18. Chapter 17
Psycho
I sigh as I flick the ash off the cigarette and wipe my mouth, the taste of Ivy still on my lips, my tongue, my body still humming after having her again after so long yet I’m fucking, not conflicted but deflated, hurt, I guess.
She’s my girl, don’t get me wrong, that will never change, and I will still be making her mine, not because she’s carrying my child but because she’s my everything.
Despite the fears I’ll fuck up, I know I won't. Deep down, I know I won’t, I always have, I just thought she deserved more than the club life, but I’m deflated because she’s lost my trust, something I never thought she would lose.
I love her so much that it’s hard to breathe when she’s not around, but so much has happened that I don’t know how we can get past it without arguing about the shit, and I hate arguing with her.
The moment she cries, I fucking melt and that can’t happen this time, we need to get everything out on the table if, not our friendship, but our relationship can survive.
I won’t be my dad, or Glock, I fucking refuse.
I won’t take her for granted, but more importantly, I won’t come to resent her for the shit she’s kept from me to protect someone who doesn’t deserve her protection. She chose to be blind. She decided to ignore all the warning signs, and there is a reason behind all of that.
She was scared because I rejected her for her own good, so she didn’t end up resenting me, not realizing all she wanted was me because she couldn’t open her fucking mouth and expected me to read minds.
Fucking women!
I take another hit of the cigarette despite knowing Ivy will kill me, but I need it.
Having her in my arms again was like magic.
It was like a long ride with her on the back of my bike, something only she has gone on.
After spending an hour gently caressing her swollen stomach, little flicks hitting my hand while she slept after our second round, I came outside, unable to quiet my thoughts.
She loves me. She finally admitted it, and while yeah, I still feel like she was punishing me, I know she didn’t do it intentionally, but she also doesn’t trust me.
Fuck my head is a mess.
I love her, but I’m mad at her.
She got my name tattooed by someone else on her rib cage, yet she wanted me to fight for her despite knowing all this could have been avoided if she had just communicated with me.
I groan before taking another hit of the cigarette needing this shit to disappear before it swallows me whole.
“Can I have a puff?” a voice asks from my side, making me sigh as I blow the smoke out.
“Fuck off, Misty,” I grunt taking another hit.
“Come on, Psycho, you know she doesn’t love you, right? I mean, she lied to you, kept the knowledge that she’s pregnant from you. Clearly, she’s just like her mama.” Misty goads.
Guess someone wanted to fucking die huh?
I tilt my head in her direction and raise a brow at her, but she isn’t looking at my face. Instead, she’s looking at my bare chest, her eyes narrowed on the Ivy, and I smirk at the anger that takes hold of her.
“Just because I fucked you Misty doesn’t mean you had a claim on me like you don’t have a claim on any brother because you’re a clubwhore, a patch chaser,” I sneer, and she looks up at me, her light blue eyes blazing with nothing but pure jealousy.
I shake my head and look forward and mutter, “Fuck off and while you’re at it, go get some clothes on, desperate doesn’t look good on you,” and I take another hit off my cigarette.
Stupid bitch is only wearing a tiny thong, clearly hoping to get my attention but it won’t work, it never will.
All I want is my girl, my stubborn, frustrating girl.
Fuck, I can’t believe she didn’t trust me.
I drop my head as I flick the ash, unable to get over that or the fact that she’s having my kid and didn’t tell me.
Misty’s breathing picks up showing me she’s still fucking here, and she snaps, “You have her branded on you yet she’s carrying someone else’s fucking child! Yet here I am, always here for you!”
I roll my eyes before a snort echoes around us, and a sweet voice says, “And every other brother in the clubhouse, you mean.”
I smirk and tilt my head to my girl wearing only my shirt. Blade and Luna stand behind her, glaring at Misty, but a red mist takes over me.
“Cupcake, you did not just walk through that common room with brothers fucking and drinking, most likely not even knowing who you are being that intoxicated, wearing only my fucking shirt,” I snap, and she raises her brow as she crosses her arms over her chest and snaps, “Please tell me you are not smoking, Jax Garcia!”
Blade laughs, and I shrug, taking another hit of the cigarette to punish her like she did with me, even if she didn’t do it intentionally, and she narrows her eyes and lies, “Don’t expect me to kiss you again!”
“Liar,” I smirk, taking another hit before I throw it on the floor and stand as I blow the smoke out of my mouth, not noticing my piece falling out of the back of my jeans as I approach Ivy.
She curls her lip at me, but I ignore the look and slam my lips against hers. Of course, she melts against me and opens her mouth as I lick the seam of her lips and tangle my tongue with hers before I abruptly break the kiss and repeat, “Liar,” and she sighs, dropping her head to my chest.
I smile as I gently move her hair out of her face, causing her to look at me. I whisper, “I just needed a breather, that’s all. I promise it’s a one-off.”
She nods, her eyes looking between mine, and admits, “I still don’t like it,” and I smile.
“You’re kissing her, sleeping with her even though you know she’s carrying a bastard child ,” Misty shouts, and Ivy scowls and moves around me, making me sigh.
“I’m going to have to kill Misty, aren’t I?” I confirm to Blade who nods, his face scrunched in a wince as Ivy states, “Actually Misty, the baby is Jax’s, we slept together three days before you tried to force yourself on him like the pathetic patch chaser slut you really are.”
“Well, we better change that then, shouldn’t we?!” Misty sneers, and I turn, hearing her insinuation, while Blade curses as we see Misty standing on the lawn, in only her thong, holding my gun at Ivy’s stomach.
Mother fucker!
“Blade!” I snap, needing him to shoot the bitch like fucking yesterday and he growls, “Where in the fuck is my piece?”
And I turn quickly with wide eyes, seeing him trying to find his gun.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Without thinking, I turn as two gunshots ring out and I shove Ivy out of the way, making her gasp before blinding pain hits my stomach, the shot knocking me backwards as I grunt.
“Ivy!” I hear Luna scream, and Blade shouts, “Jax!”
As my back hits the decking, a commotion breaks out, shouting echoing while my head swings back, smacking against something rock fucking hard and everything goes black, Ivy being my last thought while Misty screams, “ I’m going to fucking kill that bitch!”