Chapter 9
CHAPTER NINE
Deirdre
I paced back and forth in front of the door, my hands clammy, my heartbeat thumping too quickly. It had been hours since Liora left.
Where was she?
With a transporter rod, it wouldn't have taken more than minutes to go back to my home. When Liora had returned with food, I gave her exact directions from my home to the opposite side of the mountain where we had fought Kane.
I tugged at my hair, yanking on the strands. What if something happened to Boots and that's why she hasn't returned?
What if Kane learned of what she was doing for me, and not only did he torture Liora, but I was going to be next?… Was I foolish to ask for such a request? I bit at the hangnail on my thumb, ripping it out along with the skin.
Images of shadow blades stabbing Liora raced through my thoughts.
How many innocents would die because of my choices?
No, Kane couldn’t be that cruel. Could he?
I remembered how he’d stood by as I drowned in the pond.
Everything I knew about the immortal fae king had transformed over the years. Growing up, I thought he was this magical, handsome king, destined to be mine, until he’d denied me and proclaimed he hated all humans… And now…I wasn’t sure which truth I believed anymore.
“Arghh.” I screamed into the empty room, frustrated about my magic being inaccessible and furious that I had failed to escape Kane…
This was all for nothing. Crispin died for nothing!
My legs gave out, and I dropped to the floor. The cold stone pressed against my knees, sending a raking chill through me. Hugging myself, I rocked back and forth, desperate for comfort.
I was alone, and no one was coming to save me.
A brown mouse ran alongside the wall, most likely searching for food.
Its tiny whiskers twitched, and it froze after seeing me.
“Better if someone eats.” Finding the strength to stand, I went to the table and took one biscuit, then crept to where the mouse had stopped.
“Are you hungry?” Taking a piece, I kneeled and held out the food. “It’s all right.”
The mouse squeaked, its whiskers twitching, then slowly moved closer until it was within range and nibbled at the biscuit. I wondered how the fae treated mice and rats. If they saw them as another creature or treated them like vermin, like the priests in the temple I’d grown up in.
Placing the biscuit down, I watched the mouse pick up the rest and drag it back toward the wall and through a little crack.
The doorknob turned, followed by the clicking of the lock. My handmaiden appeared, head bowed.
“Did you bring Boots?” Scrambling to my feet, I brushed the crumbs off my dress, hope blooming in my chest.
“I did. He's in the stables.”
Holding a hand to my chest, I sighed. Boots. My precious, beloved donkey. I might be a prisoner in a tower, but at least he was safe.
Liora didn't smile, and that sudden burst of relief dissipated.
“What's wrong?”
She kept her head bowed, the hood of her cloak hiding her face.
“What is it?”
“I'm sorry, my lady. We were unable to find him.”
I didn’t question who she meant. There was only one ‘him’ that mattered. “I don't understand.”
She lifted her head, and the sympathy in her lavender gaze made me want to vomit. “We searched the area but only found traces of blood and this.”
She pulled a scrap of white fabric from her pocket, and my breath caught. The edge of the handkerchief had been ripped, but there was no mistaking the uneven stitching. It had been a clumsy attempt at a birthday gift for Crispin.
I held a hand to my mouth, the sob ripping through me. “Where did you find that?”
“Near the woods. We believe a wolf may have dragged the body away. There was–”
I held up my hand, shaking my head. “I don't want to hear any more.”
A sharp ringing filled my ears, my vision blurring as the room swam. I reached for the wall but stumbled.
“My lady!” She grabbed my waist and my arm, holding me steady.
My hands went numb, my heart constricting to a point I couldn't breathe.
“Let's go outside. You can see Boots,” she said.
“I thought I wasn't allowed outside without the collar?”
“That is correct.”
I shook my head. “No, no.”
My breaths hitched, becoming more choppy. I wobbled over to the table and gripped the wooden chair for support, everything spinning.
His body is gone?
Horrifying images of wolves attacking Crispin spun through my mind.
This can’t be happening. This can’t be real.
Closing my eyes, I imagined this was all a dream. A horrid nightmare and I just needed to wake up.
“You don't have to wear it the entire day,” Liora said, reminding me of the torturous reality that was now my life. “We can't bring a donkey up here. It doesn't mean that you're giving up.”
“Yes, it does,” I said, turning to her, wiping my eyes. “The moment I put that collar on my neck means that he's won. How can I give up so easily?”
She placed a hand on top of mine. “I know this is very frightening and I am sorry for your loss, but you need to be strong.”
“Why are you being so nice?” I asked, yanking away from her. “You’re fae. You belong to him.”
She blinked, and for the briefest moment, her pupils transformed into slits so similar to a cat’s. Or a snake’s. After blinking again, her eyes returned to normal. It happened so quickly I almost didn't see it. Was I hallucinating from all the stress?
“He may be my king, but he does not own me just like he will never own you.”
I rubbed my nose and face, pushing back my hair, trying not to look like such a mess. Even though that’s exactly what I felt like.
“Think of Boots and how scared he is and how happy he will be to see you. Yes, your power will be dampened, but only while you're outside and if you show the king you will follow the rules, you won't have to wear this for long and you certainly won't wear it once you're queen.”
I looked at the wooden box.
Boots.
Liora was right. I needed to see him just for a little while. I opened the wooden box and picked up the leather collar. It didn't seem like much, and yet this powerful stone could bind any magic user.
There was a strange metal latch to the back with a keyhole. “Who has the key to this?” I asked.
“I'm sure His Majesty does.”
“Wonderful. So not only do I have to wear it to go anywhere, but he's the only one who can take it off.”
How could I possibly agree to this? Not only would my magic be snuffed out, but the one responsible for Crispin’s death would have complete control of me, making escape utterly unattainable.
Gripping the beautiful, yet binding necklace, I thought of my options…
I miss Boots. I need to see him and he needs to know that I’m here.
Tears in my eyes, I handed the collar to Liora. “I'm only doing this to see my donkey and make sure he's okay.”
“Of course,” she said, taking the choker from me.
I lifted my hair. She wrapped it around my neck, and the moment the clasp latched, my power disappeared. It had been muted before, not being able to sense the grass or the trees, and that strange feeling changed to an empty hollowness.
“And I see you dressed yourself,” Liora commented.
“Almost. I couldn’t tighten all the straps.”
She began tying the remaining strings on the back of the dress.
All the clothes at the temple were very simple frocks.
I brushed my hands down the smooth yellow and green brocade material.
Back home, many women wore beautiful dresses like this.
I had never worn anything of this quality.
The thick fabric had little stitches of roses and ivy, intricately detailed patterns that highlighted all the curves of a woman.
It made me sick.
Dressed in fine attire while my husband’s body is some beast’s meal.
“Sit, my lady, and I can put your hair back.”
Since my wavy, thick hair was difficult to deal with, I tried to keep it braided or coiled. Sitting in the chair, I stared at the reflection in the oval mirror above the table. The tip of my nose was red and my big, round eyes had shadows around them.
Liora picked up a brush with thick bristles and brushed my long hair, taking pieces and braiding them until half of my hair had been braided up and arranged in a crown; the rest hung past my shoulders. She then took a perfume bottle and spritzed a little on me.
Long ago, I had imagined a moment like this. Primped and beautified for a king. To rule by his side as an equal, our power and love bringing balance back to the world. Yet, so far, our encounter had brought nothing but loss.
Even wearing a braided crown couldn’t disguise the puffiness around my eyes or the numbness behind them.
“You don't need a dash of makeup,” Liora said, dusting her hands off on a cloth. “The natural coloring of your lips is the perfect shade of pink and those thick black lashes of yours… Well, some of the fae nobles here will probably be very jealous.”
She stared and I knew what she was thinking. The same thing I had when first seeing Kane. We both had thick dark brows and a stubbornness to our expression. I hated we had anything in common.
“Are you ready to go downstairs?” Liora asked.
“No, but I will.”
She moved to the door, which was still unlocked, and we walked down the spire steps.
I had been unconscious for the walk here and had no concept of the layout of this place.
The enormous stone walls and the echoing sound of our footsteps were so different from the cozy cottage that I had spent the past year in.
Instead of the melody of nature enveloping me, the cold silence of stone filled my ears.
I followed her down the winding spire until we landed on what I assumed was the main floor.
Two guards stood on opposite sides of the large arched entryway.
They were dressed in golden scale armor that covered them from head to toe.
Gold and black masks covered the tops of their faces and connected to a helmet that curved around their pointy ears.
The twin guards said nothing as we passed.
“The stables are near the servants’ quarters and kitchens,” she said. “This way.”