Push

14. He Saw His Mother

He Saw His Mother

Toby

The Tanyanator

Quit stalling.

My sister wasn’t wrong. I didn’t need to circle the block three times to find a parking spot closer to my mother’s place.

I did need to send Gwen a thank-you for the photo of Noah at bath time, but I probably didn’t need to spend ten more minutes scrolling through the other pictures of him I’d saved on my phone.

I was one thousand percent stalling.

The Tanyanator

Get your ass inside.

NOW.

Tanya wasn’t exactly warm and fuzzy at the best of times, but our mother’s dinner invitation had made her pricklier than usual. “Invitation.” That was a laugh.

I could imagine a thousand places I’d rather be than the beachside monstrosity towering over the cliffs of Tamarama.

Hell sounded like a cozy backup option. Pluto might even be nice this time of year.

But the Sullivan siblings had never had any choice about whether to visit our mother.

We rocked up or suffered her wrath—or whatever passive-aggressive tactic she unleashed in the days following.

I heaved a sigh and grabbed the bottle of wine from the passenger seat. There was no way this dinner wouldn’t end up in tears, and they’d probably be mine. I squashed the dread into the pit of my stomach and grew enough balls to get out of the car.

The house loomed like a gray storm cloud over the ocean. Somehow, I dragged myself off the street, onto the checkerboard-tiled porch, to stand frozen at the open doorway.

“Someone’s keen.”

I swiveled my head to find Tanya hidden in the shadows. She was flopped on the lounge in the corner, her face eerily lit up by the glow of her e-reader and her sneakers propped on the porch railing. My mother would lose her shit if she saw that.

“What are you doing out here?” I asked.

“Enjoying the view.” Tanya gestured to the hedge blocking her hiding spot from the street of parked cars. “It’s magnificent.”

“You’re avoiding Mum?”

“Obviously.”

I leaned across the porch, cautious to keep my voice low. “Do other people dread having dinner with their mother?”

“In normal families? No. I think they enjoy spending time together.”

“How’d she convince you to drive all the way up here?”

Tanya shrugged. “Mother dearest shared her plans for your murder. And honestly…” Her grin was sly. “With Gwen’s military precision organization skills out of the picture, I could do without all the paperwork dealing with your funeral, Tobes.”

“Mum’s pissed off then?”

“You haven’t talked to her since everything blew up?”

“No.”

Tanya looked vaguely impressed. “Teach me this sorcery.”

No sorcery. I’d stuck my head in the sand and pretended the world wasn’t blowing up around me.

“Work’s been busy,” I said. Not a lie. I’d taken on more patients to keep myself locked away from Kayleigh as much as possible. “I spend all my spare time with Noah when I can.”

“Did you see the raisin today?”

“Yeah.” I smiled for the first time in hours. “Gwen’s cooled off a bit over the last week. She’s been letting me come over in the mornings to take Noah for a walk before work.”

“Come on, Tobes. That’s not enough.”

No, it wasn’t. Not even close. “I don’t want to push too hard.

Gwen’s hurting so bad. The way she looks at me…

” The sad eyes Gwen flitted at me when she didn’t think I was paying attention stabbed through my heart.

I’d broken her. “The best thing for Noah is to be with his mum when he’s so little, but I’m going to be able to share more of the responsibility now.

” I puffed out my chest when I added, “I’m out of the hotel.

I signed a short-term lease on an apartment today. ”

Tanya snorted. “Oh, so the great man-child can take care of himself.”

I crashed back to reality in a heap. “Shit, Tan. I’m not totally hopeless.”

“Are you sure about that? Gwen runs herself ragged taking care of you and the raisin.” Tanya turned her gaze back to skimming her e-reader. “A big house. A baby. Your bills don’t get paid all by themselves, you know.”

“You’re making it sound like paying a few bills is a huge deal.”

Tanya barked a laugh. “ Tobes .” She shook her head. “Are you dumb enough to say that horseshit to your wife?”

Had I? Maybe? Gwen and I had been fighting about everything for the last few months.

Tanya was still shaking her head. “Maybe it’s a good thing Gwen threw your ass out. Time for you to get a reality check and see exactly how much shit she’s been dealing with.”

“Is it really that much?”

“If you need to ask that question, you need to experience it yourself.” Tanya jerked her head toward the door. “Get inside, drongo.”

Wincing, I nodded slowly. No point in stalling forever. My mother’s wrath was going to be unleashed at some point. I shuffled to the door, the bottle of wine slipping in my hand from sweat and nerves. I was about to step through the gates of hell when Tanya called out to me.

“Oh, and just so you know,” she said. “Mother dearest is cooking beef Wellington for dinner.”

My hand froze on the door. “You’re joking.”

“Nope.” With a pointed look, Tanya added, “With all the trimmings.”

I grimaced. This was very bad. My mother took out her frustrations in the kitchen. The fancier the meal, the angrier she was. Beef Wellington wasn’t an easy dish to cook. Translation: Mum was pissed .

“It could be worse, right?” My smile was shaky. “She could be baking a soufflé.”

Tanya smiled back, but there was nothing shaky about it. It was pure evil. “That’s for dessert. Mother dearest will probably serve the soufflé right after she serves us your ass on a platter.”

Her evil cackle followed me down the hall.

I’d never dreaded walking into the kitchen more in my life.

My mother stood at the island counter. Her dark hair was swept up in a bun, and the white apron that covered her colorful silk kaftan was pristine even though the countertop was a mess.

She acknowledged me only with a flick of her eyes as she reached for the glass of wine perched next to the chopping board.

“Hey, Mum.” I bent down to kiss her, but she turned her cheek. I sighed and held out my peace offering. “Your favorite.”

Her eyes skimmed the label. She turned up her nose. “You were supposed to be here an hour ago.”

“Sorry. My appointments ran late.” I set the wine on the counter and turned to her with a forced smile. “Need any help with dinner?”

She picked up the knife. The sharp crack of the blade on the cutting board filled the awkward silence as she ignored me to slice more potatoes.

“Your hair looks nice tonight,” I said.

My mother blessed me with a withering glare and then returned to slicing her potatoes.

“So.” I dialed up my smile for one last try. “How was your vacation?”

Her hand clenched tighter around the wooden handle of the knife. “How was my vacation?” She stared straight ahead, her lips pinching into a frown. “How do you think my vacation was, Tobias?”

I shrugged. “Fun?”

“Oh, yes, it was a riot . I particularly enjoyed when my friends came flying into the day spa, delighted to show me what was happening all over the internet back home.”

My jaw tightened. I should’ve known the gossiping harpies my mother called her friends wouldn’t have missed a beat to twist the knife—even on a beach a thousand miles away.

“Mum, I think that’s a bit of an exaggeration.” Sort of … “It all blew over quickly.” Kind of …

“You didn’t think to warn me?”

It took every bit of restraint not to roll my eyes into next week. “I was a little preoccupied.”

“Yes, I suppose the whole world got quite an insight into how you spend your free time.” She turned a sharp gaze on me. “How could you be so stupid ?”

I’d asked myself that question a thousand times. I was going to ask the psychologist to help me figure it out, too. But for now, I had no answer other than the fact I was a selfish asshole. So, I gave my mother the truth. “I don’t know.”

“Posing for photographs with your mistress? Honestly .”

“She’s not my mistress.”

“All a simple misunderstanding, was it?” My mother sniffed her indignation. “Of course, the mess you created could have been handled discreetly if not for that…that… girl .”

My jaw tensed. “ That girl is my girl. Gwen has a name, Mum.” The reality of where my mother would aim her venom shouldn’t have surprised me, but I warned her anyway. “Tread carefully.”

My mother ignored me and launched into attack mode. “Gwen’s behavior was disgraceful . The ridiculous furor she created all over the internet to drag your name through the mud—”

“I betrayed her.” The walls of the kitchen were already closing in on me. “Gwen was upset. She wasn’t just going to smile and pretend it never happened.”

“ Disgraceful ,” Mum repeated. “Fancy putting an advertisement like she did on the internet. No shame whatsoever. And that self-deprecating message she forced you to post… My God , Tobias. The humiliation she’s caused this family!”

“Gwen didn’t ask me to write the apology. I chose to do that myself. It was the right thing to do.”

“Airing your private business in public .” My mother shook her head with disgust. “There’s a reason her beautiful brother wants nothing to do with her. Gwen never stops to think. She never thought about my grandson or how her actions would impact him when she organized that yard sale!”

I rolled my eyes. “Noah’s not even one. I reckon he’s going to be okay.”

“She’s stealing the food from his table!”

I took a deep breath and willed my fist to unclench by my side.

The dramatics . The clinic wasn’t doing as well as any of us had planned, but we were hardly on the bones of our ass, and the yard sale had probably driven more traffic in than what it took away.

Everyone wanted to get a look at the moron who’d chucked away the best thing that had ever happened to him.

“Mum, the world’s moved on,” I said. “There are juicier things for people to gossip about than my marriage.”

“Hardly, Tobias. Hardly . Everyone’s still talking about it.”

“Who is everyone ?” My mother’s snooty friends were the last people I cared about. “I couldn’t give a flying f—”

She pointed her index finger at me. “ Language .”

Was I thirty or three? I backtracked because it wasn’t worth the argument. “I don’t care if the other yacht club members saw Gwen’s post.”

“Well, isn’t that lucky,” my mother snipped, “because they’ve all seen it. This situation is an embarrassment to the good name of this family. Theodore would roll in his grave if he could see the shame she’s brought on us.”

Mentioning Dad was a low blow I wasn’t expecting. My head sagged against my chest. “Sorry.”

There was almost a smirk on her lips as she sipped her wine. She knew she’d broken me. “I warned you about that girl.”

My mother was testing her luck. She’d had a week to simmer, and now she was ready to explode, but I wasn’t going to put up with it. “Mum,” I warned for the last time.

“Gwen has never cared about protecting this family’s reputation. She may well be the mother of my grandson, but that girl still wallows in the filth she came from.”

Anger surged hot in my veins. “Stop.” My mother blinked rapidly. Shock stuck her words in her mouth where they belonged. “I won’t let you say this shit—”

“Language!”

Frustration almost ripped out of my chest in a growl. “You’re not talking about Gwen when she’s not here to defend herself, okay? This is my fault. I fucked up—”

“Language!”

“Christ. Whatever.” My chest heaved from the breaths I forced into my lungs. Time for one last attempt to keep it civil. “I was the one in the wrong. You get that right, Mum? Me . I did the wrong thing.”

She scoffed before taking a sip of wine.

“The fault is mine for raising you to be too kind. I left you exposed to a vile little gold digger who has done nothing but tear our family apart. The years she kept me from you… You missed your father’s final days…

” She gulped a sip of wine. “I should have seen the weakness in you when you first befriended that…that… Cooper boy.”

I rolled my eyes. Not this again . “Mum, this isn’t the time—”

“Can’t you see, Tobias? You’re forever collecting all the strays. Ian is no better than his tramp mother!”

“Mum, for Christ’s sake, Abigail isn’t—”

“Don’t ever mention her name in this house!

” My mother’s shrill voice echoed through the kitchen.

She clenched her hand on the edge of the counter to steady herself.

“You don’t see women like them coming, Tobias.

You’re a naive lamb. Gwen never wanted you .

She came crawling out of the gutters of Cabramatta with dollar signs in her eyes—”

“Stop.”

The cold bite of my voice was enough for my mother to clamp her mouth shut. She fumed in silence as she gulped down the wine in her glass.

Reality was heavy. My shoulders slumped under the weight of everything crashing in on me.

“Mum, I understand you’re angry, but point your frustration in the right direction, okay?

None of what happened is Gwen’s fault. Some of this has to play out in public because it was made public—not by her, but by the other woman involved.

I’ve got a lot of work ahead of me to prove to my wife she can trust me again. ”

“Save yourself the effort. You’re better off without that trash.”

That comment was the final straw. I wasn’t sure if the anger or disgust warring inside me locked my jaw shut. I didn’t need any more words, though. I was done. In two strides, I was already at the kitchen doorway.

“Tobias,” my mother shrieked. “Where on earth do you think you’re going?”

“The only person I’m better off without is you.” I bowed with a flourish. “Most respectfully, Mother dearest, please shove that beef Wellington up your sanctimonious ass.”

And when I stormed out the front door with her still screaming after me, I knew I’d never step foot in her kitchen ever again.