Chapter 18
Have I died and gone to heaven? This is so much better than I ever expected heaven to be.
Not that I thought I would go, because of, well, plenty of reasons, but even if I did, my dreams pale in comparison.
I’m lying on a cloud, perfectly relaxed, as someone, an angel if I had to guess, scratches my scalp.
Once every few passes, her thumbs trail down to trace my eyebrows, and if my muscles loosen any more, I’m afraid I’ll sink straight through this cloud and fall out of the sky.
A chuckle wakes me up slightly, and I feel…flesh? Lying on top of me?
“Welcome back, solnyshko.”
The angel’s voice is sinful as she purrs against my chest, and I realize she’s lying naked on top of me.
When my dick twitches, excited at this development, it meets resistance, and the angel groans as she sits up, grinding against my length sandwiched between us.
I can’t help how pathetic my voice is as I beg, rasping out the only word that comes to mind at the moment.
“More.”
“I don’t think so. You’re still floating, and—”
“Please. Please, more…”
“Alright, just one more. Only because you’re so fucking cute coming out of subspace. Not because this is how it’ll be all the time. And you will be punished for interrupting me. Even if I haven’t explicitly told you, I know that you know better.”
My vision is hazy, and as the angel sits back into a squat and begins to ride me…
fuck. She’s so wet, impossibly wet, and suddenly a dam of memories bursts into my mind.
Mila, Mila, Mila…I made Mila come, and now she’s using it as lube to ride me for round two.
I’m not in heaven; this is real life. But if I come again right now, I might die.
“You can do it. You’ve been so good. I know you want to come again. And I can tell you’re close, Thatcher. Come for me.”
My strangled groan perfectly encapsulates the pleasure and pain of how she’s using me, but I’m powerless against her command.
When I feel her squeezing around me, tight as a vise, I lose myself just as she rises off me, forcing my orgasm with her hand.
I think I whisper her name, but before I can hear her reply, everything turns black.
When I wake up, the room is dark apart from candles flickering on the nightstand closest to me. It smells like…home?
“I hope you don’t mind. It’s one I confiscated from your things when you moved in. Figured you’d like to smell it when you woke up. Drink this. I know your mouth is dry.”
The bottle of water she hands me is tinted pink, but I down it in one go without caring what it is.
She’s right. My mouth is dry, and I feel like I got hit by a truck, then dragged through a swamp.
When I woke up the first time, I felt so good, and now I feel like shit.
What the hell happened? Before I can gather the strength to actually ask, Mila speaks, but not to answer my question.
“Want to take a bath?”
Thirty minutes later, I’m lying back against her in the tub with one hand resolutely in my lap while the other receives the best hand massage of its life.
Mila must have taken classes to be able to work every single muscle in my hand, freeing all the stress I didn’t even know I was carrying.
She’s worked her way down both sides of my neck, releasing knots in my traps that I would never let our team trainer touch.
But she’s noodle-ized me, and I’m as relaxed as I’ve ever been, so I let her work her magic.
This tender, post-fuck Mila is hard to reconcile with her usual exterior, and my thoughts feel like they’re still slogging through a haze.
She saves me from having to say anything, pulling my head back to rest against her chest. I clasp my hands tightly together, resisting the all-consuming urge to touch.
“I shouldn’t have listened to you. You were too in between, and it made your come-down harder than it had to be.”
“My come-down?”
“Mm-hmm. We had a really intense experience, and it was totally new for you. From the beginning, we should have discussed more ahead of time, so that didn’t help. But the second round, even if you thought you wanted it, wasn’t what you needed at that moment.”
“I did want it, though. I was totally consenting, if that’s what you mean.” I’m so confused. Does she think she took advantage of me? She’s quiet for a moment before she explains.
“It’s not that you weren’t, solnyshko…”
There’s that word again. I’m still afraid to ask her what it means. Maybe Misha will tell me.
“It’s that you weren’t in the space to make that decision for yourself.
That’s my job, as your…well. In this situation, it was my job to decide for you.
I chose wrong, and as a result, you’re having a less enjoyable aftercare experience.
You should be feeling hazy and gooey but still relaxed.
I think if we had stopped, you would have gotten that. And for that, I am sorry.”
We’re quiet until the water grows cold, lost in our own thoughts. I feel better after hydrating, and if I eat something, I think I’ll be back to normal.
“If I go get some snacks, will you stay and eat with me?”
I can’t help but laugh, and she deflates a bit, thinking I’m laughing at her. Who made her so defensive?
“You don’t have to—”
“I’d appreciate a snack, it’s not that. I laughed because that’s the second time that you’ve managed to respond out loud to a need I only expressed in my head. Earlier, with the water. And just now, when I was thinking about how hungry I was.”
“Alright. Let’s get out, and I’ll go find something for us to snack on.”
By the time I’m dry and wrapped in a towel, she’s back, dressed in loose pajamas, black of course, with her braid re-done and flawless once again down her back.
She’s carrying a tray laden with cheese, fruit, crackers, and jam, and a pack on her shoulder bulges with more water bottles.
I’d usually jump up to help a woman carry things, but Mila doesn’t need my help.
If anything, she’s stronger than I am. I hope someday she’ll let me help, want my help… but I’m getting ahead of myself.
Pulling a paper plate out of her bag, she adds a sampling of everything and hands it to me, along with another bottle of electrolytes.
I drop my towel and sit on the bed, enjoying her appreciative gaze over my figure, including my half-hard cock.
I can’t help it. I’m always sporting a semi these days when she’s around.
“This isn’t the normal order of things when I take someone to bed, I hope you know.”
Munching on my snack, I raise an eyebrow to prompt her to continue. She sits in the velvet chair and sighs, toying with her braid.
“I don’t like to categorize myself, but if you had to put me into a sexual box, I suppose I would mostly fit what people would refer to as a Domme.
I’m a woman who prefers the dominant role during sex, requiring and expecting submission and rule following from my partners.
My special interests include restraints, degradation, edging, and impact play, although on the sadism spectrum, I’d say I’m on the low-to-moderate end of things.
I’m not a lifestyle dominant, either, if you start googling and run into that.
I have no interest in controlling what you wear or eat.
My interest is strictly sexual and within the confines of intimate situations. ”
Impact play…“You want to shpank me? Like across your lap?” Even with a mouth full of food, the question escapes before I can stop it. She doesn’t look displeased by my poor manners, only happy to see me eating.
“Don’t forget to drink that water.” She nods toward the electrolyte bottle that I had, indeed, forgotten. “My hand isn’t my preferred implement, but that’s likely where we would start until you were ready to move on to other things.”
“Like if I’m bad? Or you’d hit me just because?”
“It’s never just because. There’s a reason for every one of my decisions.
That’s why it’s frustrating for me that I let you influence me earlier.
My control is paramount, but we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
I don’t want to dive into this any more right now.
It’s too soon after our encounter for either of us to have clear heads.
What I’d like to know is if anything sounded interesting to yo—”
“Yes.” Her glare tells me she doesn’t appreciate the interruption, but if this is my chance to let her know I am fully interested in exploring anything she’s offering, I’m taking it.
“I’m sorry for interrupting, but yes. I feel so light and floaty with you, when you take control.
Even if I wasn’t restrained today, not touching you made everything feel ten times more intense. And I’m willing to try the spanking—”
“Impact play.”
“Yes, impact play. I’ve liked everything you’ve done so far. Clearly, I thrive when I’m not in charge.” With a wink, I go back to eating and watch as she rises to rummage around in her nightstand.
“Fill this out for me. You can google anything you don’t know, and you can read my preferences on the back. Once you do, we can compare notes, so to speak, and decide where to go from there.”
Cane, flogger, whip…
“We’ll chat about it before we…do anything else, to make sure we’re on the same page—”
Ruined orgasm, milking, sensory deprivation…
“Which, as I said before, I should have taken care of already.”
Degradation, stress positions, exhibition…
“But once you fill this out and we talk, I think we’ll each have a clearer idea of what we want moving forward.
” Her phone alarm blares, and she curses before apologizing.
“I have to take this. Are you okay? I can check on you…” Her eyes flick to the door that joins our rooms, a hint that’s clear but not unkind.
“I’m okay,” I say honestly, gathering my snacks and water and moving to my room, still naked. “I have some research to do, but I’m okay.”
She nods and takes her call as I close the door behind me, missing her presence immediately but feeling more awake now that I’m fed and hydrated. And now that I have homework.
Opening my phone, I ignore all the texts and calls from my party friends and past hookups. I don’t have any from Teddy that I haven’t already responded to, and my teammates can wait until tomorrow. With safe search off, I start with a phrase on the page I’ve never heard of.
Queening throne.
The images that flood my screen have my dick hard again in no time, and I huff a laugh. I have absolutely no idea what I’ve signed myself up for. And I can’t fucking wait.