Chapter 56
~Hudson~
After sitting in the hotel lobby for almost two hours, waiting for any sign of Riley or her coach, I almost miss her when she stomps past. Marching towards the elevator like a woman on a mission, I catch up to her just as she’s about to step into the open elevator door.
“Riley, wait.”
She whirls around, her eyes wide with shock. “Hudson? What are you doing here? Is everything okay?”
Her obvious concern for me, even through her surprise, warms my heart. “I’m okay, and I’m here because it’s where I should be. Where I want to be. Cheering you on.”
“You… but I… you didn’t…” She sputters out a few aborted sentences before taking a deep breath and trying again. “I was just going to my room to get my phone so I could send you a message.”
“Really? I thought you were going to keep your phone off.”
“I was, but I realized I didn’t need to.” She glances around, aware of all the other skaters and officials milling around the lobby, a few of them already throwing curious looks in our direction. “Come up to my room and we can talk.”
She doesn’t need to ask me twice.
A couple of other people get on the elevator with us, forcing us to remain silent until we reach Riley’s room.
It’s as neat and organized as always, and she hands me a bottle of water as she grabs one for herself, both of us taking a seat on the double bed.
Riley crosses her legs and turns to face me, giving me her full attention.
Her hair is still slicked back in a ponytail from practice, but a few strands have pulled loose, curling around her face.
“I’m so glad to see you, Hudson.”
The straightforward, honest statement nearly brings tears to my eyes. “I’m so fucking glad to see you too. I’m so sorry about the past few days. I didn’t want to shut you out, but everyone else said I should. I’m sorry I listened to them.”
That earns me a brief smile, but the concern hasn’t completely evaporated from her eyes. “Are you up to talking about this? How are you doing?”
For the first time, I truly have nothing to hide. “I know that Sutton filled you in on what happened with Sophie. I’m sure you have questions, and I’m happy to answer them for you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you myself before all of… this… happened.”
My hands spread to indicate everything that went on in the past week and the distance it created between us.
“I spent a lot of time in the past few days talking to my therapist and a lot of time trying to figure out who would have gone to so much trouble to try to trigger me. Yesterday, my therapist mentioned someone she thinks I still have unresolved issues around, and it made me wonder if that person might be involved in what happened. Sutton and I went to pay her a visit last night and we found a pink coat in her house, just like the one I saw at the arena.”
Riley is hanging on every word, leaning in closer as if she’ll hear them faster that way. “Who is it?”
“Her name is Peggy. She’s Sophie’s sister.”
To my surprise, recognition and understanding flashes across Riley’s face. “That makes sense.”
“Does it? Why?”
It makes sense to me, but I have no idea why Riley would get it until she lays it out for me. “Natasha told me about the night you found out about Sophie. She told me about the things Sophie’s sister said.”
“Oh.”
I’m not sure what else to say. It’s been so long since Natasha and I have talked about that night, I sometimes forget she witnessed as much as she did.
“Please don’t be mad at her for telling me,” Riley adds. “She was worried about you. She thinks very highly of you and wants to be sure you’re okay.”
“I’m not mad,” I assure her. Surprised, definitely, but not mad.
It’s kind of nice to know there are people looking out for me, and for Riley by extension, when they don’t have to be.
“I still don’t have the full picture though.
Peggy swears she wasn’t in London wearing the coat, so I don’t know who would be. ”
Riley’s lips purse in thought for a moment before she gasps. “Wait. What about Blake?”
“Blake?” The name comes out of nowhere for me. “Why would she be involved?”
“Because she went back to your hotel with you after the free skate. I saw you leaving the arena with her.” When I stare blankly at her, Riley blanches. “Don’t you remember?”
I don’t. Honestly, I have no memory of even seeing Blake that day. My mind has completely blocked it out.
“Why would she…” I start to ask before realizing I already know the answer. “She’s upset that we’re together.”
Riley nods emphatically. “I remember that Lewis told me to watch my back around her if we got together, but maybe we should have been watching your back instead.”
This still doesn’t quite fit for me. “How would Blake know anything about Sophie?”
“I don’t know,” Riley admits. “But I know who can find out.”
She pulls out her phone and taps out a quick text, and I take a quick moment to admire her.
I was so afraid my breakdown would send her walls back up, bringing back the closed-off version of herself who first showed up at Riverbend, but that hasn’t happened.
She looks determined and confident as she hits send and glances back up at me.
“Hannah’s on it, and she’s going to get Natasha for back-up. They’ll get the truth out of Blake.”
I would almost feel sorry for Blake if I didn’t suspect she’d done me very dirty. “Alright, I guess we’ll wait, then. What would you like to do in the meantime?”
I can’t help the way my eyes drop to take in her body as I say the words. It’s been a week since I last saw her, since I left for Canadians feeling on top of the world. It feels so much longer, since I fell into a dark pit and managed to claw my way back out again during that time.
And even fresh from training, Riley’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
Her train of thought, however, is obviously on a very different path. “Will you tell me about Sophie?”
I said she could ask me anything, and I meant it.
For the next hour, I tell her everything about how we met, how we fell in love, and how my skating career put a strain on our relationship, exacerbated by her mental health struggles that I didn’t truly understand.
I tell her about the good times, which were many, and about that awful day I came home from Canadians and the darkness that followed.
“It’s the ‘what if’s that were hardest to come to terms with,” I tell her as we both sit there red-eyed, a box of Kleenex that Riley grabbed from the bathroom between us and several balled, used tissues in the trash can next to the bed.
“What if I’d recognized that last phone call from her as the goodbye that it was?
What if I had said something to her that gave her a reason to hang on just a little longer?
What if I’d never gone away at all? It took me a long time to accept that fixating on those questions wouldn’t change anything.
It wouldn’t bring her back and it wouldn’t help me heal. I had to let them go.”
“I get it. In a way, I had to do the same with you,” she says, dabbing at her eyes again with another tissue.
“You knew right away that we had something special, but I let the ‘what if’s stop me from giving you a chance. Even after we got together, I let my mom’s words sow doubts about you into the back of my head, and when you pulled away from me this weekend, I was afraid that I made the wrong choice.
But I fought back, and I’ll continue to fight for us, and for you.
No one gets to you without going through me. ”
The idea of the petite woman in front of me fighting anyone is kind of funny, but I know exactly what she means. The need to physically fight is rare but mentally, we all go through our own battles every day. When you have someone willing to fight next to you, it can make all the difference.
I reach over to brush away a tear that managed to escape her attention right as her phone rings. Hannah’s name flashes across the screen, and Riley swipes to answer. Hannah’s face instantly fills up the screen.
“Is this an okay time?”
Riley nods. “What did you find out?”
“Hang on. I’ll let you hear it for yourself.”