Chapter Three #2
First, like he feels the need to qualify he explains, “There is some, not much, leeway, as my life is pretty structured during those months to ensure I can fit everything in that I need to. I promise that I will always make time for you. It may not be as much as we’d like, but I will give you every second that I can.
” I nod, appreciating the thoughtfulness in the gesture.
Is it any wonder I’m so confused? Scratch that.
I was. I don’t think I am any longer. Grasping my right with his left, leaving our respective dominant ones free to use the fork, he does goes into detail about his waking hours.
“Keep in mind that bye weeks will look different, okay?” I nod, knowing I’ll want him to share what that’s like, too.
“I usually wake up around six,” he laughs when I grimace at that news, “and the next two hours consist of getting ready, eating, then heading to the facility for meetings. During those we’ll discusses strategy and analysis our upcoming opponent.
From there, I immediately head into the next stage which lasts approximately four hours. ”
**Keaton**
“What can you possibly do for that long?” I wink at her, loving when she blushes.
“On top of weight training and conditioning—”
“Speaking of a condition,” she mutters, looking a bit flustered.
Focus, Wayne. “Another meeting or three, these are more detailed, and we end with drills on the field, minus the all the pads we’d normally wear, as well as practice plays, and working on our timing.”
“Good gravy, Keaton. I’m tired just listening to half of your day.”
“That’s where all that conditioning comes in,” I remind her. “We break for lunch, take a beat to rest, then I work on throwing and review film.”
“Let me guess, and more meetings?” I laugh, but she’s right.
“These are regarding positions. Then we go to PT and receive a massage or ice bath, depending on what they think I need.”
Her expression changes and I wonder where her mind went. “These massages…”
“Colter and Quaid have been with the Mavericks since day one.” Her shoulders drop at that and I’m trying to…
Oh. “One of our physicians is a woman, but the medical staff is always professional. Yes, we’re all on friendly terms, makes it easier with how much we can see the other during the season, but they only see us as patients.
” The fact she’s invested enough that the thought of a woman touching me in such a way upsets her makes me happy.
However, she never has any reason to be jealous.
Not to mention, were the situations reversed, I would be just as bothered.
I need to tell her my secret, that there’s never been, nor will there ever be, another woman for me, but I should finish this first. “The evenings consist of dinner, a pep talk meeting or finalizing strategy, another film session, and personal time.” I’m so used to the routine I don’t think much about it but seeing it through her eyes makes me aware in a way I haven’t been in a while how much my world revolves around football.
“From nine on, the evening is ours to do what we wish. A snack, winding down, reading, and/or bed.”
“Wow.”
“A bye isn’t as structured, but there are a lot of similarities.”
“When is training camp?”
Sooner than I’d like. I’m not ready to leave her.
Hell, it was hard enough meeting up with Gareth earlier.
I wanted nothing more than to stay with her.
Gareth teased me when he noticed I couldn’t wait to get home, but I could tell he was happy for me.
And perhaps a little jealous. Not of Lily, but of the fact I found someone.
“A couple weeks.” She seems as disappointed hearing that news as I am saying it.
“Is it weird that I’m going to miss you?”
“Then we’ll be weird together.”
Taking a chance, I walk around to her chair, lift her from it and sit on the cushion.
With her still in my arms, she’s now on my lap and doesn’t hesitate to snuggle into me.
“This is nice.” She sounds sleepy, which might have something to do with all the carbs we consumed, but I’d prefer to take credit for it.
“It’s perfect,” I agree, rubbing my nose into her hair and inhaling.
“I talked to my mom.” That was sort of random, though I don’t think it is. She’s relaxed and allowing her mind to settle, so thoughts are going to come out.
“About?”
“You. Us.” I haven’t been this nervous since my first training camp. Just like then, a lot is riding on the outcome.
“How do your parents feel about us?” She tenses, and I’m thinking they aren’t pleased with me dragging her into this. But her next words let me know that isn’t the case at all.
“I don’t talk to my father.” Father. Not Dad. I file that away because she’s not done and I don’t want to risk missing any piece of information when it comes to her.
“I’m sorry.” I can’t imagine not being close to my dad. It seems she at least has her mom, which is good.
“He made some bad choices and it impacted how I view him. I haven’t talked to him since the news broke.”
It’s plain to see this is a painful topic for her, and I never want to do anything to hurt her, so I stop her. “You don’t have to continue.”
“I know, but I think I need to. I’ve been measuring his actions against yours and…”
“Waiting to see if I fail you, too?”
“When you phrase it that way, I sound like a bitch.”
“Do not ever insult yourself,” I demand, hating that I may have inadvertently caused her to view herself in that manner.
“If someone hurt you, especially if it was your father, you are warranted in being cautious. Parents are the people that we’re supposed to be able to depend on without condition, and it seems like he didn’t uphold that. ”
“I want to truly give us a chance, Keaton.” Thank God. “But you need to know about my baggage. It might be too much for you. Just know that, if you’d rather not deal with it, I won’t hold it against you.”
“I would,” I state. “I’m not running the second an obstacle appears. That would imply you aren’t worth overcoming it and that’s the farthest from the truth.”
*Lily**
“My birth name is Lily Wren Matthews.” My mom wanted me to have a piece of her family’s heritage, so she and my father made my middle her maiden.
So, it made sense to take it as my last when I wanted to erase that connection to my father.
Mom, of course, took it back as well once the divorce was finalized.
“You may have heard of my father,” and his exploits, “Kyle Matthews.” I see the name register.
“He’s a football legend.” The second that leaves his mouth, I see his face change. He’s remembering more recent stats attributed to my father.
Thirteen women coming forward to confess they’ve slept with him, and there’s probably more that haven’t announced it.
A twenty-five-year marriage ending because of it.
One daughter.
“Yeah.”
“He was my childhood hero.”
“Mine, too,” I admit.
“I’m not him, fy seren. I would never do that.” Keaton tightens his hold on me.
“Why do you call me that?”
“It means my star in Welsh.”
“May told me that her son, you,” I correct with a grin, “decided to learn the language after a school project revealed it was in your ancestry.”
“I stopped devoting as much time to it when I started playing football. I remember a bit of it, but nowhere near the amount I had studied.”
“Now that I know what it means, I have to ask again. Why do you call me that?”
“You brightened my life. I just knew I’d follow you anywhere, like a compass guiding the way to my future.”
**Keaton**
When she drops her gaze, like she can’t stand to look at me, my insecurities threaten to rise.
The possibility of Lily rejecting me undoes the years of therapy I’d gone through.
Why would someone as perfect as her want to be with a man like me?
I close my eyes, not even wanting to risk seeing my reflection in the window in front of me.
I know the other version of me will be staring back at me.
The kid that was ridiculed, not the man that I am now.
I try to focus on the fact I’m sitting in my house, not my parents’. Something the young Keaton wouldn’t have. That I have a woman, the woman, on my lap, again an adult occurrence.
My therapist told me when the doubts sneak up on me to concentrate on things that will show me who I am. That the mirror will lie, but facts can’t.
Unfortunately, it’s not working. Maybe seeing the intertwined MM tattoo on my upper arm in the team’s colors along with my jersey number of ten, and the date I was drafted will. If that doesn’t snap me out of this spiral…
“There you are,” Lily whispers, her hands on my cheeks and her nose rubbing mine.
Lifting my face to hers, she places a soft kiss on me.
“You are the sweetest man and I am the luckiest woman that you chose me. I’m scared of what you make me feel, but I’m even more so of not taking the chance to be with you.
” What? “Be patient with me. I have a lot of baggage to sort through, but I want to do so at your side. If I’m your star, you’re also mine. ”
“Okay.”
Lily laughs, not offended by my response, or lack of it, considering it’s nowhere near as eloquent as hers. “I kind of like that I left you almost speechless.”
“Fy seren, you’re straddling me and sitting on the spot holding the entirety of my blood supply in this moment. Be thankful I’m coherent.”
“Are you, though?” She teases, pressing down.
“Fuck me,” I mutter, trying like hell not to come in my pants. Lily grins and kisses a sensitive spot on the side of my neck. Yep, that’s going to leave a spot. On my skin and the material covering my straining erection.
I do not give a shit either.
I’ll wear the proof of her effect on me as proudly as she does my ring.
“Where did you go?” She asks gently, her eyes holding a mixture of desire and concern.
I know what she’s referring to and, as much as I hate to confess how screwed up my brain can be, I owe it to her.
And not just because of what she shared with me.
Lily needs to know in case I’m sent back there for any reason.
“My past,” I admit. “In the fairness of complete transparency, there’s something you should know.
” This time, she stops me, letting me know it isn’t necessary.
“It is.” Then I tell her about my childhood, the struggles with my glitchy metabolism, my weight, the bullying, and so forth.
As if knowing I need to get it all out at once, she doesn’t interrupt me.
She does, however, drop a kiss on me when she senses I need a second.
“My dad thought football would be good for me.” I chuckle.
“As you can see, he was right. The training and running must’ve kickstarted my metabolism because the weight started coming off and the muscles went on.
With them and my skills on the field, I became popular. ”
She mutters an, “I bet.”
“I didn’t care,” I tell her, making sure she can see my face, see the truth of what I’m about to confess. “They didn’t give a damn about me until my body changed into this and my stats garnered the attention of scouts and talk of going pro.”
“Hangers on expecting to catch some of your shine.”
“They didn’t acknowledge me when I was younger and I refused to when I was older.”
“What’s the medical term for what you experienced?”
“Experience,” I correct her. “It’s still there, but only when my emotions are really high or my energy is really low. I have body dysmorphia. To this day, my brain may play tricks on me and try to convince my eyes that I’m still that kid.”
“And if it does?”
“My therapist told me to focus on things this version of me would have, things that I wouldn’t have or experience as a kid.”
“Like what? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“The fact I’m sitting in my house. That my beautiful fiancée is on my lap. My tattoo.”
“You do have one?”
“Yeah. You?” She quirks a brow at me. “Stupid question considering your profession, huh?”
“Let me see it,” she pleads.
Unable to resist messing with her, I inquire, “Are we still talking about my ink?”
“Keaton Michael Wayne!” She’s grinning, though, so I know she isn’t upset.
I, however, pout. “I was hoping you hadn’t heard my mom use it.”
“I love your name,” she tells me. “He was the best Batman.”
“Right?”
“Will you show me?” It’s quieter this time, but no less interested. Lifting my shirt, I twist my body so she can see all of it.
Lily traces a finger over the design, seeming to create a path of fire in her wake. “They did a great job.”
“He did,” I agree.
“Is this the date you were drafted?” I nod. “That’s my birthday.”
“Kismet,” I whisper. Nothing else needs to be said, nor could it because I take her mouth and feel like a king when she lets me.