Chapter 10
Lola
Carter’s voice echoed in the room around us.
I tried to smile, to tell him that I was alright, that I was glad I could help him, but no sound managed to come out of my throat.
This damn barrier kept draining my energy faster and faster.
I should have known that giving my blood to Carter would syphon the last of it.
His eyes were wide and filled with fear as he alternated between shaking my shoulders, holding my face in his hands, and stroking my hair. He kept calling my name, whispering sweet things that I must have been hallucinating as Carter had never been kind to me.
But it felt nice, having him close. Us, not fighting. Him looking at me without all the hatred and disgust that had been filling his eyes since he first saw me.
So nice.
“Lola! Please, tell me what to do. I didn’t mean to—I’m sorry, I didn’t think you—”
He gasped as my hand lifted to cup his cheek.
A drop of water fell on my forehead, bringing overwhelming feelings with it.
Terror. He thought he drained me of all my blood.
I forced a smile, pulling his face closer to mine until our mouth connected.
His lips parted in surprise as my tongue slid in, caressing his soft skin. The kiss was tender. Shy. Scared.
But filled with so much longing that a soft light already shone in the back of my eyes.
“Fuck, we should have dealt with—”
“Shh.”
He sighed against my lips. Who would have thought that Carter would be willingly making out with me on the kitchen floor? Certainly not me nor anyone else who ever saw us interacting in the past.
“I know what she needs,” he said to himself, his thoughts starting to echo in my head. “But can I even give it to her? I’ve never been with anyone before. I’m not good enough. Maybe I should—”
“Ouch!” he hissed as I bit his lower lip. Carter tried to pull his head back, only stopped by my whimper. He growled against my mouth. “What was that for?”
I didn’t answer, kissing him more fiercely, gasping with every wave of energy I stole from the simple kiss. My head wasn’t as dizzy, my muscles not trembling anymore. The boost wouldn’t last long, but it would allow me to hold on a few more days.
“Lola…Tell me what to do. I don’t—I want to help, but I-I don’t know how, I’m—”
“You don’t need to do anything,” I whispered as he released a shuddering breath against my parted lips.
“I want to,” he thought, shifting his hips slightly, our kiss deepening.
“Lola, please. Let me—”
“No, you don’t have to do anything,” I whispered in between kisses.
“But I want to—” He interrupted himself. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself, I could feel his doubts. His anxiety. He was afraid to fuck it up. To do wrong.
“There are other ways you can help me,” I said, searching his eyes for signs he understood. His puzzled look told me everything I needed to know about his lack of sexual experience. “Do you want to?”
His throat bobbed but he nodded, the motion sharp, eager. I sat up to straddle his thighs as he leaned back against the kitchen island, clouded eyes darting between mine, heartbeat erratic against his chest.
My hands were slow as they slid under his T-shirt, lifting it over his head before I pressed my lips to his in another searing kiss.
Soft, warm, perfect golden skin shivered under the tips of my fingers. Carter’s breath stuttered as I kissed my way down his jaw, neck, collarbone, chest, between the rows of his abs, my fingers unbuttoning his faded jeans.
“What are you…You’re the one I should—”
“It doesn’t matter who gives and who receives,” I said, sliding the fabric just low enough to reveal his length, the tip escaping from the waistband of his underwear.
“As long as one of us feels pleasure at the hand of the other”—I paused, sliding the tight boxers down until his cock was free—“or at the mouth,” I continued, leaning to slide my tongue along the underside of his shaft.
“Oh god.” My hand closed at the base and he gasped, closing his eyes and turning his head. “I should be the one pleasuring her.” So much shame in his mind.
I smiled as his energy started sizzling under my skin, steady, like an electric current, warming the empty hole of my soul. Wave after wave of it, following each open-mouthed kiss, each lick, each graze of my teeth.
“Lola, you really don’t have to—oh fu-ck”
My lips tight around the swollen head, I pushed him farther down my mouth, until it hit the back of my throat.
Pressing my tongue along his skin, I started moving up and down, feeling my wet core throbbing as his pleasure grew, as his deep moans echoed in the empty room and his hands tightened into fist next to his thighs, unsure of what to do with them.
I grabbed his hand, placing it on my naked arm as I slowed my pace to release him with a pop, making him shift his hips in response as it fell against his stomach.
“Carter,” I said, lifting my head, dropping a line of kisses along his length.
“Yeah?” His voice was strained, eyes still snapped shut, head thrown back to face the ceiling.
“Why won’t you look at me?”
He did then, lowering his hooded gaze on me.
On my lips sliding on the length of his cock.
On my hand circling his base firmly and giving him a few slow strokes.
“I-I—I’ve never…I don’t know what to do.
” He gasped, shifting his hips on instinct as I sucked on his tip, maintaining eye-contact. “Fuck Lola…”
“Did you like that?”
“Yes.” He nodded, enraptured.
“What about this?”
The sound he made as I took him all the way down my throat was downright sinful.
“Shit. Yes—don’t stop.”
I brought both his hands in my hair and gave him a challenging look as I went up and down his length, taking and releasing every inch of his cock slowly. “More,” he kept thinking, but held himself from thrusting his hips, from following his desires.
So I increased my pace, until his whole body started to shake and shiver with the need to come. “Fuck, I need to hold back. I can’t—finish down her throat. It’s dirty, I—”
“Lola, you can stop now,” he rasped, fingers tightening in my hair, pulling softly. “If you’re feeling better, you—”
His next moan as I fought against his hold to take him deeper made my whole body shudder from the amount of energy it sent.
“Oh god, Lola…I’m— Fuck!”
His cock throbbed against my tongue as his whole body tensed under me and his cum filled my mouth and throat. Loud noises echoed in the room as his wings unfurled behind him, sending a potted plant and a couple of plates crashing on the floor next to us.
He cursed, his breath labored, no doubt watching the effects his own orgasm had on me; the sudden burst of light, the paleness gone from my skin, the brightness back in my eyes.
But I was enthralled by the majestic white feathery wings stretching behind him.
“Lola…” He pulled at my hand to bring my mouth back to his, letting his softening cock fall against his stomach. “You didn’t have to do that, it’s—”
“It’s what, Carter?” I asked, pulling at his soft hair to tilt his head back. “Dirty?”
He tried to look away, red coloring his cheeks. One of his wings shifted as his arm slid around my waist, plastering me to his chest.
“I feed on pleasure, Carter,” I whispered, nipping at his jaw. “Sex. Orgasms. Does that make me dirty?”
He let out a shuddering breath, one of his hands gripping my naked thigh, sliding under the hem of my shorts.
“In a way.” His throat bobbed. “Does it make me dirty that even though I didn’t want to…taint you, the thought of not finishing at your hand—or mouth—brought violent thoughts into my mind?”
I grinned, catching his bottom lip between my teeth to pull softly.
“I’d say it makes you depraved.”
A smile stretched his lips as he kissed me again. “What now?” he asked.
I thought about it. The fact that my blood somehow quieted the voices in his head.
Voices that may have been responsible for his bad behavior since I arrived.
The fact that he looked terrified at the thought that I’d go dormant, enough to go over his initial “repulsion” of me and give me what I needed.
“Now, I’m going to go back to the apartment,” I said, heart constricting at the confusion and hurt on his face.
“What? Why?”
His hold tightened possessively and my shoulders dropped. “Because I don’t trust us, alone together for a long time. Because this, tonight, was good, and I don’t want things to go back to how they used to be. I’m tired of fighting all the damn time.”
“I don’t want to fight either, I—”
“Carter,” I cut him off. “I—we can make this work. Take things slow, start again? Starting by being friends or something.”
He frowned, searching my face. “Friends.”
“The way it started between us, the way you acted. It hurt me. Even more when I learned you were my mate and you still decided to push me around and insult me. And I…I need time. We need time to be better to each other.”
“Friends,” he muttered again, turning his face to look away. “Do friends do things like we just did?”
Did they? I guess some of them did, even though my experience with friends was probably as weak as his. My only reference at the moment was Marcus, and I would not go there.
“I don’t—”
“I’m not asking you to move in with me so we can get married and have kids,” Carter scoffed, rolling his eyes. “I’m just saying it would be more practical. You’d be just a bite away if my sanity ever slips away again, and I would be at your disposal for any energy related issues.”
Oh. Hell no.
“I’ll pass,” I said, forcing a smile, standing up while trying to avoid touching his wings. “I’m not letting you use an arrangement to control me like Arc did. I’ll come by if you need a bite or if my energy gets too low, but that’s about all I’m willing to offer you.”
In a swift motion of his shoulder, he retracted his wings, standing up as quickly as I did while tucking himself back in his underwear and buttoning his jeans back up.
“So we went from being—whatever we were to friendly…booty-calls?”
I thought about it for a minute before shrugging with a nod. “That’s about it.”
“Great.” He smiled, but his voice had an edge to it. “Well, don’t let me hold you longer than necessary, you know the way out.” He pushed me out of the kitchen, turning around toward the fridge as soon as I stepped into the corridor. “See you around—pal.”
Something stirred inside my stomach as I climbed the stairs to pack my bag—for the second time of the day—and get ready to go back to my apartment.
Carter was obviously back to being mad at me. But I wasn’t sure why. What happened tonight was nice, but it didn’t mean anything.
Right?