What are you thinking?”
“Nothing.”
He pushed himself up so our gazes clashed.
I swallowed. “Okay. I’m thinking how this is amazing and special and how—” I cut off.
“How…?” He caressed my cheek—as he did so frequently.
“How I don’t want this to end. How I dread going back to Toronto alone after having met so many wonderful people.
After having met you.” I swallowed. “I never believed in fate. Bad luck? Sure. But fate? No way. But I can’t help thinking—what if either of us had chosen a different flight?
Or been five minutes later to the check-in counter?
What if—” I swallowed again. “What if we’d never met? ”
His eyes softened. “I do believe in fate. Marty and I were destined to be together until his dying breath. He also repeated over and over how he wanted me to find someone else. That I had too much love in my heart to merely spend my life grieving. Then he died. Our dog died of a broken heart. I wasn’t certain I could take anymore.
But Marty’s spirit guided me to the shelter, and I met Daphne.
I believe he had a hand in us meeting—if only because I was open to helping a stranger. ”
“You did that. A good deed. Selflessness.”
He blinked. “If you think I’m not getting something out of this—” He cupped my jaw. “It’s not just about the sex. Although that was sort of awesome.” He swallowed. “I should’ve asked—are you okay?”
I smiled and answered with my heart in my throat. “More than okay. You took care of me, and I’m so appreciative.”
“That’s good. Virgins are not my specialty. And I must be heavy. ”
I held him closer. “For a few more minutes, okay?”
“Yep. Then we should have a quick shower, change the sheets, and retrieve poor Daphne.”
“I like that idea. All of that.” This time, I caressed his cheek. “So it’s not just about the sex?”
“It was never just about the sex.” His eyes turned almost steely. “And it’s not just about the puppy—although that’s pretty amazing too. No, this is about connecting. I’ve never felt the way I do with you. Marty—” He winced. “Damn, I keep saying to myself that I shouldn’t bring up my dead husband—”
I pressed my index finger to his lips. “He was part of you for half of your life. Of course you’re going to talk about him. I love that you’re finding ways to honor what you shared. I’m not jealous of a ghost—only worried I might not live up to his legacy.”
Zahir shook his head—dislodging my finger.
“But you don’t have to. You’re your own man.
And what I was trying to say—badly—was that my relationship with Marty was born out of familiarity.
We just knew we were meant to be together.
We weren’t some grand passion or some epic love story.
Just two young men who recognized they could build a life together. ”
I squinted. “Are you saying it’s different with us?”
“That we’re some grand passion? An epic love story? I’d say I do feel we were destined to meet. That I would’ve helped you regardless, but the fact you wore that pin, even if you merely forgot to remove it, was a sign we were meant to find each other. How I feel for you—” He stopped.
I held my breath.
“It’s too soon.” He winced.
“Too soon?” I swallowed. “Please be honest with me, Zahir. I really need to know what you’re thinking. ”
“Oh. Right.” He took a deep breath. “I guess what I’m trying to say is I don’t want you to go back to Toronto.
That I want you to consider making a home in Mission City.
Preferably with me, but it might be too soon for you to contemplate something like that.
I don’t know how you feel about moving into the Fultons’ basement—”
I shook my head. “Too much. They’ve got a life of their own. Very generous to offer and if I didn’t have any alternatives—” I swallowed. “Do I have alternatives?”
“Am I asking you to stay here? Until you get on your feet? Maybe longer?”
He nodded.
“To me, it’s that simple. I can offer you as much as you want. If you just want a safe place to land, you’ve got a bedroom and as much space as you want.”
“And if I want to be your pup and your lover?”
He blinked. “Well, that would be amazing. Truly. I won’t hold you to that forever.”
“And if I want you to hold me to it forever?”
He sighed. “I’d say it’s too soon. And also that I’d be incredibly happy. But you see me as a savior. Perhaps when you get to know the dull man underneath, you might get bored.”
“Never.” I said the word with absolute certainty. “I will never get bored of you. Now…shower and sheets and Daphne.” Because I’m on the verge of telling you that I love you and I don’t want to scare you off — even though I think you feel the same way.
“Yes, in that order. Now, do you want to sleep in your dog bed or—”
“Here. With you. Holding you. Or you holding me. Just…together.”
“All right, Andre. I can do that.”
And so we did.