Chapter 26
~Riley~
When we get back to the hotel after the first day of competition, Hannah closes the door to our hotel room behind her, locks it, and turns to me with crossed arms.
“Alright, we’re going to talk about this.”
Trevor is the last thing I want to talk about, which says a lot right there. He used to be my favourite topic of conversation.
“It’s complicated,” I groan in an attempt to avoid the interrogation she seems determined to give me.
“So explain it to me. I’ll wait.”
She leans back against the door, arms still crossed, as if she has all the time in the world.
“Ugh. Fine.”
I flop down onto my bed, one of two queen beds in our hotel room, my head on the pillow.
Apparently convinced that I’m no longer a flight risk, Hannah abandons the door and comes to sit down on the other side of the mattress, crossing her legs and leaning forward.
“Start at the beginning. I need the whole story. How did you meet?”
We could be here a while if I go over the last two years in detail, but since she genuinely wants to know, I cast my mind back to the start of our relationship.
“I met Trevor when he moved to the club where I was already training. He’d just turned senior and everyone knew he was the next big thing.
He had the talent and the looks, and all the girls at the club wanted him.
Honestly, he could have had his pick, and I was shy and quiet then, even more than now.
When he started paying attention to me, I couldn’t believe my luck. ”
“So, he’s the one who went after you?” she clarifies.
I’ve never really thought of it in those terms, but I shrug my agreement. “I guess so. I mean, he didn’t have to do much chasing. He asked me to go out to a movie one night, I said yes, and that was it. We were together after that.”
His interest flattered me so much that I never stopped to question why he chose me, or to wonder what we really had in common other than skating. At the time, that seemed like enough.
“And the relationship was good?” Hannah presses. “Did you fight a lot?”
Remembering even a single fight is a challenge. “Honestly, we never really disagreed about anything. The day we broke up was the first serious fight in our entire relationship.”
Maybe that’s why I ran away instead of talking to him? With no experience of resolving conflict to fall back on, it seemed easier to avoid that conflict entirely.
Hannah switches positions on the bed, lying down on her stomach parallel to where I’m still sprawled out on my back. “That’s not normal, spending that much time with someone and never arguing. Lewis and I argue at least once a week and we’re only friends.”
Deep down, I know she’s right. Even Hudson and I had our sort-of fight in Helsinki. But with Trevor, things just never got that heated.
“Nothing about him ever annoyed you?” she presses.
“Of course there were little things, but I never thought they were worth fighting about.”
“So, you gave in to him all the time?” she asks gently, rephrasing what I said in a way that sounds a lot less appealing.
Appealing or not, it’s the truth. “Well, he didn’t ask a lot of me, so when he did ask, I always agreed. And I never really asked much of him.”
Because I was afraid to push for more, if I’m being honest. No one else in my life had time for me, so I didn’t want to give Trevor any reason to decide I was too much trouble. That’s part of why it stung so much when he cheated; I couldn’t have been a better girlfriend.
“What did he ask for?” Hannah wants to know.
“Nothing big. Just money, every now and then.”
Hannah’s eyebrows shoot up. “Just money?”
I wince, hearing how it sounds when she repeats it. “I don’t like to bring it up because I know how much some people struggle with paying for everything that goes along with skating, but I live pretty comfortably. My mom makes sure everything’s handled.”
I used to tell myself it was her way of showing she cared. On less charitable days, I think it’s her way of ridding herself of any guilt for not being there in person. Either way, I know I’m lucky not to have to worry about money.
“How much did you give him?” Hannah asks.
Honestly, I have no idea. “Well, he was having trouble with the club fees when we first got together, so I had the club add them to my payments.”
Hannah’s jaw drops. “Wait. You paid all his fees?”
I guess I still do, at least for this season. Honestly, I hadn’t even thought about it. The money never mattered to me.
But does it matter to Trevor?
An uncomfortable chill settles into my bones. Is that why he wouldn’t accept me leaving? Is it why he was interested in me in the first place instead of all the prettier, more outgoing girls at the club?
No. That can’t be true. Surely, I would have known if our entire relationship had been a lie?
But when I think about the time I’ve spent with Hudson, and how engaged and interested he always is in what I have to say, in how supportive he is of my skating, I have to admit that even as a friend, Hudson has been a better boyfriend than Trevor was.
Damn.
“I don’t want to get back together with him,” I blurt out without answering Hannah’s previous question. The words ring true as they leave my lips, and I feel like I can breathe properly for the first time all day.
Whatever the reason was that he first asked me out, whatever the reason was that he cheated with Evelyn, none of it matters. None of it will change my mind about the way I feel now, and for once, I’m going to put my own feelings first.
Hannah fist-pumps the air above her in approval. “That’s the Riley I know. Now you just need to tell him that.”
Easier said than done, but she’s right. Even though I said I’d give him another chance yesterday, I’m allowed to change my mind.
Before I can ask her for help on how to break the news, someone knocks at our door and Hannah jumps up to answer it. I sit up too, smoothing out my hair, expecting it will be someone else from the club inviting us to join them for something tonight.
Someone from the club does stand on the other side of the door, but not the person I expect.
“Could I speak to you alone, Riley?” Hudson asks, his usually warm blue eyes looking conflicted.
“You know, I think I’m supposed to be meeting Lewis to talk about something anyway,” Hannah offers, even though all three of us know it’s a lie. “Text me when you’re done, Riley.”
She gives me a wink behind Hudson’s back and even after our heavy conversation, I find myself stifling a giggle.
She’s so sweet, and I’m so glad I’ve gotten to know her better since joining Riverbend.
In a matter of weeks, I feel like I fit in better with these people than I ever did at my old club.
The door latches shut behind her, leaving me and Hudson alone together in a hotel room for the first time since Helsinki when I came onto him and suggested we have sex. Whatever he came here to talk about must be tamer than that.