Chapter 5
Zane
The discipline and control I’ve learned over the years helps me focus on the task at hand.
Somehow, we finish the game with a win. I tried to keep the thought of my mate being here far from my mind, but knowing she’s watching also might have pushed me to play better.
I go through all the motions at the end of the game and don’t let myself think about what I’m going to find when I get to the locker room.
I just need to get through the team meeting, and then I can meet up with my dad and find my mate.
Finally. My heart thunders in my chest at the prospect, but I keep a steady control of myself and my wolf.
I barely hear a word Coach says, until he says my name. “And Blackwood, nice recovery.” I nod.
“What happened out there with you?” Terryl calls out.
I lift my eyes to Coach, wondering how to field this one.
I’ve never, not once in my life, lost control the way I did today.
“Ever heard of the yips?” Coach asks in a stern voice.
Of course they have. Every player has. “That’s what happened to our boy today, but he recovered and finished strong. That’s what counts.”
I stare at him a moment. So that’s how we’re running this.
I don’t exactly like it, but we have to have some kind of cover story.
I let Coach say what he’s going to say and will him to just finish.
When he finally finishes, the guys take to the showers.
I’m anxious to meet up with my dad and finally meet my mate, but probably a shower is the best way to go.
I hurry through my shower and get dressed.
While I’m in the shower, I reach out to my dad through our pack link.
Where are you? Did you find her?
He responds almost immediately. I’ll come to the locker room.
I deflate a little because he’s probably not planning on bringing my mate, my very female mate, into the college men’s locker room.
Finally, all my teammates except Quint leave.
I’m glad because I don’t know if I can keep pretending that everything is normal, and that I just had a case of the yips.
Thanks, Coach. Quint doesn’t say anything, and that’s just as well because I don’t really feel like talking right now.
My father enters the locker room, and just like I assumed, there’s no female with him.
Coach Mitchell comes in behind him, along with Joe, my dad’s enforcer.
“Where is she?” The three of them spread out, and I don’t fail to notice that Joe places himself in front of the door.
Joe’s a big dude; I used to be scared of him when I was little.
That’s not the case anymore, but I still don’t like it that he’s blocking the door.
I cross my arms across my chest and stare down my dad, my alpha.
My dad matches my stare. “We didn’t find her.” I swear and start towards the door. “Son, wait.”
“No, Dad. I played an entire game, after scenting my mate. I’ve done everything I’ve been asked to do, but now, I need to find my mate. She’s out there; I scented her earlier.”
“She’s not out there.” My father’s words are soft, but I still hear them. A growl builds in my chest, but he puts up a placating hand. “I’m telling you, Son; there’s no female wolf out there.” He pauses. “Or if there was, she’s long gone.”
“There’s over a hundred thousand fans at these games. You probably just missed her,” I argue.
My father nods. “Then she’s long gone now.”
“I’ll be the one to judge.”
My father steps into my path, and I really hope he’s not going to stand in the way of me trying to find my mate. “Can you stay in control?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
I don’t release the growl building in my chest. “Yes.”
“Then let’s go.”
I stride towards the door, and Joe moves out of my way without a word.
When I step into the hallway, Reid stands up from where he was leaning against the wall.
I’m grateful to see my best friend. He falls into step next to me.
“You gonna tell me what happened during the game?” His voice is low and flat; Reid is as calm and laid back as I am intense and driven, except when it comes to basketball, that is.
He loves basketball almost as much as I love football, and he’s good.
Really good. He’s set all sorts of records for FMU since we both came here our freshman year.
I know he could have reached out to me during the game, but we respect each other too much to bother each other during a game.
“I scented my mate.” To his credit, he doesn’t react in any way, nor does he question me.
He just waits for me to continue. If he saw me tackled during the game; he would now understand why.
“But now, I don’t know where she’s at. My father was supposed to find her during the game, but he came up empty handed.
” We head out onto the field, and I take in the seats.
They’re empty except for a few lingering fans and the people cleaning the stadium.
I close my eyes and breathe deeply. I’m hit with so many scents but not the one I’m looking for.
“Where were you when you first scented her?” Reid asks.
I walk over to our bench and sniff the area; Reid does the same.
I give up on the field and move to the seats, starting with the seats that were closest to where I first scented her.
A few times, I think I’ve caught the tiniest whiff of her scent, but I think it’s just my brain trying for something that’s not there.
I keep pushing down the panic that’s rising in my chest; it’s a feeling I’m not too acquainted with.
“Zane, we have to stop for tonight.” My father’s words are quiet, and I shake my head.
On the one hand, I know he’s right. It’s been at least an hour that I’ve kept this group out here.
On the other hand, it’s my mate we’re talking about.
I need to know where she is, and more importantly, why she hasn’t come to me.
The only thing I can figure is that she just couldn't scent me over all these people. It’s not that far of a stretch, with all the thousands of people that filled the stadium.
“We’ll find her,” he tries to reassure me.
I shake my head as frustration seeps in. “What if she’s not even from this school? What if she was just visiting or is from Texas?” I can barely say the words.
“We’ll find her,” my father says confidently.
“If we don’t find her here, I’ll put out word to the packs in Texas and find out who had students visiting.
If that doesn’t work, we’ll try other packs in Florida.
She’s somewhere, Zane; we’ll find her.” Someone starts powering down the stadium.
Without a word, I start towards the exit.
When we step outside the stadium, my father turns to me.
“I know it’s hard, but don’t give up. Give me some time to see what I can find out. You see what you can find on campus.”
“How could she be on campus, and we didn’t know?”
My father’s eyes narrow slightly. “That’s what I intend to find out. For now, you focus on what you need to. I’ll be in touch.”
I nod. “Thanks.”
He steps forward and give me a tight hug. “We’ll find her, Son. Have faith.”
Coach approaches me next, and guilt floods me. “I’m sorry about the game.”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself, Zane. I still remember when I scented my mate for the first time.
” He smiles. “That’s something you never forget.
” He claps his hand on my shoulder and then walks away with my dad and Joe.
Reid falls into step with me as we head back to our campus housing.
I sent Quint away a while ago, when it was becoming obvious we weren’t going to find anything.
The walk back to the house we share with Quint and Slate is quiet.
When we get home, I open the door and walk inside, fighting utter helplessness.
I have all this energy I don’t know what to do with.
I want to find my mate, check on her, make sure she’s safe and taken care of.
And yet, I don’t even know where she is, or who she even is.
I don’t even bother going inside any further; I’m never going to settle like this.
“I’m going out; I’ll probably be out all night.
” Reid nods but doesn’t say a word. I tug my shirt over my head and kick off my sneakers before shrugging out of my pants and boxers.
I slip out the back door into the darkness of our backyard and let my wolf come to the surface.
He wastes no time taking over, and I shift.
We head into the woods behind the house, the reason we chose this particular campus housing.
As soon as we’re deep enough in the woods, my wolf runs.
Throughout the night, my wolf runs, hunts, and runs some more.
By the time it’s almost dawn, he’s finally sufficiently worn out.
We head back to the house, and he lets me take control and shift.
I slip inside quietly, leaving the door open for Reid.
He stayed with me all night, keeping a distance but staying close enough that I knew he was there.
I’ve told him so many times he doesn’t need to shadow me, but he does anyway.
He'll be my beta one day when I become Alpha; and he takes his role seriously. I'm in line to take over the pack one day, and that’s not something I take lightly. It’s a burden that sits squarely on my shoulders.
Once inside, I head right to my room. Shifters don’t need as much sleep as humans, so the two hours I have before I have to leave for class will be enough.
I crash on my bed, thankful that I’m too exhausted to think.
I drift off to sleep, trying to remember every aspect of my mate’s scent.
I know if I ever smell it again, I’ll recognize it instantly.
My canines drop with the direction of my thoughts, ready to mark our mate in the mating bite.
But there’s no mate, so I have to force those thoughts away in hopes that they’ll retreat.
Thankfully, I actually sleep. But when I wake up two hours later, thoughts of my mate instantly flood my mind.
Something akin to panic sits on my chest, like a boulder.
I rub at the spot, wondering how in the world I’m going to survive like this.
Thoughts of my mate needing me, being hurt or injured or worse flood my mind, and I can barely function.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. As much as I don’t want to, I’m going to have to push thoughts of my mate aside if I’m going to be able to function.
I have every intention of finding her, but to do that, I need a clear head.
This panic and fear are too debilitating and won’t help me in the least. I try to convey to my wolf that we have to tone it down, so I can focus to find her.
I feel his anger, but I also feel the slightest bit of fear easing until that weight on my chest dissipates almost altogether.
I take a deep breath. I hadn’t realized how much my wolf’s emotions were feeding mine; I’ll have to be careful of that in the future.
This is new territory for both of us. But our mate is out there, and we’re going to find her.
We need to be able to handle these emotions because they’re not going anywhere.
They're only going to get worse once we actually meet her.