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11. She Received an Apology

She Received an Apology

Gwen

“Why do you hate me?” Marnie wailed. “I thought we were friends!”

She staggered into the kitchen as if I’d dragged her through a three-hour bootcamp instead of a ten-minute workout video.

I could only shake my head. “Mar, you can’t be this unfit.”

She collapsed in a heap on the kitchen stool. “You underestimate me, babe. My body’s a work of art. Au naturel . I wasn’t built for all this exercise nonsense.” She sniffed her armpit and made a face. “Yeah, I definitely wasn’t built for it.”

I wandered over to the pantry and searched for a distraction. Tapping my fingernails on the door, I asked, “You want anything?”

“There’s no way I’ll be able to keep anything down until my core temperature has returned to chill-out mode.”

“You did one ten-minute workout.”

“Hey! Judgmental fit person! I want to remind you that you never mentioned exercise when you asked me over for moral support.”

Disappointed with the snacks in the pantry, I walked back to the counter and raided the leftover banana bread I’d stress-baked the night before. I shoved a bit in my mouth.

“What else were we supposed to do?” I gobbled up another bite. “We were going stir-crazy. We needed to do something.”

“We?” Marnie’s mouth dropped open in disbelief. “We were going stir-crazy? I’m no legal guru like you, but I object to that statement, Your Honor.”

I dodged her objection by stuffing the rest of the banana bread in my mouth.

Okay, the “we” part was a stretch. Marnie would’ve been perfectly happy lounging on the couch, reading trashy magazines and gossiping about her new neighbor’s rather vocal sex life.

I was the one too restless to sit still.

Waiting for Toby to bring Noah home was excruciating.

My eyes stayed glued to my phone, constantly checking the time and scrolling for new messages. Toby had sent plenty of cute photos of Noah and their adventures around the park. It hadn’t helped. My nerves stayed twisted tight.

Not because I was worried about Noah. He was safe with his daddy. No, I’d bitten my fingernails down to nothing because every minute ticking by was another minute closer to Toby coming home.

My first face-to-face conversation with him since the day had been awkward, to say the very least.

Hours earlier, when I hauled open the front door, Toby’s face had lit up. “Morning, doll—”

“Don’t you dare call me that,” I spat.

“But I’ve always called you—”

“Cute nickname privileges ended when you stuck your tongue down your assistant’s throat.”

Toby’s wounded puppy dog eyes didn’t soften my heart. He was still scrambling to take the baby bag I shoved at him when I held out Noah.

“He’s had his breakfast,” I said, “and he’s just been changed.”

“You sportin’ a clean tooshie, NoBo?” Toby blew a raspberry on his belly, the delighted baby squeal almost dragging a smile out of me.

Toby had no difficulty smiling. He turned to me with a lopsided grin. “Permission to pay you a compliment?”

“Denied.”

He quickly masked his disappointment by holding Noah in front of my face, and putting on a silly voice, he said, “You’re as pretty as a princess, Mama.”

Toby waved Noah’s chubby hand to say goodbye.

The end.

And I absolutely dreaded round two.

I wandered aimlessly around the kitchen. Maybe I should tidy up? I could wipe down the benches again. How much time would that waste?

Marnie knew me too well because she asked, “What time is Dickface bringing Noah back from the park?”

I shrugged. “Later. I don’t care what time.” I grabbed the kitchen sponge and started scrubbing invisible spots in the sink.

“So, not caring is why you’ve been checking your watch every two seconds since I got here. Ba-bow. Try again.”

“I’m fine.”

“Mmhmm.”

My furious scrubbing only paused when the doorbell rang.

Marnie twisted around on the stool. “You expecting someone else today?”

“It’s probably Toby.”

“He rings the doorbell?” Confused, she scrunched her nose.

I sighed. “Yeah.”

“I thought you didn’t bother changing the locks?”

“I didn’t. Toby insists on ringing the stupid bell. He said if he hasn’t earned the right to live here, he needs to be invited in like everyone else.”

“Classic Tobes.” Marnie hobbled off the stool with a groan. “Should I sign for your treasure at the door and tell Toby to rack off? Or can he come in?”

Great question.

Anger twisted my insides. I didn’t want to see Toby again, but we had at least seventeen years of co-parenting ahead of us, and I’d promised myself I’d try to be the bigger person… Somehow.

I tossed the sponge in the sink. When I swallowed my anger, my pride sank with it. I told Marnie, “I’ll handle it,” but it was probably wishful thinking.

When I got to the front door, my hand wouldn’t turn the knob. The doorbell rang again. I didn’t let the noise rattle me. I counted— one, two, three —dragging in breaths and buying myself a few seconds more.

Mature. Rational. The bigger person . I can do this.

My plan flew out the window when I pulled open the door. I was greeted with Toby’s huge grin and a glimpse of Noah, conked out in his baby carrier, before a bunch of white roses were shoved under my nose.

“What are those?” I demanded.

Toby’s grin grew wider. “Dunno. Unicorn feathers?”

Fabulous . The jokester was out. Toby must’ve been feeling as awkward as I was. “And what do you suppose I do with them?” Jamming those flowers where the sun didn’t shine was a great place to start.

“You could try a vase. I’ve heard rumors flowers like water. I’m really not sure.” He pointed to the sleeping baby strapped to his chest. “You see, it was all NoBo’s idea. He insisted I buy them.”

I folded my arms and stared at Toby, deadpan. “Noah insisted?”

“Uh-huh. When I took him to the park, he wouldn’t stop blabbing about how pretty you are and how I needed to buy you something nice. There was no time to go on the swing. It was roses this… roses that…” Toby exaggerated an eye roll. “You know how he is sometimes— so pushy.”

If he thought he could win me over with his schoolboy antics, he was dead wrong. I used to think we were perfectly balanced. I was the grumpy nerd. He was the lovable dork. We worked. Now, Toby’s joking around just annoyed the shit out of me.

“Are you done?” I said.

He sighed. “Gwen, the flowers are a nice gesture. Even I’m not dumb enough to think it will make any difference after what I did.” He thrust the roses out again for me to take. “They’ll look pretty on the kitchen windowsill. Accepting these doesn’t mean you’ve accepted my apology.”

“Your apology?” Was this another one of his jokes? “Funny, I don’t remember hearing an apology.”

Toby’s head tilted. He seemed genuinely confused. “The day of the yard sale. In our bedroom. I said I was sorry. And my messages…”

“Oh, that was your apology?”

“I know you don’t think my words mean much—”

“Why bother saying anything? Your actions speak volumes.”

Toby sucked in a sharp breath. “I am sorry, Gwen—”

“Because you got caught.”

“That’s not why. For once, I’m going to be serious, okay?

” I wasn’t sure if he was promising me or himself.

“I’ve had nothing but time to think this last week.

I thought about the last month… The last year…

Honestly, I don’t know the exact moment I first screwed up because…

Gwen, there are so many times I screwed up. ”

The prosecution rests, Your Honor.

Toby’s eyes flicked down when my foot started tapping, but he shook off my impatience to say what he thought he needed to.

“I’m ashamed of what I did and how I treated you.

It was my job to protect you, and there I was, the person hurting you the most. I was so wrapped up in the clinic and worrying about how things had changed between us that I didn’t stop to think about you. ”

“No. You didn’t. That’s okay. I figured you were keeping busy after seeing Kayleigh’s latest post.”

“I blocked her number. I avoid her at work. I certainly don’t talk to her or surf through the shitstorm of lies she’s telling on social media.”

I pulled out my phone and swiped through my photos. Under the screenshot I’d snapped of Kayleigh lounging over a black SUV, sniffing a single pink rose, was the caption I read aloud, “ He always spoils me .”

Toby’s hand covered my phone. “Stop, Gwen.” His request was spoken gently. “Not for me. For you . I know you don’t trust me—”

“That’s your car in her photo.”

“Kayleigh’s lying. I worked until ten o’clock last night on an emergency root canal.

Judy stuck around to lock up and dropped me off at the hotel because I was too exhausted to drive safely.

I left my car at the clinic overnight. Call the hotel.

Talk to Judy. Here”—he held out his phone—“check it. I’ve got nothing to hide.

I wasn’t with Kayleigh last night or any night. ”

“Except the night of the party.”

Toby’s lips pressed flat, but he didn’t dodge my accusation.

“Except the night of the party.” He leaned his shoulder against the doorway, the bunch of flowers falling to his side.

“Gwen, I don’t understand where we went off the rails.

I’ve loved you since I was sixteen, but I know I stopped showing you.

I’m going to change that. You’re my number one.

” He peeked down at Noah with a smile. “Our number one, hey, little dude? Yeah, we’ll prove it. ”

“How? More of your bullcrap messages?”

Confusion creased between Toby’s brows. “You don’t like the messages?”

“It’s a bit late for hearts and kisses and coffee deliveries, don’t you think?”

“Not if it means you’ll smile at me again one day.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Or laugh at one of my jokes,” he added. “No one laughs like you do. It’s a battle to get one out of you, but when I hear that sound…” A dopey smile stretched across his face.

“For God’s sake, Toby.” My words hissed through gritted teeth. “You ended our marriage! You’re carrying on like we’re arguing over putting on a load of laundry or something! Act seriously for once in your life, will you?”

“I’m taking this as seriously as a damn heart attack.”

“Not from where I’m standing.”

“Staring at a hotel ceiling night after night woke me up to what’s important.

My eyes are wide open, and I see everything I want in the universe right in front of me.

” Toby’s eyes drifted down, and his palm softly curved over Noah’s fuzzy head.

“You and NoBo. That’s it. I won’t stop trying to make up for my mistakes, even if it takes years. Even if it’s never.”

I took the guesswork out of the equation for him. “It’s never.”

Toby flinched, but another goofy smile masked how my words had gutted him.

“Okay, well … At least I’ve got a timeframe to work toward now.

” He grinned at the chubby boy still sleeping in his carrier.

“Little dude, I think we need a new game plan. She told me to bugger off, just like you said she would. Oh, what’s that?

” Toby tilted his head and pretended to listen to the whispers of our sleeping son.

His gaze lifted to mine before a cautious smile broke across his face.

“So, since flowers are out… Noah wants to know how you feel about chocolates.”

The patches I’d slapped over the broken pieces of my stone-cold heart cracked open. Warm and fuzzy whispers slithered in. Toby was such a dork. I’d bawled a thousand tears over the sweet boy I’d lost somewhere along the way. But on the outside, I was deadpan, unshaken, and as pissed off as ever.

Toby would never break me again.

Never .