33. Laurel
Laurel
I DRUMMED MY fingers against the steering wheel as I stared at the front door of Wilhelmina’s, and for the first time ever I was nervous to go inside.
I’d been thinking about this all night, ever since Jake and I returned home.
But as I sat here now running through all of the things I wanted to say, I wondered if any of them were enough.
How did you tell a man that seventeen years ago you had his son but then made a deal where you couldn’t tell him about it? It was an impossible conversation. There were no words. None that would soften the blow, anyway.
I closed my eyes and thought of the conversation I’d had yesterday with Jake. He’d been pretty quiet when we got home, still processing all that he’d learned. But I could tell his curiosity was starting to get the better of him when he began to ask some questions.
How did you two meet? What was Noah like as a kid? Am I like him in any way?
I’d answered every question and then some, and my only hope now was that, after the initial shock and anger he would no doubt feel, Noah somehow managed to find a way to accept Jake and eventually meet him. After all, this was my doing, not Jake’s, and he shouldn’t be punished for that.
With newfound determination, I shoved open the car door and made my way up the front steps, and the second I stepped inside, I was bombarded with the delicious aroma of baked goods.
I wasn’t here for comfort food, however, even if the thought of a freshly made cinnamon roll sounded like heaven right now.
A quick look at the check-in desk told me that Willa must still be in the kitchen. So I snuck over, and was about to “hack in” and get Noah’s room number, when the sound of someone clearing their throat made me snatch my hands away from the keyboard.
“Huh. I didn’t know you were helping out here this morning. Is the winery not open? Or are you just looking to make a little extra cash this month?”
I rolled my eyes and let out a sigh. Willa knew good and well what I was looking for. I’d bet my actual next check on it.
“Miss? Excuse me, miss? Could you please tell me how many rooms are still left this weekend?”
“Would you cut it out?”
“I’d really like a room with a view, or maybe one that’s next door to the newest Chamberlin brother to come into town.” Willa tapped the side of her cheek. “What’s his name again?”
I arched an eyebrow. “Okay, you win. Can you please tell me which suite Noah’s in?”
“I can, but he’s not in there.” She paused and then frowned. “Actually, I’m kind of surprised he managed to drag himself off to work already. He was hammered last night.”
“Hammered? As in drunk?”
“As in Ryan and I had to go and pick him up midway through Monopoly, and you know how I get about leaving my properties unattended.”
I did—she was fiercely protective about her purchases. Especially if she owned Boardwalk.
“Did he, um, say why he was drinking?”
“Yeah,” Willa said with a smile. “Apparently you having a kid flipped his oh shit switch, and, you know, he decided to numb it with some whiskey. I’m sure he’s processed it by now, but boy was he shocked. You know how some guys get.”
“Right.” I pressed my fingers to my forehead and tried to ease the throbbing headache I could feel coming on. If Noah had been that upset by just the idea of me and Jake, I couldn’t begin to imagine his reaction when he found out the rest of it.
“I’ve, uh…” I pointed to the front door and came out from behind the desk in a kind of daze. “I’ve got to go.”
“Laurel?” All of the humor and sarcasm from earlier had left Willa’s voice as she came over to me and took my hands in hers. “Laurel? Are you okay?”
My breathing began to come a little faster, and her living room began to spin as the last few days caught up with me and all my thoughts blurred into one.
“Maybe you should come and sit down.”
I shook my head. “No. I need to go. I need to go and find Noah.”
“I don’t think you should be driving anywhere right now. I want you to sit down and let me get you a drink of water and some ice. Then, if I feel like you’re okay, I’ll let you go.”
Okay, fair point. I probably shouldn’t be driving if things were spinning around my head. I took a seat and closed my eyes, trying to calm myself, and by the time she got back, I felt a little better.
Willa held out the water, and I took it without argument, then she sat down beside me. “Want to tell me what that was all about?”
I swallowed and nodded. “I do. But I can’t.”
Willa narrowed her eyes. “At least tell me you’re okay.”
“Yes.”
“This has to do with Noah, right? If it’s about the way he acted over Jake—”
“It’s not. I mean, it is, but not for the reasons you think.” I stood up, knowing I needed to leave before I said something else. “Thank you. I feel much better now. I’m good to drive.”
Willa stood and took the glass from me. “Are you sure? Because you can stay as long as you like.”
“I’m fine. I promise.” I squeezed one of her hands then made my way across the room for the front door.
“Laurel?”
“Yes?” I looked back to see Willa watching me with a curious expression on her face.
“What ever the reason is, he’ll come around about Jake.”
My heart just about stopped.
Did she…? Could she…?
No, there was no way she knew what I had to say to Noah. She just meant he’d understand about the child I’d had not long after he left. If only that was it.
With a final wave, I headed out to my car. When I slid inside, I put in a call to the winery. Maybe I could get him on the phone before I arrived. Ask him to meet me somewhere more private.
But when the phone connected, it wasn’t Noah who answered, but his mother.
“Emily? Hi.” Damn it . “It’s Laurel here, and I was, um, wondering if Noah was already in yet? He wanted to try some…new cheese with one of the Chardonnays, and I heard they had some over at the deli that just opened up.”
I dropped my face in my palm and silently cursed my bad luck. Why did I feel the need to come up with that horrible lie?
“New cheese?”
Oh God, this was ridiculous. “Yes, uh, is he there? I can’t remember the name.”
“Actually, no. You two must’ve just crossed paths. He told me he was going to your place this morning so the two of you could go to the local farmers’ market.”
He did? So that meant he was— Oh shit .
“I’ll text you over his cell number. That way you can call and make sure you don’t miss each other again.”
“That’d be great, Emily. Thanks.”
I ended the call, and not a second later a text from Jake popped up: Noah’s here.
I didn’t bother waiting for Noah’s cell number.
Hell no. I stepped on the gas and headed home.
I made it there in record time, and when I turned down the street and saw his rental parked outside my house, my stomach dropped.
Noah was inside somewhere with Jake, and I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about that.
I pulled in behind his vehicle and climbed out on unsteady legs, then, like some sort of weirdo creeper, I decided to go around to the back door and let myself in.
I was making my way along the balcony, and up the side of the house, when I spotted them through the kitchen window.
And the sight was enough to stop me in my tracks.
There, sitting at my kitchen table, were father and son for the first time ever. My breath got caught somewhere in the back of my throat and my heart swelled with pride and, yes, love.
The first thing I noticed was just how awkward they both looked.
Noah was at one end and Jake at the other, and both of them had their arms crossed over their wide chests.
The second thing was that they were the exact same height, even sitting down.
They were even slumped in a similar fashion as they faced off.
Jake’s fair hair was in complete contrast to Noah’s, but the eyes? Seeing the two of them like this—so close and yet so clearly wary of the other—the resemblance was striking.
I stood there for a minute watching the two of them engage in a stilted conversation, and it wasn’t until my cheeks became damp that I realized I was crying.
I’d waited so long for this moment, wanted it so much. I made a mental snapshot of all that I was seeing then reached for the back door and stepped inside to join them.