Chapter 21 Lennox
LENNOX
More than half an hour later, Luka and I made our way downstairs, hand in hand. Finding everyone else had already begun eating without us.
“You can thank me later,” Luce started before we could sit down. “If it wasn’t for me, Nico would have interrupted the two of you.” She popped a piece of fruit into her mouth.
“I warned them!” Nico protested.
“Thank you, Luce,” I said before Nico could delve any deeper into his side of the argument.
I really was thankful—for all of them. I needed extra time with Luka.
For the distraction from my mind when he saw my scars.
I hadn’t even let myself look at them yet.
I wasn’t ready to deal with what happened with Adreona, not yet.
I knew I’d need to, but not yet. Now—now I wanted to enjoy being reunited with my family.
Luka held out my chair so I could sit before taking the seat next to me. “Thank you all,” I tucked my hair behind my ear, “For coming for me and getting Nol out of there.” I glanced at my brother.
“How are you doing? I’m sorry I haven’t been able to see you yet.” Guilt washed over me. Fuck. He had been a captive for three years, and I hadn’t even thought to check in on him when I woke.
“I’m fine.” He pushed his food around his plate. “Luce and Kara have hardly left my side, and you have no reason to feel guilty for being unconscious.”
“I’m assuming you’ve met everyone?”
“I have.” Nol brows rose. “It’s quite the group you’ve assembled here, Len.”
“She didn’t assemble us, we forced ourselves on her,” Nico countered. “But now she loves us.” He leaned over, throwing his arm over my shoulder and pressing a kiss to my cheek. “I missed you, L.”
“I missed you too, Nico.” He squeezed me tight before letting me go.
I met Declan’s stare from across the table. “You kept your promise.”
His wings twitched behind him. “I told you I intended to.” There was a slight lilt to his lips as he spoke.
“What promise?” Luka asked.
“He promised me we’d be together again soon.”
“So she could tell you everything she didn’t get to tell you. She wanted us to relay her message after Luce knocked you out, but I told her she’d have to tell you herself.”
I kicked him under the table, but the bastard didn’t even flinch.
Luka rested his arm across the back of my chair. “And did you? Tell me everything?”
“In less words, but yes.”
“She confessed her love for you,” Nico cooed.
“It was pretty romantic,” Kara agreed.
“And dramatic.” Luce crossed her arms.
“I hate you all.” I threw a piece of bread at my sister. “You finally get me back, and this is how you treat me?”
The table went quiet, causing my stomach to clench. “I meant that as a joke.”
“I know,” Kara said quietly. “But we need to talk about it.”
Luka placed a hand on my thigh. “Is there anything you can tell us now? Anything important you might have learned?”
I nodded, pushing away the memories of my blood splattering across Adreona’s office. Of her blade piercing into my brother’s thigh. Of all the innocent lives lost at my hand.
“It goes a lot deeper than we realize,” I started.
They all listened as I recalled what I had learned from Adreona and Lorenzo.
Luka didn’t act a bit surprised to find out about his uncle’s involvement.
The only emotion he showed was the tightening of his fist and the straightening of his shoulders.
I knew he never liked Lorenzo, but it was still his family. His uncle.
I felt strongly about Lorenzo and he wasn’t my uncle. I’d give Luka time to process now, but I’d press him about it later.
And I’d tell him exactly how I got the scars on my back. I’d tell them all, but not now. Not today. I wasn’t ready yet.
“Where do we go from here?” Kara asked, tearing my thoughts back to the present. “What’s our next move?”
“We have to find some way to stop the Vanir and the Panateia once and for all,” Luka declared.
“If we don’t, they’ll never stop,” I added.
“First, we need to get back to Alethens. Your people need to know you are alive and well, that you’ve been rescued,” Declan said.
Everyone nodded in agreement. “You’ll need to send out a message,” Luce added. “Everyone was so receptive to getting you back, in helping us find you. I wonder if we could get them to continue to help us.”
“Do you think that would work?” I looked to Declan.
The harpy shrugged. “It’s worth a try. The more people we have behind us the better. Especially now that we know the Panateia and Vanir are working together. Who knows how many they have in their combined organizations.”
“But a message to the courts isn’t good enough,” Kara mused. “We need to go there ourselves, convince their leaders. If we can convince the leaders of each court to side with us, in theory, their people should follow them.”
“But what is our end goal here?” Nico asked. “War?”
“If it comes to it, yes,” I said. “I don’t want to put my people through that, but if that’s what has to be done I’ll do it. I’ll do it to save the vampire race and all the innocent people Adreona continues to terrorize.”
Luka placed a hand on my thigh and squeezed. I wasn’t back there. I was out. I was safe.
And I would fucking kill that bitch.
It had been three days since I’d been reunited with my family. We’d arrived back in Alethens yesterday. In a few days, I’d face my people.
But before I faced my people, I had to face myself first.
I took a deep breath and dropped the towel, letting it fall to the ground at my feet. Droplets from my damp hair slid down my naked body as I stood in front of the mirror. I took the hand mirror from the vanity, holding the golden handle as I turned.
I held up the small mirror over my shoulders and forced myself to look in the reflection.
Scars covered the entire expanse of my back. From this view, it didn’t look like there was a single strip of unmarred skin.
I could feel the phantom sting of the whip on my back.
I made it out, I reminded myself as I took a quivering breath.
The water dripping down my skin felt too similar to blood. I could feel the panic crawling up my throat.
The mirror slipped from my hand. The glass shattered across the bathroom floor as I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle my sobs.
But I couldn’t stop them. I fell to the floor, wrapping my arms around my knees and hiding my face as I let the tears fall.
How had I let that happen? How had I let them treat me like that? I was Lennox Adair and they used me as a whipping pole.
I didn’t hear the door opening, only Luka’s voice softly calling my name. I didn’t look up. I couldn’t look at him.
When he saw my back in the tub—I’d never felt such shame. Shame that I let someone do that to me.
A towel wrapped around my shoulders, cradling me in warmth as Luka sat at my side. He didn’t say anything. He pulled me against him and I let myself fall into him, I let him hold me as my sobs continued to wrack my body.
He didn’t say anything. Not a word as he alternated between stroking my arm and placing kisses on my forehead.
Eventually, my tears stopped, but I didn’t move.
“Do you want to tell me what happened?”
I took a deep breath. I was already rubbed raw, what was a little bit more pain? “When I refused to follow her orders, Adreona ordered them to whip me.”
I could feel Luka stiffen. “The one time she would whip me within a couple of lashes of passing out, only to stop to let me recover enough before beginning again.”
“Lennox—” His voice was rough.
“I held strong when they did it, I tried so hard not to show weakness. But now—Luka—I wasn’t strong at all was I? I let them do that to me and now I’ve got the scars on my back to remind me for the rest of my life how weak I was to let that happen.”
“Fuck, Lennox. You think those scars make you weak?” He placed a kiss on my shoulder. “I think they are a reminder of how strong you are. They are a reminder of what you survived.”
I wanted to believe his words, but I didn’t think I had it in me. I had been putting up a strong front since we’d be reunited, but I couldn’t do it anymore.
“I’m so tired.”
“And that’s okay, you’ve been through a lot. You can take a moment to break down. I think you’re due.”
I managed a half-hearted laugh.
“Tonight, for as long as you need, fall apart. I don’t think that makes you weak, it makes you strong, knowing when you need a break—knowing when you need to the time to break down, to breathe, that makes you so fucking strong, Lennox.
” He kissed the top of my head. “Don’t get me wrong, I know you’re entitled to get revenge first, but Sweetheart, I will fucking fight you for it.
I will delight in seeing those monsters die for daring to lay a hand on what is mine. ”
The voices of my people rang out from behind the closed double doors. They were all gathered, waiting for me in the front courtyard. Ready to welcome their High Queen back home.
But the speech I had planned was more than a welcome home address.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” Luka asked as he pulled me to his side. His hand rested on the marred skin of my bare back. The dress I wore was backless—an intentional choice. I would not hide my scars today.
I nodded. “As ready as I can be. They need to know. I need to get them on our side, this is the only way how.”
My speech would be recorded and sent to the heads of every court in Lethenia for them to share with their own people.
To share what I had endured.
I would use what they did to me as a weapon against them.
Luka and I had discussed it at length. He listened while I debated back and forth with myself on what I wanted to do the day after my breakdown.
Ultimately, I decided the memories could only hold pain if I allowed them to. By letting them out I was releasing them, setting myself free from the pain. From the torture.
I knew when I woke up I needed to share with my people what I had been through. They needed to know. They needed to know what they were fighting against.
Why we were fighting.
The golden crown resting on my head felt heavy as we waited behind the doors. My crown was a twin to the one Luka wore on his own head, another reminder that I wasn’t in this alone.
He’d be by my side the entire time.
I took his hand in mine, squeezing it tight before nodding to the guard.
The doors opened and I squinted against the sunlight as Luka led me out onto the balcony.