19. Alessia
Istare down my father, who sits at the opposite end of the long, ornate conference table. The royal advisors, seated at random on the other two sides of the table, stare back and forth between the two of us, their faces graying as our silence continues. My father’s face is a concerning shade of purple.
Me, on the other hand? I’m seeing red.
“What do you mean, I’m not allowed to act?” I demand.
My father rises from his chair, the wrinkles in his forehead deepening as he stares at me, his left eye twitching as he says, “Because I said so, Alessia.”
“That’s a bullshit answer,” I snarl.
“It’s my answer, nonetheless. I refuse to let you act on Krasta’s behalf.”
I gaze at him, disgust curdling in my gut. I’m not sure how much of my dwindling respect for my father remained before this conversation began, but my respect is all but gone now. Just the sight of him has my blood boiling. His face is stoic and strong, unphased by my demands. He holds his shoulders back and his head high, but it only appears as the arrogance of an old fool in my eyes. His salt-and-pepper hair is thinning, and his muscle structure withering away. He’s transitioned from the traditional dress of young men to the robes of older Celestians to hide his embarrassing decline. He acts as though he’s the tough, wise ruler he’s always been, but beneath his thin veneer, he’s just an aging father with an obsession over the status quo.
The status quo will make us weak if we hold on to it for too long, though. Any ruler worth their salt understands this, but not him. He was not cut from the same cloth as me. Neither was my mother, the woman who gave into grief after the birth of a stillborn third child. Whereas my parents before me were benevolent peacemakers, I am a queen who believes in action and calculated risks.
This, however, is not a risk. This is missionary work to save a dying allied nation.
“How dare you,” I seethe, squeezing my hands into fists. “How dare you sit there on your dusty gilded throne, calling the shots from the shadows when you’ve never stepped into the light? You haven’t seen the suffering of Krasta’s people with your own eyes. You aren’t qualified to tell me what’s right for this country anymore. I will not stand by and watch as you invoke our age-old methods of maintaining normalcy while our allies suffer and die at the hands of faulty leadership!”
“You are a mere child claiming the title of a nation’s leader,” my father replies coolly, dark eyes flashing. “You know nothing of the pressure of royal decision making, the weight of people’s lives in your hands, or the impossible choices that lead to suffering no matter the road you choose. I will not have you march into another country and incite a war!”
“I’m not marching! I’m sending in missionaries!” I snap.
“And what happens after that? What is your grand plan, Alessia?”
“I will continue to provide aid until we gather intel on the situation in Krasta’s capital. I will send communications to their leaders when we discover a chance to get in touch with them. If we can work with the other leaders to dissolve this civil war, then we will reach a peaceful conclusion to an armed conflict, and their nation will be saved!”
“You are na?ve!” my father shouts, slamming his hands onto the table. Gemma and the other advisors jump in their seats. “Do you really think your communications will be received with joy? Krasta’s leaders are selfish, Alessia. They will think you’re trying to manipulate them into believing you’re on their side, only for you to march in and steal their throne, just like their rival factions are attempting to do right now! Your communications, if they can even reach the royal family safely, will be seen as a declaration of war!”
“You don’t know that! You didn’t even know civil war consumed our allies!” I growl. “Don’t act like you know more about the situation than I do!”
“I don’t need to know more to understand our place in this! Stay out of Krasta, Alessia!”
I glare daggers at him. “You willingly accept the starvation of our allies, then? You accept and condemn the collapse of an entire country?”
“That’s not what I’m saying.”
“That is exactly what you are saying. A decision not to make a move is still a decision, and it’s a decision that speaks volumes about our ability to support our allies,” I point out. “If you’re going to roll over and play dead while Krasta goes belly-up, then how can our other allies ever come to trust us? We will set the precedent of abandonment of our allies in dark times, a precedent that will destroy our reputation for centuries!”
My father’s lip curls into a snarl. “That’s not what will happen, and you know it! Nations stay out of internal conflicts all the time! We cannot go around solving everyone’s problems, or we will never solve our own!”
“What problems do we have that we have not already solved?” I question, gesturing at the open windows. “Look down there! Our city thrives, we protect our farmers, our merchants succeed, and our crime rate is at an all-time low. We support even our lowest-earning citizens with social programs, and the Holy Church is involved in almost everything going on in the city. We have a perfect balance between religious and political power in our nation, and our preparations for famines and natural disasters are almost overkill. What problems do we have at home that prevent us from sparing the innocent civilians of our neighboring nations?”
My father opens his mouth to speak, but I hold up a hand to stop him. If I hear one more word come out of his mouth, I’m liable to punch him straight through that window. Instead, my gut simmering with rage, I gesture for the royal advisors to speak.
“You have the floor. Discuss our options. We will reconvene tomorrow morning to finalize plans.”
With that, I storm out of the conference room. Mina, who has been patiently waiting outside this last half hour, runs to greet me.
“Alessia! How did it go?” she asks.
I glower at the floor. “Great. Absolutely wonderful.”
Mina sighs, folding her arms over her chest. “What did that old man of yours say this time?”
“Only that I’m na?ve, that I’ll start a war, and that we’ve got too many problems here to help Krasta.” I scoff. “What an idiot. He’s making shit up just so he can sit back and do nothing.”
“He’s done just about nothing since his wife died, that’s for sure,” Mina remarks. “But never mind him. We knew he’d be against you from the start. Let’s discuss what you want to do, not what he wants to do.”
“Sure. Just let me get cleaned up first,” I sigh, glancing at my travel-stained clothes. “It’s been a few days since I properly bathed.”
“Of course. I’ll run ahead and draw a bath for you.”
While Mina runs ahead, I think back to that last time I bathed, remembering the way Aurelio’s hands felt on my body. I feel my heart flutter in my chest, recalling his whispers in my ear and his soft lips trailing kisses down my back. Just remembering the feeling has my whole body tingling with excitement.
Well, that’s one way to forget about my dumb old dad,I think to myself, skipping along the corridors.
I wonder where Aurelio is now, and if he’s having a good time catching up with Kharu. We’ve only been apart three hours now, and already, I miss him. Annoying as it is, I’m falling head-over-heels for him, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.
Oh, well. At least we’re married, so I don’t have to worry about him leaving me.
I open the door to my bedroom when I arrive, a smile working itself across my face as I see my familiar bookshelves and plants all over the place. It seems that Gemma’s daughter has been watering my plants like I asked, as none of them are withering away. With the sunlight streaming in through my many windows and a nice breeze circulating through the space, it’s perfectly warm, humid, and quiet for me to rest my weary body and mind. Once I’m clean, I’ll be able to pass out for a good twelve hours, forgetting for a moment that I’m walking right back into a world of responsibilities and fighting my dad for every decree.
I walk up my spiral staircase and into my bathroom, admiring for what must be the millionth time how beautiful the sunlight is sparkling on the marble walls and tiled floor. The porcelain soaking tub, which Mina has already filled with hot water and a colorful array of bubbles, sits exactly in the center of the room, with the toilet and sink situated against the walls in either direction behind it. There’s a small changing area on the wall closest to me with a chair next to the screen, and this is where Mina sits, awaiting my arrival.
“Everything’s ready for you, Alessia,” she says.
“Thank you, Mina.”
I get undressed and climb into the soaking tub, sighing with relief as the warm waters release the tension in my body and wash away the grossness from three days’ worth of traveling. I scrub the soapy water into my hair, letting myself float on the surface while the soap works its magic.
“Wow, have I missed this,” I remark.
“I wondered if you were missing home. You’ve never been away for that long,” Mina says.
“I missed home, but not like I thought I would,” I admit. “I felt like part of my home came with me, seeing as Daelia and Aurelio came with me.”
There’s a beat of silence, then I hear a tiny, muffled squeak of laughter. I frown for a moment. Then, I realize my mistake, and I sit bolt upright in the tub, sloshing some of the water off the sides.
“Oh my gods, I didn’t mean—Aurelio isn’t—Ugh, you know what I mean, Mina!”
She can’t hold it back anymore. Mina absolutely guffaws, nearly falling out of her chair because she’s laughing so hard.
“Oh, man, and to think, I was worried you’d missed your honeymoon. This might as well have been your honeymoon, huh, Alessia?”
“It’s not like that!” I protest.
“Then what was that look on your face when you said his name?”
I open my mouth to refute her observation, but I catch a glimpse of my reflection on the edge of the tub, and I realize my cheeks are a bright pink. Turning away so Mina can’t see me, I say, “Look, it’s not what you think, alright? I just got to know him better, and he saved my life out there, so I’m appreciative!”
“Sure. We’ll go with that,” Mina chuckles. “So, about this plan of yours. What are you hoping to do?”
I’m grateful for her wonderful subject-change timing. It’s like she knows exactly how far to push me before I genuinely get upset, leaving me feeling seen instead of attacked.
“I’m hoping to send missionaries to Krasta to relieve their hunger crisis. Aurelio had the wonderful idea of sending in knights to both protect the missionaries and assist in the manual labor necessary to restart Krasta’s farm fields, so I’d like to do that, too.”
“I’m assuming the issue your father had was that Krasta will see that as a threat,” Mina says.
“Kind of. The civil war dividing the capital will prevent the missionary work from being noticed. My idea was to gather intelligence on the civil war and the royal family’s whereabouts so we could get in touch with them. I want to stop the bloodshed in their capital and bring a peaceful resolution to the conflict so our work in the farming villages doesn’t go to waste. Their soldiers will be desperate if they run out of food, see, and I don’t want them to think they can take what they want from the villages by force. Unfortunately, that is what my father believes will start a civil war: contacting the royal family.”
“While he has a good point, there is a more surefire option.”
I frown. “There is?”
“You could march in and take the capital by force.”
I whip around to look at her so fast that another inch of water sloshes out of the tub. “What?”
“You heard me. I’m dead serious, Alessia.”
I search Mina’s face, but she’s absolutely right: there’s not a hint of doubt or regret in her expression. She’s smiling politely as ever, her full, round face full of joy like we’re arranging a child’s birthday party instead of contemplating international invasion.
“The way you can keep a straight face when we talk about this stuff is terrifying,” I say, shuddering. “This isn’t a lighthearted decision.”
“It’s not. But I can see how much being in that village affected you. I haven’t seen you that angry in a long time, the way you looked when you told me about your trip. You truly care for the people of Lihra and the rest of the citizens of Krasta that suffer from poor leadership.”
“Of course I do. I’m the leader of a nation myself. Leadership that poor have no excuse; it’s downright selfish.”
“Right. But you won’t be able to ask the royal family to step down, not nicely, anyway.”
“Yes, that would incite a war,” I confirm.
“Then if we can’t avoid conflict, we should initiate it, right?” Mina points out. “By marching in and subjugating Krasta, however temporary the subjugation may be, you’ll shut down a civil war, re-institute their political system, and bring the economy back to life all in one fell swoop.”
My heart beats a little faster in my chest. “You know what, Mina? I should have appointed you to be a royal advisor a long time ago. You’re totally right. This is the best way to mitigate casualties.”
“We may lose some of our own,” Mina warns.
“I know. But think about how many people must have died in Krasta’s civil war by now,” I remind her. “The sooner we step in, the sooner the bloodshed stops. Plus, if we don’t step in at all, who’s to say Krasta won’t fall into the hands of an evil dictator that wishes to invade their neighboring countries? I don’t want to see their country go through that if I can help it.”
“This is a calculated risk, one that you can’t take lightly. If you do this, some of our people may resent you for getting involved and wasting precious lives and resources.”
“If that’s the case, I’ll only take volunteers,” I say, setting my jaw determinedly. “I don’t want to force anyone to march into Krasta’s territory if they’re unwilling. We have plenty of knights; those that prefer to stay out of it may stay behind and guard the borders.”
“A wonderful solution!” Mina chirps.
“There’s still one problem, though,” I say, my smile fading.
“What’s that?”
“It’s Daelia. There’s no way the Holy Church won’t send her in with the missionaries. If she’s in Krasta when it comes time to invade, she’ll stand in my way or die trying.”
Mina frowns. “That’s a serious problem, Alessia. If it comes down to it, would you let her stop you, or would you fight her, one on one, for all to see?”
Dread pools in my stomach. “That’s the bigger problem. I don’t know.”