Chapter 48
~Hudson~
My phone vibrates on the bench next to me as I change out of my costume after the short program and I snatch it up, hoping to see Riley’s name.
It’s not her, or at least not her phone number. ‘Unknown number’ displays instead and I hesitate to answer it until it hits me that she might be calling from the rink phone rather than her own phone.
Maybe the thought isn’t entirely logical, but even the slimmest possibility of sharing this moment with her seems worth the risk of answering, even if the press or a fan managed to get my number.
“Hello?”
Silence greets me on the other end, and I pull the screen down from my ear to make sure I answered.
I did; the call is still connected.
“Hello?” I try again. “Riley?”
Still nothing, and with each passing second, the silence unnerves me more.
Sweat breaks out across my brow as my mind flashes back to that other Canadians, that other call, and what happened afterwards.
Heart pounding, I end the call, jabbing the screen with my finger a couple of times before I hit the button correctly.
It’s nothing, I try to tell myself. Wrong number. Recalling my therapist’s advice, I lower my head between my knees and count down from ten, breathing slowly in and out with each number.
As soon as I reach one, a text comes in, this one without a doubt from Riley.
You were INCREDIBLE.
I’m crying in the restroom at the club because I’m so proud of you. I feel ridiculous.
My heart swells at her admission and at the fact that she would get so emotional on my behalf.
I think it’s kinda cute. Did you see dolphin Pip’s national TV debut?
I can picture the way her smile lights up her face when she answers.
You’re going to have some explaining to do when you get back here. Everyone else was very confused.
Nah, never explain. Keep ‘em guessing.
I wish she was here and we were having this conversation in person. Fuck, we’ve only been apart a few days and I miss her so much, my chest literally aches.
Are you with your family now?
Not yet, just getting changed and then I’ll meet up with them.
Okay, I won’t keep you. I just wanted to say you were awesome, and I’ll see you tomorrow.
Can’t wait.
My fingers hover over the keys, debating whether to add the ‘I love you’ that feels like the natural conclusion to this conversation. I hadn’t really stopped to think about if we’re ready for the L-word, but in this moment, it feels so right that I can’t really doubt I mean it.
Riley Walters has become the centre of my world and I love her.
However, over text might not be the ideal time for those words to make their debut. I’ll tell her tomorrow, now that I know it for sure.
My family is already waiting for me outside the secure backstage area by the time I emerge.
“Hudson!” My mom nearly chokes on my name as she wraps me up in a bone-crushing hug. “That was amazing.”
My dad ruffles my hair with a little too much force. “Best I’ve ever seen you skate.”
“Good job, bro,” Tyler adds, giving me a smack on the shoulder.
“As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I still need my body for the free skate tomorrow,” I remind them all, gasping in a mouthful of air.
Sheepishly, my mom releases me. “Sorry. We’re just so excited.”
“I am too. And starving. Can we get food?”
My dad always scouts out the best restaurants ahead of time, and he assures us it’s only a ten-minute walk away. We walk briskly to keep warm in the frigid January evening, and Sutton tugs on my sleeve, holding me back a few steps from the others.
“How are you doing?” she asks quietly enough that the others won’t overhear.
There’s no point pretending I don’t know what she means. “I’m okay.”
“Hudson.” Her warning look lets me know I haven’t fooled her. “How are you?”
“I’m alright,” I repeat before conceding with a shrug that I’m not being entirely truthful. “A couple of weird things have happened.”
Her eyes laser-focus on me. “What kind of weird?”
I tell her about seeing the woman in the crowd who looked like Sophie at practice yesterday, and how I saw her again today during my warm-up, sitting just a few rows behind my family.
“Did you notice her?” I ask, half-hoping she’ll say yes so I’ll know the person is real and not an illusion my brain has conjured to mess with me.
Sutton immediately understands why I’m asking and does her best to reassure me. “I didn’t, but I believe you did. Is there anything else?”
“Someone called me after the skate and didn’t say anything.”
Again, I don’t need to explain the significance.
“Do you need to talk to your therapist?”
If I say yes, my family will have her on the phone for me in a matter of minutes, but I shake my head. “No. I’m doing okay, honestly. I think it’s just a coincidence, and being this competition, I’m making more of it than it is. I’m doing the things she taught me to do and I’m okay. I promise.”
Sutton’s eyes stay fixed on me, her breath curling in smoky spirals above us as she releases a long breath. “If you say you’re good, I trust you, but can I ask you something else?”
“Sure.”
“Why haven’t you told Riley yet? You said you were going to.”
Guilt stabs at me, sending a shiver through my body that amplifies the chill of the air. “How do you know I haven’t?”
“Because she called me yesterday. She knows something’s off and she’s worried about you. She’s not dumb.”
No, she’s not, and she’s been able to read me better than almost anyone right from the start. “I’m going to tell her tomorrow. We have a lot to talk about when she gets here.”
I still plan to tell her I’m in love with her, but first, she deserves to know about my past and the scars I still carry from it. I’ve put it off long enough.
Somehow, it feels like skating the most important program of my life is going to be the second hardest thing I have to do tomorrow.