3. Gauge
GAUGE
“How the fuck did this happen!?”
All I knew was Plug’s leather jacket as I wrapped it up in my fists.
“Gauge, no!”
“Put him down!”
“Get his left arm!”
I hoisted that motherfucker against the wall and snarled. “How did it fucking happen, Plug?”
He shook his head quickly. “I don’t know. I swear, I don’t know how?—”
“TELL ME!” I bellowed.
“Gauge! For fuck’s sake!”
“Sweep his feet beneath him.”
“Hell no. I don’t wanna die today.”
I shook the man, watching his head bounce against the wall. “I won’t ask you again, Plug! How the fuck did that goddamn tracker get on my motherfucking bike!?”
White hot anger coursed through my veins. I felt hands on me. Small, flimsy, useless hands that clawed at my jacket. My nostrils flared as my face approached Plug. My grip on his jacket grew tighter as his body shivered. I’d kill him. If anything happened to Char, I’d kill him where he stood.
“How!?” I erupted.
“I-I-I I swear to God, Gauge, I don’t know.
But I’m going to find out,” he babbled as he shook his head, his feet dangling in midair as I slid his pathetic ass up that clubhouse wall.
“I won’t sleep, I won’t eat, I won’t do any fucking thing until I figure out how Marcie pulled the wool over our eyes.
It shouldn’t have happened. Gauge, do you hear me? It shouldn’t have happened.”
My entire body vibrated as people tried pulling me away from him. “We’ve been watching your stupid map this entire fucking time. It’s been running this entire fucking time!”
“I know!” he exclaimed. “I know it has, Gauge! And we’re gonna get her back. We aren’t gonna let her go down for this.”
“He’s right,” Dallas said.
His voice sounded so far off.
“We’re gonna get her back,” Deac said.
Was that his hand on my shoulder?
“Put him down, Gauge. He’s turning red, for fuck’s sake,” Rat said.
I got into Plug’s face and growled. “Figure it the fuck out, Plug, because your goddamn tracking device got her into this mess in the first place. And if Char pays the price for it? It’s your hide that’s next.”
“Gauge!” Deac exclaimed.
Plug nodded his head quickly. “Yes, yes. Of course. You know I wouldn’t?—”
“Yeah,” I said flatly as I dropped him, watching him crumble to the fucking floor like pussy, “sure.”
“Aaaaall right,” Mace said as he held his hands up and slid in between me and Plug, “just going to get him real quick.”
I stared at the wall with my fists balled up at my sides.
Mace dug that pathetic piece of shit out from beneath me as my nails broke through the skin of my palms. Plug gasped for air as Mace stumbled away with him.
I felt all eyes on me as I cracked my neck.
I brought my bloodied hands up to my chest, cracking my knuckles as I turned to face the clubhouse.
And with all eyes on me, I drew in a deep breath as I held my head high.
“No one makes another goddamn move until we say so! Understood!?”
The sea of heads nodded as Deac stared me down with that scowl on his face.
I always hated that fucking scowl.
“Good,” I grumbled as I stormed off.
I took the stairs three by three. I heard people trying to come after me, but Dallas was smarter than that.
He held back the crowd as I blazed a trail toward my room.
Red dripped over my vision as I slammed the door open so hard that the doorknob sliced through the plaster of the wall that caught it.
And as a howl of agony left my throat, I picked up my television from the dresser.
“Son of a fucking bitch!” I bellowed.
I threw the television against the wall and smiled as it shattered into a million pieces.
I tipped my dresser over, stomping on it and feeling the wood smash against the bottoms of my boots.
I lost all sense of space and time. Everything went black, and all I felt was the searing energy of my anger flooding its way through my muscles.
It filled the marrow of my bones. It consumed the entirety of my heart.
I could have stormed that fucking precinct, ripped that bitch’s head off her shoulders, and staked it on a goddamn pike with a fucking smile on my face.
I needed to get it out if I had any hope of focusing.
“That stupid cunt!” I snarled.
My fists slammed into the wall. I flipped my bed against the wall and used it as a punching bag until my knuckles bled. Blood trickled down to my wrist as I picked up my bedside table and slammed it through the window.
I shivered with pride as I heard it crash to the ground below.
“He’s throwing shit out the window, guys! Go check on him!”
I kept all of it inside. I stuffed all of it down into my soul and zipped it shut.
After all, it’s what Char deserved. She needed strength.
She needed stability. She needed someone she could rely on.
And now, when I had more anger than I knew what the hell to do with, she was nowhere in sight.
The woman who made me feel comfortable in my own emotions was gone.
Being arrested and charged for some shit she didn’t even do.
Something that was our responsibility. Sins that were ours to bear.
I couldn’t see anything but red.
I couldn’t feel anything but hatred.
“Chaaaaaaaaaar!” I damn near shrieked.
I picked up my wooden bedframe and broke the pieces over my knee.
I wielded the wood in my hands, slamming them against every surface just to feel the reverberations snake up my muscles.
Every single part of me locked up. Rage burned inside of me like a wildfire, consuming me until all I knew was the pain.
All I knew was the emptiness. All I knew was the heartache.
And when my anger finally let me come up for air, my eyes beheld the carnage around me.
“You missed a spot,” Deac said from the doorway.
I slowly turned and bared my teeth at the man. The sound that fell from my face sounded more like a rabid beast than a human being, but Deac was never swayed by shit like that. He was thick as stone, just like his father, and all he did was brandish a beer from behind his back.
“Here, boy,” he said with a mocking whistle, “catch.”
He lugged the glass bottle toward me, and I managed to unravel my fingers from the pieces of wood in my hand. Splinters dug into my palms as I caught the cold drink, and I popped the cap off with my teeth.
“Oh boy,” Dallas muttered as he came up to Deac’s side.
“Don’t mind if we join you,” Deac said as he cracked open a beer of his own.
I spat the cap of the beer bottle out and tipped the glass up to my lips.
The burn alone sedated the anger, exchanging the white-hot heat for a dull orange burn that worked its way down my throat.
I chugged through the pain, welcoming it like a soothing balm through my bone marrow.
I heard Deac and Dallas chugging with me as the cold locked up my muscles.
I pushed through the icy coldness, gulping the harsh liquid down until there was nothing left.
Something needed to hurt.
Something needed to pay for what was happening to the love of my life.
Even if it was me that paid for it.
I stumbled back against the windowsill and perched my ass against it. I polished off the last of my beer, then dropped the bottle to the ground. It tinked against the wall before rolling against the carpet, making its way toward one of the shards of wood that used to make up my dresser.
Christ, there wasn’t a standing piece of furniture in my bedroom any longer.
“Fucking hell,” I grumbled as I slid my hands down my face.
“You all right?” Deac asked.
I just scoffed, though. A question that stupid shouldn’t require a fucking answer.
“She’s strong, Gauge,” Dallas said as he came over to me and patted my shoulder, “she can get through this.”
“I know,” I muttered.
“I mean, for all we know, this is part of her plan, and she just never told us about it.”
I slowly looked up at him. “You really believe that bullshit?”
His lips curled down into a frown before he shook his head. “No, but it’s a nice thought.”
I harrumphed and returned my attention back to the wall.
I watched insulation float effortlessly in little pieces through the air as the air conditioning kicked on.
Not even the beer managed to pull my worried thoughts away from that beautiful woman, all cooped up in a holding cell that probably smelled like piss and regret.
“You were hard on Plug,” Deac said.
I clicked my tongue. “Not hard enough.”
“Gauge.”
I snapped my head toward him. “Deacon.”
He locked his stare with mine. “You were too hard on your brother. We would have never gotten this far without him.”
I scoffed as I stood. “Yeah? And Char wouldn’t be behind bars right now if it weren’t for his genius plan, either.”
Rat stuck his head through the doorway. “Nielson just—holy fuck.”
“Nielson what?” I asked quickly.
Rat whistled lowly as he came into the room. “Man, you really did a number on?—”
“What did Nielson say!?” I exclaimed.
“Hey!” Deac barked as he got into my face.
I puffed my chest out and held my head high, making sure he understood that if he swung, it’d be the last thing he fucking did. No one would keep me from Char. No one would divert my attention. They could focus on whatever bullshit they wanted. I wouldn’t pull my focus from her.
Not for a fucking millisecond.
“What did he say, Rat?” Dallas asked as Deac and I stared one another down.
Rat cleared his throat. “Uh, he said that Char is searching for a new lawyer. She doesn’t like the one who was appointed to her.”
That caught my attention, and I pulled away from Deac. “Why? What was wrong with her?”
Rat shrugged. “Nielson didn’t say. But he said that he tasked the lawyer she doesn’t want with creating a list of lawyers she’s going to choose from.”
I furrowed my brow as Dallas spoke. “You mean, she hasn’t even hired the bitch, and Char’s getting her to do her bidding?”
I barked with laughter as my head fell back. “Give her hell, Angel.”
“’Atta, girl,” Deac murmured.
And while Dallas continued chuckling to himself, I started for the door.
“Do I need to put protective detail on Plug?” Deac asked behind me.
I shook my head as I slipped by Rat. “Nope, he’s good. I should go talk with him, anyway.”
“Yeah, you should,” Deac said.
But goddamn it, he better have a fucking answer for us sooner rather than later.
Because I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to watch Char endure this.