28. Dallas
DALLAS
That cross. I’m not sure how long I sat there staring at that cross. The entire day was a whirlwind. The echoing of grinding metal and splintering glass haunted me as I sat there in the attic, straddling a chair with no bottom.
I stared at the cross where Deac once attached to Char.
“Hey,” Mace said from behind me, “you know where the big man is?”
“Who?” I asked mindlessly.
“Deac, Dallas. Do you know where Deacon is?”
His voice felt so far away. My God, putting Char up on that cross felt like ages ago.
“Is it about the vacations?” I asked.
I heard his footsteps padding toward me. “I decided to go to the public library, like Plug suggested. Took this little… box-thing he gave me.”
“That’s good.”
He snickered. “He told me to plug it in and it would mask what I was doing. But only temporarily. So I made sure to print out confirmations of everything.”
“Thanks.”
“Figured Deac might want hard copies or some shit.”
I held out my hand without moving my gaze from that cross. “I’ll take ’em, thanks.”
“You sure you’re okay?”
“Just give them to me, Mace,” I bit.
He dropped the papers into my hand, and I clenched my fist around them. I pulled them into my lap, dropping them down against my knee before I went back to losing myself in my thoughts. I needed to be somewhere else. Anywhere but the fucking world we found ourselves in.
We were too comfortable.
Axel would be so disappointed.
“Dallas,” Mace said.
I tilted my head. “Yes?”
“Answer me honestly and I’ll leave.”
I sighed. “Answer what?”
“How are you doing?”
I scoffed. “Mace, is anyone really okay right now? Honestly?”
I watched him move into my peripheral. Right out of the corner of my left eye. He walked over to the bed with silken sheets that weren’t touched in months, and perched himself right on the edge of it.
His stare was trained on me. “You and Bait were getting pretty close there over these last few months.”
I just shrugged, though. What the hell was I supposed to say? Yeah, I know?
Of course, I fucking knew.
Mace chuckled. “Where do you think Bait learned all that stealth shit he taught us?”
The shadow of a grin ticked my cheek. “He told me that one evening, you know.”
“Wait, what? Really? Since when?”
I finally pulled my eyes away from that cross and lobbed my head in Mace’s direction.
“A few months back. He was plastered off his ass and freshly fucked, and I made a quip about him being silent as a mouse, even in bed. Had no clue he even had someone up here until he came strutting out.”
Mace barked with laughter. “Sounds like him all right.”
I shook my head as I turned my attention back to that cross. “He just whipped right around on me and said, ‘military will do that to ya.’”
I saw Mace’s face tick with surprise. “Bait served? How the hell did we not know that?”
I nodded mindlessly. “Yep, Bait served, and none of his men will ever know what happened to him. They’ll never know what?—”
A beat of silence passed before Mace cleared his throat. “What do you think he did?”
Plug came bounding into the room with that dumbass grin on his face. “He was a sniper for the Marines, duh.”
Mace gawked. “Wait, are you for fucking real?”
That pulled a chuckle out of me. “Yeah, we’re for fucking real. I didn’t know you knew, Plug.”
“And I,” he said as he came to stand beside me, “didn’t know that you knew, either.”
I looked up at him. “Drunk and fucked?”
He barked with laughter. “That’s the only time Bait’s lips ever loosened.”
“He was always a sucker for thick women,” Rat said as he came strolling in as well.
God, it hurt so much, and yet it felt so good to talk about. “Remember that time when Bait first pledged, and he got three shots of tequila deep before kissing that bartender?”
Rat cackled. He actually, really cackled. “To this day, I still believe that’s how it all started. He buried his face right into that woman’s tits, and that sealed the deal for him.”
“No bones for me,” Mace said as he mocked Bait’s voice.
Rat lowered his voice to join in on the fun. “I like ’em to be pillows. Big, comfy pillows.”
Plug snickered. “And don’t even get me started on his obsession with ramen noodles.”
I shook my head as a smile crossed my face. “You know he ate so many of those for so long that he started having nosebleeds?”
Mace gawked. “Is that where those damned things came from all of a sudden?”
Gauge chuckled as he scooted into the room. “I had to send him back from a doctor’s appointment once because he randomly started bleeding on himself.”
My head fell back as laughter bubbled up my throat. “He came in with blood all down his white shirt, pissed as fuck that we didn’t have any bleach in the laundry room.”
Plug shook his head. “Like the man didn’t know where the fuck to go to buy some goddamn bleach himself.”
Gauge cleared his throat. “You know, there’s still some packs of ramen in the pantry.”
The laughter died down and the heaviness settled against my chest again. Our brother was gone. Our confidant. Our lookout. Our stealth operative. The one man you shouldn’t ever be able to get the jump on, and he was dead.
He was a message.
“If she can get to him, she can get to any of us,” I said.
Plug nodded his head. “I have to admit, it’s been on my mind.”
Mace stood. “You don’t think she?—”
I looked up at him. “Targeted Bait intentionally to send a message? Do you think just anyone could get the jump on a Marine sniper?”
“No,” Rat said with a shake of his head.
That’s when Gauge turned back toward the door. “Why don’t I go cook us up a big pot of ramen? You know, for Bait. We could sit and eat. Just take some time, you know? Time to process.”
“Processing is always good with food,” I said.
“Maybe put some vegetables in it? I’ve got some leftover steak that?—”
“No,” Rat said.
“No?” Plug asked.
“No,” he said as he shook his head, “if we’re gonna eat that cheap ass shit for Bait, then it’s gonna be how he ate it. Noodles, broth, and buttered toast. Nothing else.”
I peeked over at Gauge. “You got that?”
He started out the door. “Give me twenty minutes and I’ll be up.”
“And find Deacon if you can!” I called out after him. “I’ve got paperwork for him!”
“He’s still with Char, leave him alone!” Gauge yelled back.
“Of course he is,” I murmured.
“I wish we could bury him,” Rat grumbled beneath his breath.
“He deserves it,” Mace said.
But we couldn’t. His body was in pieces, or what was left of him at least. We’d never be able to fish out enough of him to warrant a burial.
However…
“We could hold a memorial service,” I said.
Plug nodded. “We could. You know, just right here on the property somewhere.”
“He loved this place,” Rat said.
A smirk crawled across Mace’s face. “Do you guys trust me?”
I scoffed. “The hell kinda question is that?”
“Just answer it, Dallas. Do you trust me?”
“Of course,” I said without hesitation.
He came and stood in front of me. “I’ve got a good idea, but I’m gonna need access to Bait’s bedroom. And maybe the rest of the evening to put things together.”
I furrowed my brow. “Why?”
And that’s when his grin turned into a full-blown smile. “Where do you think Bait kept all of his good guns, huh?”
We tried prying answers out of him, but all he kept saying was for us to trust him. So I gave the go-ahead for him to do whatever he needed to get into Bait’s room.
“I’m coming with you,” Rat said as he shoved himself to his feet. “There are some things that he didn’t like other people touching.”
I nodded toward the door. “Mace, take him with you.”
“Come on, Rat,” Mace said as he slung Rat’s arm over his shoulders, “let’s go get this show on the road.”
“You know I don’t need help, right?” he asked.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Mace said, “just humor me, okay? You’ve still got that limp.”
“And that concussion until the doctor clears you,” I said.
Rat rolled his eyes. “Whatever, I feel fine.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” we all said in unison.
Hearing Rat chuckle as he left the room was a great sound. Everything hurt nowadays. Everything ached. Even bones in places that I didn’t think had bones somehow ached like there were bones there to ache. Jesus, I wasn’t sure if that made any sense. Nothing made sense any longer.
I never felt so lost.
“All right,” Gauge said as the smell of food wafted in before him, “dinner is served.”
“Is it really dinner time?” I asked.
He smirked as he set the tray of bowls and buttered bread down on the mattress.
“Yep, it is,” was all he managed to say.
He passed out bowls and divvied out the bread. We crunched and ate to ourselves for a while, lost in the silence and monotony of eating. Even chewing hurt. Even swallowing hurt. Bait should’ve been there with us, enjoying his favorite meal with his crew.
“God, what are we gonna do?” I whispered to myself.
“What we always do,” Mace said as he walked back in with Rat.
“We’re gonna get that bitch,” Plug hissed.
“And we’re gonna get justice for Bait,” Gauge said.
“Any luck with his room?” I asked.
Rat shrugged as he accepted a bowl from Gauge. “You guys will see in the morning.”
“In the morning, huh?” Gauge asked with a smile.
“Yep,” Rat said as he looked down into his bowl.
I counted the seconds until he was brave enough to take a bite. Forty-two. He stood there and stared at his bowl of ramen for forty-two seconds before he picked up his spoon and took a bite.
And as he swallowed, I could’ve sworn I saw his eyes glistening.
“Thanks, Gauge. This is good,” Rat said.
“He’d approve,” Mace said.
“I’d like to think so,” Gauge said sadly.
We all fell back into our silent escapes, sucking down ramen and chewing on toast in an attempt to mourn and honor our friend. A friend we’d never get the chance to bury.
A sin someone would pay for before this was all said and done.