Chapter 32
Brunch went mostly well. I was a bit apprehensive about how everyone would react to Mila and vice versa, but she transitioned into the group seamlessly.
I’ve always been slightly envious of my friend’s love lives, but never so much as when Teddy left.
The two of us were the only bachelors in our group, but we had each other.
For the past half year, I’ve been the only one without a partner, and it’s hurt.
Today was different, though. I finally had someone there and not just anyone…
the one. I was on cloud nine. Until the group of puck bunnies showed up.
As well as Mila keeps her emotions hidden, I could see how it upset her.
Not to mention how different she’s been acting since we left.
The plan all along was for her to leave early in the morning, but the second we got in the car, she informed me that she would be leaving this evening instead.
We then spent the entire drive in silence.
Things haven’t been much better since getting back to my condo either.
I’ve never felt so suffocated in a two-story living room with floor-to-ceiling windows in my life.
I’ve tried to start a conversation multiple times, but I’m just met with a “hmm.” She won’t even look at me, and I can’t take it anymore.
“Mila, what did I do? Please tell me what’s wrong.”
She cuts her eyes to me briefly, then looks back up at the TV. “Nothing is wrong.”
“Bullshit!” I yell.
I hardly ever raise my voice, and I’ve surely never raised my voice at Mila before, but it works. I have her full attention at last as she turns to face me, venom lacing her eyes.
“Excuse me?”
“I’m sorry to yell, but you’re lying to me! Something is wrong, and don’t you think for a minute I wouldn’t notice. I know you—”
“You do not know me,” she spits. “You know nothing, Thatcher Prescott. How could you possibly think a month or so of sex is enough to qualify that you know me? You’ve been nothing more than an escape from the stress of my life. A temporary distraction, that’s all.”
Well fuck, that hurts. But it’s not true, and I know it deep in my soul.
Our connection is more, whether she wants to admit it or not.
Yes, the sex is incredible, but the pull between us consumes every one of my conscious thoughts, and even my subconscious dreams. She’s the piece of myself I’ve been missing all my life.
The cardinal piece, so intrinsic to who I am that without it, I could never truly exist. With her, I finally have purpose. With her, I’m home.
“I do, though,” I whisper. “You know this is more just like I do. No, I have no clue what it’s like to be you.
Your life is and has always been a contrast to my own, and no matter how many stories I hear about it, I’ll never be able to relate.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t care. It doesn’t mean I can’t see your pain and your stress and empathize with you.
I want to be your outlet. I want to be your peace, your joy, the light at the end of a dark and stressful day.
I would never pressure you for more of yourself than you could freely give, but I’m begging you to stop hiding from this. ..from us.”
Her defensive posture dissipates as she subconsciously leans into me.
She would never intentionally do such a thing, but the pull between us is too strong for even her to fight, and I know it.
I feel it. I take her hands in mine. I risk her shutting off again with the intimacy behind my touch, but she doesn’t.
“Please, please just tell me what’s bothering you. ”
She sighs. “It’s stupid.”
“Nothing you think could possibly be stupid.”
“The women at brunch made me jealous.”
“After that performance you put on last night at the club, you’re going to get jealous about women I don’t even think I’ve ever met?”
She rolls her eyes. “You told me to do the exhibition! I never would have done that if you didn’t tell me to.”
“It wasn’t just the fact that you were with someone else. It was what you were doing. I don’t think I would ever be okay with that, and if that’s what you—”
Mila braces herself on my thigh. “Let me stop you right there. Perhaps I haven’t explained my role as a Domme well enough.
It’s my job, my pleasure, to push my partners to their limits in order to give them the most explosive release.
That differs from person to person. What Riley likes is different from you, and that’s perfectly fine.
His extremes don’t give me a better experience.
You have nothing to be jealous of, solnyshko.
Believe me when I say, you take it better than anyone ever has. ”
Smiling, I put my hand over hers. “You never have anything to be jealous about, either, I promise. Those women never meant anything to me. I kept them around for a quick release. It was only ever sex, and even that’s become dull over the years. Nothing has or will ever compare to you.”
“I know.” She smirks. “It wasn’t the moment of doubt that’s been bothering me.
It’s that I would even be jealous in the first place.
I should know myself better than that. The world I live in is cutthroat, and if I lose sight of my worth, I fear everything I’ve ever built will crumble.
I don’t have time for feelings like jealousy or anything else. ”
Anything else…
“I only want to enhance your life. If that ever changes, let me know, and we’ll readjust. I want to add to your strength, never take away from it.”
She hesitates for a moment to accept my hug, then leans in. “Do you still have to leave tonight, or can you stay?”
“I actually have an early morning meeting. I, uh…confirmed when I was upset. But I’ll see you next weekend, right? You’re coming to the compound?”
She inches closer, eyes hot with emotions she’ll never admit to. She may not even know she feels them yet, but her eyes do. For some reason, this force of a woman cares for me, and I’ll do everything in my power to be worthy.
Bridging the gap between us, she has plenty of time to reject my kiss, but she doesn’t.
The moment our mouths meet, she opens for me.
There’s an urgency, a passion that sends sparks through my body so deep I feel them in my bones.
It’s all-consuming, taking the very last pieces of my heart.
And when she pulls back, I’ve never been so certain of my love for her.
“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”