Chapter 42
~Hudson~
Usually, a kitchen is a safe place to hang out during a party, but of course, Victoria’s party isn’t ‘usual’. Several staff members are pouring drinks and arranging food on trays, and the man closest to the door immediately gives me his attention when I walk in.
“Are you looking for something, sir?”
“A back door? I need some air.”
The man frowns. “It’s very cold outside.”
“Yeah, I know. I just need a minute.”
He doesn’t look convinced, but he points down a hallway leading in the opposite direction from the living room. “Down there. Don’t close the door all the way, it locks automatically.”
“Thanks.”
Following his directions, I step out the back door onto a large snow-covered deck, leaving the door slightly open behind me.
A small area has been shovelled clear, so I stand in that spot, out of the snow.
On the edge of the city, hardly any light distorts the canopy of stars in the black sky overhead.
The crisp night air stings my lungs as I take a deep breath in, but it’s exactly what I want.
I need to clear the fog in my head and buzzing in my ears that started when Riley kissed Keaton.
I know there’s nothing between them. She’s never expressed any interest in him, and he has so many women following him around, he’s barely noticed her. It wouldn’t bother me at all that they kissed as part of the game… if everyone knew that she’s mine.
That’s what’s bugging me: having to hide how I feel and pretend I feel no differently for her than I do for Hannah or Natalie or Victoria herself.
I told Riley I’d be okay with it, and I fully intended to be, but seeing her kiss Keaton and knowing that everyone else in the room thought he might have a chance with her bothered me a lot more than I expected it to.
Sucking in another lungful of the frigid air, I exhale slowly, watching my breath form curly puffs of cloud as it blows away.
“Hudson? Are you okay?”
Riley’s quiet voice behind me makes me jump. With the door already open, I didn’t hear her come out. Her arms wrap around her body in her red dress, shielding herself against the worst of the cold as she comes to stand next to me, peering up at me with her brows drawn tight together.
She’s worried that I’m angry with her, it’s written into every line of her defensive posture, but I’m not.
I’m upset with myself, and I’m upset with the situation, but Riley herself?
She’s always been completely honest with me about what she wants out of this relationship. I’m the one who messed up.
“I’m good,” I assure her. “But you’re freezing. Let’s go back in.”
I start to move but her hand reaches out to stop me, worry still etched into her expression. “I didn’t want to kiss Keaton. It wasn’t… it didn’t mean…”
“I know.” Since she won’t go back in, I wrap my arms around her to keep her warm instead. “It was part of the game. I’m not mad.”
“Really?” Riley shivers as she wraps her arms around my waist, leaning into my embrace. “Then why did you leave?”
“Because I didn’t like the way everyone else was watching you guys and the rumours it’s going to start.
I know I don’t have to worry about you, but I hate the idea of everyone else gossiping about you.
And I hate the fact that it bothers me when I told you I’d be okay with keeping our relationship quiet. I’m mad at myself, not at you.”
Her eyes search mine, and when she finally seems to accept I’m telling the truth, she shakes her head sadly. “I’m sorry, Hudson. I don’t want you to beat yourself up for the way that you feel. You want to tell people about us and that’s incredibly sweet. It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“But you still don’t want to,” I point out.
Her lips twist into an unhappy grimace. “I do but I don’t. I thought maybe we could tell a few people, like Hannah and Lewis, but…”
“But as soon as one person finds out, it’s bound to get out,” I finish for her. “It’s okay. Honestly, it is. If it’s what you want, I’ll figure out a way to deal with it. That’s all I was trying to do out here in the cold.”
At the mention of the temperature, she shivers again, her whole body shuddering in my arms, and I can’t help laughing as I rub my hands up and down her bare arms.
“Come on, let’s go back in.”
My hand wraps around the cold metal doorknob, but when I try to pull it open, nothing happens.
“Shit.” I give it another tug, a stronger one, but it’s no use; it’s locked. It must have closed behind Riley when she came out.
“Please tell me you’re joking,” she pleads, shivering again.
“Unfortunately not. We’ll have to knock.”
There’s no doorbell at this door so I bang the heel of my hand as loud as I can, hoping someone in the kitchen will hear it.
We both stay silent afterwards, straining to make out the sound of footsteps coming towards us, but it’s quiet.
We can hear the vague hum of music from further inside, but no one who’s close enough to hear us.
“I’ll have to run around to the front,” I suggest, peering down at the knee-high snow on the ground below the deck. Riley’s in high-heel shoes; there’s no way she can go.
“Can’t we just c-call H-hannah or s-somebody?” Riley’s teeth have begun to chatter, and before I can think twice about it, I yank my sweater off over my head and pull it over hers instead.
“The music’s too loud. They won’t hear it. I’ll be right back, I promise.”
Giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, I set off at a sprint through the snow.
It takes less than a minute to reach the front door, but it feels like every skin cell on my bare torso has puckered.
The person at the door stutters something after me as I dash back inside, but I don’t stop, running topless through the crowd of surprised partygoers and through the kitchen until I get back to the rear door and push it open, pulling a still-shivering Riley inside.
“Are you okay?”
To my surprise, her lips twitch as she looks up at me in the hallway’s dim light, and a second later, she bursts into laughter. “You’re crazy!”
“You already knew that,” I point out.
“I did, but you keep surprising me, Hudson Baker.”
I could say the same, especially when she reaches up to wrap her hand around my neck and pulls me down into a deep, hungry kiss that puts the one between her and Keaton to shame.
It would be so easy to lose myself in that kiss, despite the cold and in spite of everything that just happened, but before I get the chance, someone clears their throat, forcing us to break apart.
Riley’s eyes are wide as we both stare at each other for a second before, in unison, we turn our heads to find a group of at least ten people standing at the end of the hall in the kitchen, watching us.
At the front of the group, Victoria’s arms are crossed over her chest, a knowing smirk on her face.
Well, shit. Looks like the secret might be out.