Chapter 11
Dot took a deep breath, and she walked into the restaurant, right on time as always. Joanne’s was hopping. It gave her a lift as she looked for Ryan.
He waved from a corner table and stood when she arrived. He looked handsome and relaxed, and Dot tried to put the Tiffany visit out of her mind. Maybe he was there helping a friend pick out a ring for someone else? That could be it.
That was probably not it.
“You look beautiful.” He kissed her cheek, pulled out her chair, and when she was settled, he pushed it in for her. “I put in an order for meatballs and the calamari to start us off.”
“Thank you. My faves.” She tried to sound cheerful, but her stomach had been in knots since the Tiffany affair.
They settled into catch-up and chitchat. Ryan’s sister and brother-in-law just announced she was pregnant; the family’s first grandchild would be born in May. His work was fine, the market up, then down, but mostly up.
It all felt normal. And easy. Maybe she’d incorrectly read this entire situation.
Until Ryan suggested a weekend away.
“Hey—I got us a reservation at the Rose Hill Vineyard for next weekend. Won’t that be great?”
Rose Hill Vineyard. How did she know that place?
“Oh. I . . .”
“You’re free next weekend, right?”
She tried to buy herself some time and couldn’t think of a convincing reason that would prevent her from going away with him for a weekend. So instead she said, “Yes. Of course. It sounds nice.”
“Oh yeah. It’s so nice. Super expensive, too,” he said, glancing down at his menu. “It’ll be my half birthday.” Then he cocked his head and raised his eyebrows at her as he reached for his beer.
Then it hit her. Rose Hill was where his college buddy Jordan had proposed to his girlfriend (also named Jordan) over the summer. The Jordans were getting married this Christmas at The Plaza.
Aha, she thought. His half birthday was a sign.
Ryan always said he wanted to be married in his twenty-eighth year.
She wasn’t great at math, but simple arithmetic she could do.
Her mind raced with flashes of him shopping for rings at Tiffany.
Her stomach knotted thinking about how to get out of going to the vineyard. What could be her excuse?
She didn’t have to think of one. The conversation took a turn as he abruptly changed the subject.
“By the way, I think you’ll be glad to know I’m finally a little interested in politics. We had an all-hands meeting on the trading floor with the governor from Virginia. Cool guy. Might run for president one day. He was so great. I’d vote for him.”
“Wait. What?” she asked, knowing exactly who the governor of Virginia was.
“Especially with his economic policies. He’d be great for the market,” he replied.
“But there’s more to life than the market, Ryan.” Dot was shocked.
Ryan held up his hands defensively. “Hey, hey—calm down. I just thought he had some good ideas.”
“Oh really. Like what?” she asked, clearly skeptical.
“Well, he talked about how they have a generous state benefit for stay-at-home moms there.”
Dot suddenly set down her fork and stared at him, unbelieving of what he’d just said. “Is that what you want for your future wife?”
“Isn’t that what most women want?” he asked, slightly mocking her. “To be able to relax and raise the kids, not have to worry about anything.”
“Oh Ryan . . . you think raising children is relaxing? My gosh, you sound like . . . like . . .”
“Okay, forget I said anything.” He tried to surrender but the damage was done.
But Dot could not forget. “You sound like a Republican.”
THE MOOD SOURED and they ate quickly as the rest of their conversation took a turn to the terse.
Leaving Joanne, Ryan fell into step with Dot toward the Buckley. As they got closer, Ryan grabbed her hand. She tensed.
“Can I come upstairs?” He searched her eyes, but she looked away.
“I don’t think so, Ryan. Not tonight. I’m sorry.”
“Look. I won’t vote for him. I promise!” He tried to lighten the moment. “Come here.”
He leaned down for a kiss, but she turned her head. He brought her head into his chest. He smelled so good. But she stayed rigid and wouldn’t relax into him.
She gently pulled away.
“Good night, Ryan.”
Reluctantly, he let go of her. “Look, I’m not sure what’s changed. But I won’t push it,” he said. “Good night, Dot.”
He stood and watched her head in as Albert opened the door for her.
“Mr. Montgomery. A pleasure to see you as always,” Albert said, being discreet as usual.
“You too, Albert.”
Dot peeked back to see Ryan standing outside, watching the door close, no doubt wondering what was wrong with her. After a few moments, he turned and headed down Central Park West to catch the train back to his apartment.
She started up the stairs, but then suddenly, she was back out the door of the Buckley and running down the street.
Just as Ryan was heading down the subway station’s stairs, she called his name.
“Ryan!” She was sprinting in her flats and her hair had come out of its knot.
“Dot?”
“Ryan, I . . . I can’t do this,” she panted, trying to catch her breath.
“You can’t do what?”
“You’re a great guy. And you’ll be perfect for someone someday. But that someone. . . . that someone is not going to be me.”
She met his eyes and held them.
“Dot, come on, you can’t be serious. Is this because I said I’d vote for the governor of Virginia?” he scoffed. “That’s ridiculous.”
“It’s not just that. It’s been building for a while. I think we were initially a good match—the apps figured that out. But algorithms don’t know our hearts and our dreams. And I just think we want very different things out of life. I’m sorry, Ryan.”
“Well, this sucks.”
“I’m sorry. Please take care, Ryan.”
“Like you care, Dot. And to think, I was going to ask you . . .”
But Dot couldn’t stand to hear it and turned and walked back to her building. She folded her arms against her chest and braced against the cold. Albert had watched her run down the street. He was there with a hug for her.
“Aw, Dorothy. Did you just break up with him?”
She nodded, wiping away her tears.
“There, there.” He patted her back. “You did the right thing, dear. You followed your heart. And there’s nothing wrong with that.” He handed her his handkerchief.
“I feel terrible.”
“It would have been worse if you’d kept it going even if you knew it wasn’t right. This way you can both get on with your lives and find your special someone.”
She used the handkerchief to wipe away her tears. “What am I doing, Albert?” He knew she meant with her life in general, not just in that moment.
“Living.” He put his hands on both her shoulders and made her look him in the eye. “You’re going to be fine. You’re an educated woman, living in the best city in the best country in the world. There’s no need to worry about what’s next. What’s next will be what it’s meant to be.”
“Thank you.” She took a staggered breath. “How do you always know what to say?”
“It comes with age. Trust me, everything will all look better tomorrow.”
She smiled weakly, then slowly took the stairs up to her apartment. When she closed the door, she leaned against it and let herself cry.
Then, after a restless night where she tossed and turned in her bed, Dot thought of how Albert was right—everything did seem better in the morning.
Two things struck her.
First, she’d woken ready to stop worrying so much about her love life and to start focusing on her career.
And second, she had a big idea of what she wanted to do next with her career.