Chapter 40
Lola
Dimitri let out a dry chuckle as he wiped the small line of blood from his cheekbone. “So, that’s how you want to settle this,” he said. “Fine. Go ahead.”
I flipped the dagger and attacked him again, this time swiping the blade. He dodged, stepping back and to the side.
“How are you so mad at me?” he asked. “I mean, I’ve always warned you. You knew I’d do anything for you even if it meant going against your other mates or yourself.”
His hand closed around my wrist as I missed his face again and he made me spin, holding my hand behind my back and plastering me to his front.
“He shouldn’t even breathe, yet I’m trying to keep him alive.
I could have ripped it off like a bandaid and left him to rot,” he continued, whispering in my ear, and I hated my treacherous body for responding to his proximity as a shiver of awareness slithered up my spine.
“Let it go, zhizn moya. We could have your soul back!”
“Not at the cost of my mate dying,” I gritted out, trying to free my arm.
“That’s what you don’t seem to understand,” he said as I reached for another dagger with my other hand. “Whatever the cost, I’ll pay it. Even if it’s someone’s life.”
I sliced his forearm and he stumbled back with a hiss. “What about my life?” I asked. “What if I die and go down there, searching for my soul myself?”
Dimitri arched a brow and scoffed. “You think it’s that easy?
” I hoped it was…I didn’t have much more time anyway.
“If for some reason you die and go to Hell without your soul, you’re trapped there.
You’ll be sent to Asmodeus and sold to the Prince of Hell whose bid is the highest, with barely any memory of your life on earth, following in the footsteps of the Succubi and Incubi who were created for this specific purpose. ”
My mouth dried out. “How would you know that?”
“Because I’ve been to Hell to try and get your soul back myself.
I’ve seen how things work down there. How my father rules his desolate land.
The Succubi he keeps as his personal whores and flings at his parties for his guests to enjoy.
Without your soul or at least a piece of it, that’s the fate that awaits you. ”
He dodged another of my attacks but he didn’t anticipate my foot kicking at his thigh and nearly fell backward.
“We could go together,” I tried. “You could look after me even without my soul! You said you went there, it means you can do it again.”
Dimitri let out a dry chuckle. “Trust me, Wrath doesn’t want me there, but even if he did, I’d still just be a guest. I wouldn’t have any power over what happens, even less over the way they’ll treat you.”
I groaned, throwing a punch that he easily deflected. My limbs were growing weaker…
“There has to be another way,” I insisted, throwing one of the two daggers at his face. He moved to the side but frowned, clearly annoyed by my relentless attacks. “I won’t let you kill or even hurt him again.”
He was done defending himself and lunged at me, pushing my back against the wall and growling at my face, twisting my hand enough that I had to let go of my second blade.
“You don’t even know him!”
“It’s not about choosing! I don’t want to fucking choose, but you’re forcing me to!”
“I. Chose. You.” He insisted on each word. “I chose your soul over your mate. Over a mistake that should never have been born! A mistake you exchanged less than a thousand real words with!”
I threw my head forward, hitting him in the nose. I saw stars, but despite his grunt of pain, he didn’t let go of me. “That’s even worse! It only means that all the reasons I’ve ever been mad at him were in fact your fucking fault!”
I managed to get one hand loose and swiped at his face, leaving four deep scratches on his skin. He let out a frustrated roar as he let go of his hold, only for me to grab another dagger at my back and stab him through his side.
All the air left my lungs as the whole room plunged in dark red smoke and I was sent flying back, my head hitting the hard wall with a sickening crack.
“Hurry,” Aghen said as he pulled me by the arm. “I have a plan. We’ll get you out of this Maiden thing. Father will see reason, and name you Heir.”
“Aghen, wait.” I stopped, fighting his hold and he turned around, eyes pleading. “I’ve heard father and mother talk many times. She won’t let him. This is going to happen, we need to make our peace with it.”
“We don’t have to! I’ve met this guy, and he said he could see the future. He saw you being the Shard Carrier.”
I rolled my eyes. “Stop believing every person you meet. No one can see the future.”
He stepped closer to me, grabbing me by the shoulders, his face and eyes desperate as he said, “Trust me. We just need to talk to him. He’ll see reason.”
“What’s going on?” Dimitri said as he arrived behind me.
Aghen’s eyes widened before he pulled on my arms again. “Let’s go, Ania! You can bring him too. If you explain he’s your mate, they’ll have to accept it!”
The look on my mother’s face as we stepped inside and Aghen begged our father to change his mind said it all. She didn’t care. It wasn’t going to happen. They’d cast Dimitri out, send me to the Dragon Clan, and make Aghen the next Shard Carrier in the upcoming year.
But I saw something in my father’s eyes.
Regrets.
It was still here after the fury was gone. Still here when he impaled himself on the sword I took at Dimitri’s hip to protect him from my father’s attack. Still here as the light in his multicolored eyes died out and Aghen yelled as his whole body turned to ashes.
Our mother was screaming and I was frozen on my spot, Dimitri holding me from behind to prevent my legs from giving out.
I had killed my father. Murdered him.
“Ania!”
My eyes widened and I cried as a flaring light dug into my chest, burning my skin, my lungs, my heart.
“No!” my mother screamed from the back of the room, but the sound was muffled by the ringing in my ears.
I fell to my knees, gasping for air as the light and pain slowly dimmed. My brother stood in front of me, eyes wide, before he whispered, “I’m so sorry,” and ran away, slamming the door behind him.
I looked down at myself as Dimitri moved to place himself in front of me, protecting me from my mother’s wrath.
Blood. So much of my father’s blood on my dress. On my hands. A burnt patch that looked like sizzling embers in the center of my chest.
What had I done?
My eyes blinked open and squinted, struggling to see through the thick smoke. Carter’s grunts of pain were unbearable and I forced my weak legs to stand up, wobbling my way blindly toward him.
“Carter,” I croaked, but even I struggled to hear my own voice.
A bloody hand came around my throat, preventing my fall and lifting me off the ground.
“What are you doing?” Dimitri growled, pushing me back against the wall, his eyes roaming my body furiously. “You’re not playing fair.”
I looked down at myself. Pale green dress. My father’s blood. Burnt chest. Long wavy auburn hair reaching my waist. I focused on getting back to my most recent appearance, but it made me feel even dizzier.
“What have I done…” I repeated, the memory playing vividly in my mind.
“Anastasia,” he whispered, searching my eyes.
Dimitri always struggled and took a long time to use my new names, choosing one of his many nicknames or my birth one most of the time. Before I changed to Lola, I was Lily, and it had taken him living with Blake and I for a couple of months before it took.
“Zhizn moya, please…Please, listen to me.”
It required a tremendous amount of effort to lift my head and stare into his eyes. He was terrified. Again. Was it what he feared then? When we talked last time? That I’d reject him because of what he was doing behind my back? For torturing my mate, his brother?
“I want you to have your soul back,” he whispered, his lips inches from mine. “For you to be able to bind it to all of your mates. For us to be full. Is that so hard to understand?”
I stared at him. At the way his eyes had softened even though his wound was still bleeding at his side.
“Are you doing this for me or for yourself?” I asked and he reared back. “Hoping the madness will recede? Hoping it’ll cure you?”
“Is that what you think? That I've been doing all this for selfish reasons?” My silence gave him the answer he needed. “The madness is irreversible, and I’ve come to terms with it for a long time,” he answered. “I’m doing this for you. For all of us.”
“At the cost of one of our lives? You’re not paying the price. He is.”
Dimitri shook his head. “If I wanted to kill him, he’d be dead already. I’m trying to find a way to get the piece of your soul while keeping him alive.”
“You’re torturing him, Dimitri! Keeping him caged like an Animal!”
“You have to understand, zhizn moya…I swore to you I’d protect your soul. I told you, time and time again, that I’d sacrifice anything and anyone for your freedom. I don’t care that the world and its people burn up in flames as long as you walk through the ashes.”
I held back my tears, searching his face for a sign. Something to indicate he wasn’t entirely mad. Anything…
I found nothing but resolve.
I lifted a hand, my throat clogging with unshed tears and cupped the side of his face.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered against his lips before leaning in for a kiss.
He shivered against me as our tongue met, one of his arms snaking around my waist to bring me closer to him.
I kissed him like it’d be the last time. Like in a few minutes, I wouldn’t be here anymore anyway and he would have to give up his damn quest. To free Arc even if I didn’t have the time to. He groaned against my mouth as the tear finally escaped my eye and slowly fell down my cheek.
I slipped my hand down along the curve of his ass and felt my dagger at his belt. I bit his bottom lip as my hand closed around the hilt.
“I’m so sorry,” I repeated.
Carter’s grunts grew louder and Arc’s chain rattled in his cell.
Dimitri’s kisses drifted to my jaw, my neck, and he stilled. I stopped moving too, certain he’d noticed my hand bringing the blade closer.
“What is—no…” he whispered. “No. No, no, no!”
I gasped as he pushed back my hair, revealing Amyntas’ little gift.
“Fuck!” he screamed, one of his hands fisting his hair. “You shouldn’t have come here!” he repeated again.
He inspected the wound as I lifted my hand higher, aiming for his heart from behind his back. Another tear rolled down and Dimitri’s eyes turned back to me. He brought both his hands to cup my face.
“I’ll fix it. I’ll find a way, you won’t—”
His eyes widened as a sob tore free from my throat. I pushed the dagger to the hilt and he stumbled back, eyes like red pools filled with betrayal.
“You—”
“I’m sorry…” His knees buckled, trying to reach for the blade in his back and failing. “I can’t let you do that. I can’t—can’t let you hurt or kill him.”
He’d be unconscious in a matter of seconds or minutes. Long enough for me to free Arc. To call for potential back up. To maybe die.
His eyes never left mine as he nearly collided with the table at the center of the room.
“I’m sorry,” I repeated through my too tight throat. “I love you.” And I did. No matter what he’d done. I hoped that, once I was in Hell, I wouldn’t forget about him. About the good things he did. About the way he had loved me unconditionally.
The door burst open and a barely conscious Marcus barged in. His eyes took one second to assess the situation in the room before he grabbed Dimitri’s head and snapped it to the side with a sickening crack.
Carter fell to the ground and groaned before his gaze met my teary one.