Chapter 40
Forty
Rowan
Gods, she’s smaller than I remembered. Not in stature, but in weight, like the forest itself has been chewing her down to bone and shadow. Her eyes glisten, hollowed by grief, her fingers trembling as though she doesn’t know whether to clutch me to her chest or run.
I drop to my knees in front of her. The forest floor soaks my trousers, cold mud clinging to the fabric, but I don’t care. I need her to see me, to believe.
“I thought you were dead,” she chokes, tears streaking down her face. She embraces me like it’s the last thing she’ll ever do, her sharp nails digging into the skin at my back.
“Dead? Adelasia I’ve been looking for you this whole time,” I whisper, holding her with the same ferocity, terrified she’ll vanish into smoke if I don’t.
The bond line sears again, proof thrumming between us. She lets out a broken sound and collapses into me, no longer holding me, but silently begging to be held. I bury my face in her hair, breathing her in. My chest caves with relief.
“I lost everything,” she sobs against me. “I buried you both in my heart. I was alone. I thought—” her voice breaks. “I thought I killed you.” Her fingers fist in my coat, trembling. “Kaius—”
“He couldn’t come,” I say quickly, pulling back enough to meet her gaze. “The desert would have burned him alive. He wanted to. He nearly tore himself apart when I told him I’d go alone. But I had to. I couldn’t let the sun take him. And the desert was our last hope.”
Her eyes widen, shimmering with disbelief and hope so fragile it physically hurts to look at. “He’s alive?”
“Yes,” I promise, pressing my forehead to hers. “He’s waiting for you.”
She’s shaking in my arms, but it isn’t fear anymore. It’s release.
I hold her tighter, as though I can press the months of absence out of existence. As though I can make everything she’s been through dissolve. All that matters is her heartbeat thundering against mine, her breath hot and wet against my neck, the bond line thrumming like fire between us.
“I need you Rowan. Please. Let me feel something real.”
The way she looks at me…it carves me hollow and fills me in the same breath.
I’ve spent so long searching for her, clawing across the world without wings, praying she was okay. Now she stands before me with eyes like shattered glass, begging me to prove what I already swore: that I am hers.
I can’t deny her. I wouldn’t even if I wanted to.
I step closer, my hand rising to cup her cheek. Her skin is damp with tears, her breath ragged, but when I touch her, she leans into me like she’s been starving for this.
“Darling,” I murmur, “you’ll feel me long after I’m gone.”
We do not make love as mortals do, careful and sweet. We devour each other. We take and give in equal measure, until the forest itself seems to hum with the power spilling between us.
Every kiss, every gasp, every shudder is a prayer to survival.
When she moans my name, low and desperate, I nearly weep. Not because of the pleasure, but because it means she remembers I am real. That I am here.
She pulls back just enough to look at me, her eyes wet and shining, her lips trembling. “Don’t leave me again.”
“Never,” I swear, voice breaking. “I am yours until there is nothing left of me. And even then—” My throat closes, but I force the words through. “Even then, I will find you.”
Her face crumples, and then she surges forward, clutching me like she’ll drown without me. And I let her, because I’ve been drowning too.
I press a kiss to her temple, not lust, not temptation, but reverence. The kind only grief and survival can carve.
Our bond is alive, coiling around us like molten lava, hot and merciless. It tugs at my soul until I almost collapse beneath the weight of it.
Let him feel it. Let Kaius know she is alive. She’s here. She’s safe with me.
I press my lips to her throat, tasting her pulse, her sweat, her tears. She arches against me with a sound that shreds me from the inside out. She wants to anchor herself in me. And I want to be anchored.
She sobs, pulling me closer, as though I’m the only thing keeping her from collapsing.