Chapter 49 Reasons
Reasons
Asterious
He didn’t sleep at all. Partly because of the cold, but mostly because he didn’t trust Brenn or Veylan, and he never took his eyes off the hatch in case they decided to sneak down to Caramyn’s quarters. But he knew he’d have to rest eventually.
When an hour had passed, he emerged from the hatch and found Brenn tying down some rigging. He rubbed his hands together to warm them in the frozen morning air as he approached him.
“Ah, Your Highness, did you enjoy your nap?” Brenn spat out his mockery without even turning his back. “I do sincerely apologize that there’s no one here to bring you hot breakfast on a silver platter.”
Damn, this man was certainly going to be a pain.
Asterious ignored the comment, despite imagining slamming Brenn’s head into the railing. “I came to ensure we’re still departing as planned.” He scanned the deck and the helm. “I don’t see the captain.”
“Keep your crown on. He’s coming.”
“He’d better be.” Asterious grumbled, glancing at the captain’s door before taking a step closer to the ropes Brenn was rearranging and tugging on. “Need a hand with that?”
Brenn stopped his work and straightened to face Asterious with a hand still on the rigging.
“Do you know anything about sailing? Have you ever even left the comforts of your castle long enough to have the slightest idea of what it’s like out on these waters?
You’ll be most helpful by just staying out of the way. ”
“Have I angered you in some way, Brenn?” Asterious practically spat out his name, stepping forward.
“Only a bit,” Brenn snarled back. “It’s not easy for me to accept that I’m helping the son of the man responsible for imprisoning my entire village—my family—behind the Veil.”
“And I’m sorry for it. But that wasn’t my doing.” Asterious held his threatening gaze on Brenn, shifting his jaw as he leaned forward ever so slightly.
“Then will it be your undoing?” Brenn cocked his head, squinting from the rising sun’s light that illuminated his wind-chapped face beneath his hood.
“If you rule, are you going to break down that damn Veil and let the witches and the druids and the creatures your father despised return to these lands without persecution?”
Asterious was silent as he focused on the frost coating the ropes beside Brenn.
“That’s exactly what I thought.” Brenn shook his head and went back to working the tethers.
Asterious watched him, startled when he caught him moving his hand over the ropes, and sending them to work tying and untying themselves, weaving through the rigging as needed as his eyes glowed gold.
He’d never seen Spellbound druid magic before, but it was fascinating and unsettling all at once.
“You think I don’t want to free those people?
Of course I do. And I plan to, once I know how.
” Asterious said sternly, turning his back to the chilling wind.
“But no one knows how to break the Veil. And even if I figure it out, there could be dire consequences. It’s a giant living force of pure Shadow magic—breaking it could be catastrophic.
So, I can’t make promises of something I don’t understand yet. These things take time.”
“You can’t make promises because you don’t actually care.” Brenn secured a knot with his hands, his eyes returned to their normal brown color, and then he brushed past the prince to the other side of the ship.
Asterious wasn’t in the mood to argue. This fool was just that—a fool, and a bitter one to which he had nothing to prove.
Nothing to gain from indulging in his petty spite.
But he had everything to gain by making sure they arrived back to Magoth in one piece.
He leaned against the hull, blowing out a huff to see the vapor crystallize in the air as he replayed the intriguing display of magic he just witnessed.
Just as his thoughts shifted to her, Caramyn emerged from the hatch, huddled in her coat and cloak. She smiled at him softly, then looked up and down at the masts. “Are we still leaving?”
“Your friend says we are. But if we’re still at this dock in five minutes, I’m taking the damn wheel myself.”
“Ha! Good luck with that.” Brenn called from across the deck.
Just as Brenn finished the words, a heavy door swung wide open, and Veylan appeared, stumbling out of his room and teetering across the ship to the wheel, clad in his thick furs and leathers.
“Let’s get a move on. The sooner I get you fools off my boat, the better.
” He grasped the wheel, taking a swig of drink from a flask before pointing with it towards the horizon.
“Around the mountains and up the river. Then you all get off my ship and never involve me in your business again.”
“Quite a bargain.” Asterious narrowed his eyes at the man, watching him carefully as he set them on their course from the docks. The ship cut through the icy waters with ease, navigating the coast where snow-banked rocky edges gave way to deep velvet waves rolling in from the sea itself.
He tore into a piece of dried deer meat he’d found in the galley, walking over to Caramyn, who stood near the bow of the ship, watching the blue water below as they sailed between the fjords.
“Are you hungry?” He handed her a piece of jerky, and she took it with a slight nod. “Sorry it’s not Crisyn’s pastries you like. But it’s something.”
A small laugh escaped Caramyn’s lips. “I miss Azell. I miss everyone—well, except Wryan.”
“Wyran.” The name tasted bitter in Asterious’ mouth.
“A snake in the grass. I ordered the others not to let him leave. I don’t know what else he would do in my absence.
I don’t understand what it is about you that’s made him so hostile.
” He stared ahead. “It feels like another person I’ve lost, but in a different way.
I trusted him so much, but now I fear I don’t know who he truly is. ”
“He’s shown you who he truly is for a long time Asterious. He gets in your head and uses it against you. But you try so hard to see the good in people, even when they don’t deserve it.
“I still haven’t decided if it’s a weakness or a strength.”
“Maybe both.” Caramyn shrugged. “But there has to be a line.”
“I guess I finally found it at the edge of the Shadow Woods.”
He said it through clenched teeth, half-joking, but the truth was much harsher.
The line hadn’t been crossed when Wyran flogged him until he bled, or when he’d driven knives into his own flesh at Wyran’s command, all in the name of “discipline.” It hadn’t been when Wyran spoke openly of his hatred for magic, or of what a pity it was that Asterious was a tainted half-Lightborn.
None of that had been the line, because Asterious hadn’t been looking for one.
He’d made excuses, told himself he owed Wyran his freedom, only to realize too late that it had been another kind of prison.
Wyran hadn’t chained his body. He’d caged his mind.
And the line hadn’t been drawn by anything done to him, because he could endure it.
But the moment Wyran hurt Caramyn, the line became unmistakably clear as day.
“What do you plan to tell him when we get back?” White fog puffed from her reddened lips with each word, and she buried her nose into her cloak.
Asterious tilted his head, never taking his eyes off her.
“I’m going to tell him to fall at your feet and beg for your forgiveness.
..because he’ll never gain mine.” He caught a glimpse of the small smile she tried to hide just before it flickered from her face.
She looked away, refocusing on the open water ahead.
For a while, there was only the sound of the churning water and creaking ship, and the sound of Brenn uttering things back and forth with the captain.
Until Asterious could no longer stave off his curiosity.
“Speaking of deception, how do you know this Brenn is trustworthy?” The question must have caught Caramyn off guard by the way she blinked and shot a quick glance over.
“How do you know he isn’t?” Caramyn asked, dropping a curled fist on the hull. “If he hadn’t healed me, I might not have even survived. And if it weren’t for his help with the poison, I might still be getting passed amongst Frostlords as we speak.”
Asterious grimaced at the thought of those vile men anywhere near Caramyn, and he had to draw in a slow breath and focus on his heartbeat to keep the wolf in him tame. The chill of the cold didn’t feel so bitter anymore as something like fire rose within him.
“Then for that, I suppose I owe him a chance to prove himself. But if he truly thinks I hate his kind, he’s certainly a bold fool to wield it in front of me so carelessly the way he does.”
“A bold fool…or simply bold? Because he doesn’t hide who he really is?
It’s what we’re so used to doing, isn’t it?
You and me. We’ve spent so long hiding who we are, it seems dangerous to finally meet someone who doesn’t.
” Her stare cut him like the cold. “Maybe it’s time we consider that the parts we hide might just be our greatest strengths. ”
“I’ve considered it. But I don’t want that strength if it costs me everything,” he sighed.
She held his gaze, the wind sending wisps of her hair flying out from beneath her hood. Asterious reached up to sweep her hair back, and then hesitated, withdrawing his outstretched hand as soon as he had lifted it. He couldn’t risk touching her here.
“And what of you, my lovely mystery?” he asked, closing his fist at his hip. “Are you so bold now to let the world see the Witch of the Shadow Woods?”