Chapter 32
Camryn
Back at the palace, I discard my riding clothes that smell like the sea. I soak in the tub for a long time, thinking about how much I didn’t mind spending time with Caelum today. I actually enjoyed it.
I don’t know how to feel about this revelation. On the one hand, he’s the very reason I’m in this dark palace right now. And while he was around and checked on me when I first arrived, he also did nothing to help free me.
Now what? He wants to be friends?
I lean my head against the tub. I should hate him. Should keep him locked out and reject his acts of kindness. But dammit, he makes it hard. I don’t know his history with Arc. I don’t know what he’s been through. No one is perfect, right?
My head slips below the surface to drown out my thoughts. The image of Caelum standing in the bathing room the night before floods my mind, and I sit up, expecting to find him watching me again.
I sigh when I find the room empty.
My stomach rumbles and I lift myself from the water’s embrace to dress for dinner.
I opt for a modest gown, hoping wearing something beautiful will boost my confidence. I marvel at the deep gold silk with a glittering tulle overlay. It hugs my form, and long sleeves cover my arms. The neckline is high and wide, shielding my humble cleavage. My dark hair hangs loose.
I shuffle into the dining hall to find Caelum already seated at the head of the table. I notice immediately that it’s set for two, no evidence of Arc acting as a third wheel.
Caelum’s eyes glimmer as he rises from the chair, his gaze trailing down my form. I wring my hands, suddenly self-conscious.
He looms over the small table in sleek black pants and a shirt that opens at the collar. My eyes unabashedly drift to the bronzed skin of his chest.
“Good evening, Camryn.” He gives me a soft smile as I walk toward the table. My lips curve into a grin as I reach for the back of the chair. He slips behind me, helping me settle in.
“Did you rest?” He eyes me as he pours himself a glass of red wine. He fills one up for me as well.
“You tell me. Can’t you just invade my mind and find out?” I don’t know why I’m feeling salty, but old habits are hard to break.
Caelum sighs, and his amber eyes lock on mine. “I’m staying out of your head. I didn’t mean to invade your privacy.”
His sad puppy eyes give me a slight pang of guilt. “I’m just fucking with you.” I smirk, and his eyes brighten just a hair. “I indulged in a nice bath,” I say as I scan his body. “It looks like you cleaned up as well.”
He grins. “You noticed.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re kind of hard to miss. Especially since Lord Cranky Pants isn’t here.”
Caelum’s expression sours. “Yes. He let me know not to expect him for a few days.”
“Oh, darn,” I mumble, thick with sarcasm.
He chuckles and I’m drawn to his warmth. While I don’t know how I feel about him and whatever is budding between us, I can’t deny how much lighter he makes me feel. Months of anger and bitterness have left me exhausted. It’s nice to feel more like myself.
I watch him cut into a piece of meat. “So what’s your plan for us, Commander?”
Caelum looks at me with an arched eyebrow before plunging the bite into his mouth. “Whatever you would like, Princess.”
I glower at him. “Don’t call me that.” I tip my chin up and take a long pull of wine, relishing the fruity flavors sliding down my throat. My tongue glides across my lips as I set down my glass. “I’m more of a queen.”
“I don’t doubt that for one moment,” Caelum replies as his eyes fall to my reddened mouth.
I shift in my seat and gaze down at my plate. “I’m supposed to be learning about what magic I have, if any. But I guess we have some time. It might be nice to just relax. Not have to worry about the whole ‘vengeful ruler’s impending doom’ business.”
Caelum chews and swallows. “I’m sure you possess some incredible magic. You just haven’t had the need for it yet. A lot of times, powers stay dormant until they are called. I just hope I’m around when you unleash it.” He smirks at me.
I sigh. “It’s weird because I’ve always been strong and confident in who I am. But here, I feel lost and weak, like trying to find my way in the dark.”
His grin fades. “You’ve been through a lot. I don’t know how I’d feel if I was suddenly thrust into some foreign world. I think you’ve shown considerable strength, all things considered.” His gaze drops to the table and remorse ripples off him.
Without a thought, I slide my hand over his. “Thank you. And it’s okay. We all face challenges, right?”
His eyes lock onto mine. “Some more than others.”
I squeeze his hand before picking up my fork. I stab at the tender vegetables on my plate. “It’s been several months, and I still don’t know much about you. Care to enlighten me?”
He clears his throat. “There’s not much to tell. And why would you want to get to know someone who delivered you to this prison?”
I gaze at him. “Because I’m trying to change. Anger and bitterness weren’t exactly doing me any favors. I’m here by choice now. And I’d like to know who Caelum is behind that obnoxiously dazzling grin.”
I give him a coy smile, hoping to lighten his mood. He exhales and relents to my request, pushing his plate out of the way as he leans forward to rest his elbows on the table.
He looks at me with an intensity that makes me suck in air. “I grew up in the Shadows, not far from where I live now, in the canyons. It was just me and my parents, who were good to me. Good to each other. I loved them very much.” His eyes sadden.
“Both served in King Caledor’s army. But they became human sympathizers and when the rebellion broke out, they fought on the rebel side.
And they were killed for it. By that time, I had also taken ranks in the king’s army.
When I learned my parents were killed, I came straight here.
I needed to help Arc in whatever way I could to keep his vile father from returning.
I couldn’t let my parents’ deaths be in vain. ”
My throat bobs as I imagine a young Caelum and his loving family. “I’m sorry for your loss.” I don’t know what else to say.
He gives me a half-hearted smile. “Thank you.” His hands clench tightly in front of him. “I’ve thought about them often over the years and wonder if they’d be disappointed in me for what I’ve done here.”
“There’s no point in thinking that way. You’re only hurting yourself.”
His eyes meet mine with a heavy sadness. “You’re right, but if I pretend that what I’ve done is nothing more than a duty, that makes me just as much of a monster as the king.”
I sigh. “Caelum, I don’t know you well, but I think I can read a person’s aura pretty well. And I can tell you just don’t have a malicious bone in your body. Everything is complicated. Things aren’t black and white.” I take a deep inhale. “And I don’t hate you.”
And it’s true. I don’t.
His eyes lift to mine. “I don’t deserve your kindness.”
I chuckle. “I never said I was kind. I just don’t hate you.” A smile spreads across my face.
He grins down at the table and shakes his head. When he lifts it again, he’s lighter. “That’s my story. What about yours?”
My eyebrows lift, not expecting the conversation to shift to me. I like to talk, sure, but not usually about myself.
I shrug. “When you’re in a fantasy world with magic and fairies, my life seems very uninteresting.”
His head tilts to the side as he leans a fraction closer to me. “I think you’re interesting.”
I hold his gaze before sighing. “I guess we have something in common because I’m an only child, too.
My parents are great. Kind. Loving. They adopted me from another country when I was a baby.
They never hid the fact that I wasn’t their biological child, which became pretty obvious as I got older.
” My eyes drop to the table and a sense of betraying my family’s love washes over me.
“I can’t explain it, because as much as I love them and know they love me, I’ve always had this strong desire to know where I came from.
Who I came from. I wanted siblings for the longest time.
And then I met Rory, and she became a sister to me.
I always wanted to travel back to the country I was born in.
Try to search down my biological family.
But I’ve constantly found an excuse not to.
I’d say it’s not the right time or I can’t afford to make the trip.
I’ve learned how to distract myself by chasing the next adventure or falling for some stupid boy. ”
I take a breath. “But really, I’m scared. Scared to learn I wasn’t wanted.” My voice cracks and the flood of tears that well in my eyes startles me.
I’ve felt this way for a long time, but never said it out loud. Not even to myself.
Caelum’s large, warm hand wraps over mine, and I look up into his soft eyes. “Anyone would be a fool not to want you.”
My heart swells in my chest. I don’t know how to process his words. Maybe it’s my newfound vulnerability. Or maybe it’s the fae wine I’ve been guzzling down, but I voice my question. “What are you trying to do? What’s your angle here?”
He recoils as if I’ve slapped him. “What do you mean?”
I swallow down my emotions, and my walls slide up around me. “Why are you putting in so much effort to get to know me? Did Arc put you up to this?” I glare at him.
His brow furrows and his jaw clenches. “I’m not his puppet.
Not everything is about him. I may have devoted the last four centuries to serving him, but I’m more than that.
And I thought you’d want to be, too. Want to be seen as more than just another prisoner.
And I see you, Camryn. I see you for all that you are and I’m sitting here, in front of you, asking for more. And Arc is not.”
He pushes away from the table and rises to his feet. His wings rustle behind his back as if releasing his frustration.
“Yet you’re so quick to leave,” I snap.
He leans forward, pressing his wide palms to the table. “You know where to find me. And if you need me, all you have to do is let me in.”
His amber eyes burn into me before he turns on his heels and disappears into the dim hallway.
I exhale and pinch the bridge of my nose. Nice work, Camryn. You always know how to keep the good ones at a distance.
Several minutes pass before I rise to my unsteady feet and trudge up the stairs to my room. I hesitate outside the door, contemplating knocking on Caelum’s door to apologize. But I don’t know if I’m ready to open my heart up yet. So I slink into my room and fall onto the bed.
Without bothering to undress, I slip beneath the covers and stare up at the ceiling. But my sight lands on the odd chandelier with shackles above my bed. Bile rises in my throat at the thought of Arc using it on his captives.
Then my mind drifts to Caelum and how I can never imagine him being so rough with a woman. His large warrior form is overshadowed by his warm aura and I close my eyes at the thought of being in his arms. Wrapped in that dream, I let myself succumb to the respite of my unconsciousness.