Chapter 4
Bailey’s statement weighed heavily on his mind as Duke dug into his food.
She was beautiful inside and out. The more he got to know her, the more it became obvious.
Deep down he knew it was one of the main things they’d have to work through to have anything real.
While he had intended to keep the evening light. That was no longer possible.
“Do you usually not feel normal?” he asked.
She paused in mid-bite before continuing to chew. Once she’d finished, she swallowed hard before clearing her throat.
“It depends on who I’m with,” she admitted. “There are only a handful of people in my life that don’t make me feel as if I’m constantly being judged by them.”
“In what way?” he probed.
“The fact that I’m a jeans and T-shirt kind of girl instead of a dress and heels.
I know it may not seem like a big deal to you but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard someone whisper that I’d be more attractive if I remembered I was a girl.
” She paused as she shook her head before sitting up in her chair.
“What they didn’t realize was that I didn’t want that.
I never did. I enjoyed spending time with my dad.
Trust me, you can’t change the oil in a frilly dress. It will never work out well.”
Duke chuckled even though he knew she was making a joke at her own expense. “What about your mom? You never talk about her.”
Bailey tensed as her entire demeanor changed. “That’s for a reason. I don’t want to speak about her. I hope you can respect that. Maybe one day but not right now.”
Not wanting to push too hard, he relented. “I won’t push but I do hope that you will trust me enough one day to talk to me about it.”
“I hope so, too,” Bailey whispered. “But it’s painful. I don’t know if you’ve ever experienced anything in life that it physically hurts to talk about. This is that for me.”
Instinctively, Duke rubbed his chest. Her words struck home big time.
“Strangely enough, I have,” he replied.
Memories assailed him and he tried not to get lost in them. He tried not to let his thoughts overwhelm him but it was hard. Realizing what he needed to do, he lowered his hand.
“When I was ten years old. My dad and I were in a car wreck that killed him instantly and left me clinging to life. I had to have several surgeries. Mainly because of the blunt force trauma to my chest. It all happened so fast that I don’t recall what happened.”
He reached for his glass of water and took a sip, ignoring the small tremor in his hand. “There was just the squeal of tires and then a hard impact. Then I woke in a hospital three weeks later with tubes everywhere.”
Bailey’s gasped before reaching across the table to grab his hand. “Duke...I’m sorry. That’s horrible.”
“Life changed after that point. I had to have several more surgeries over the next couple of years to repair all of the damage. It also meant that I couldn’t have the life of a typical kid.
I had to wear a chest plate for a long time to keep any freak accidents from happening.
Even once it came off, I had to be careful.
Any unexpected impact to my chest could send me into cardiac arrest.” He shook his head.
“Try explaining to an active boy why he can’t do all of the things his friends are doing.
I didn’t always make it easy on my mom but she did the best that she could. ”
He leaned back in his chair with a smile.
“In a way, I think that’s why I became so close to Aunt Josie.
You would never be able to tell that she and my mom are sisters.
They are like night and day. At first, I thought it might have been the accident because I remember my mom being more carefree before it happened but Aunt Josie said mom has always been the way that she is. ”
When he realized that Bailey had stopped eating, he paused. “I didn’t mean to ruin your meal.”
She glanced at her half-empty plate before looking back at him. “You didn’t. I’m full. I promise. I overdid it, to be honest.”
“Okay. Let’s get this cleared away then go into the living room. We’ll be more comfortable there.”
She nodded and they removed everything from the table, put away the leftovers, and washed the dishes before retreating to the family room. He was glad when she joined him on the couch, snuggling up close to him.
“Anyway, I became close to my aunt. Mainly because it was freeing to be here on the farm. She and my uncle didn’t coddle me. They didn’t make me feel different. I know now that they still kept me safe, but it never felt like it.”
His words trailed off as he collected his thoughts. It had been a long time since he thought about everything that happened. But what he hoped was that his words were enough to explain to her why he was so drawn to her. That he did understand her.
“So, that’s why you have the scar?” she asked. “I saw it earlier when you had your shirt off.”
He nodded. “Yes. I still have to be careful.”
“How do you stay in such good shape?” she probed.
He grinned. “You think I’m sexy?”
She frowned and hit his arm. “I didn’t say that.”
“You don’t have to. I can tell. But to answer your question I can work out as long as I’m safe. Nothing that could result in an unexpected impact on my chest.”
Her eyes widened. “So you can’t play sports?”
“No. I never have. Too dangerous.”
Tears filled her eyes as she looked at him. He could tell in that moment that she understood. When the first tear rolled down her cheek, he reached out and cupped her face in the palm of his hand.
“Hey, I didn’t tell you that story to make you sad.”
“I know,” she whispered. “But I get it now. Here I was thinking that we are complete opposites. Yes, we have some differences but we also have a lot in common.” She closed her eyes and lowered her head to his shoulder.
“Thank you for sharing your story. I will keep my word and share mine but not tonight.” She paused.
“I need some time to collect my thoughts. It will be very difficult for me to talk about.”
“I can live with that,” he replied. “When you are ready, let me know. Until then, let’s watch a movie.”
“Are you sure? It’s late and I know you have to get up early.”
He nodded not wanting to give up any time with her. “Yes. I’ll be fine. That’s what coffee is for. As long as I get at least six hours I’ll be good.”
She cuddled close to him. “Okay then. What are we watching?”
He picked up the remote and found an action movie before pulling her close again. They were halfway through the movie before he realized she’d drifted off. Selfishness made him wait until the move ended to wake her.
He waited until he was sure she was alert before allowing her to get behind the wheel to drive home. Before he closed the car door, he leaned down and pressed his lips to her briefly. When he pulled back, he held her gaze with his.
“Bailey, the next time you come over. Bring a bag to stay the night.”
Her eyes widened briefly then she nodded. “Okay.”
“Be careful going home. Call me once you’re there to let me know you’ve made it,” he requested before closing the door.
He waited until her taillights were no longer in view before going back inside and locking up. Just as he’d finished brushing his teeth, his phone rang. Recognizing the ringtone he’d assigned to Bailey, he answered quickly.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he greeted.
“Hi. Just letting you know that I made it home,” she replied.
“Good. Get some rest. Pleasant dreams.”
“Goodnight,” she whispered.
He disconnected the call and stood there for a moment. Then he grinned. He didn’t know how he’d become lucky enough for this to be his life but he was grateful and didn’t plan to waste a moment of it.