13. Lea
13
LEA
I watched as Zane marched off. As much as I didn’t want to be left alone with Diesel, I understood he had two young siblings to care for. I slowly turned my head back to face Jax.
I have to play this cool. I don’t want to raise suspicion and end up with my head on one of Diesel’s pikes.
“Thank you for coming, but you didn’t have to.” I folded my hands and addressed Jax’s mother before anyone else.
Omara walked before Jax and handed her a ceramic bowl of hot food. “Nonsense, dear. It’s nothing at all. We just want to help you in any way that we can.”
I couldn’t believe that this kind of woman had any part to play in the death of my parents.
Just because she was a Ransom didn’t make her evil.
I took the ceramic bowl off her and clutched it tightly. “Thank you. I haven’t really had an appetite the last few days, but I’m sure it’ll come in handy.”
“I completely understand. Don’t push yourself.” Omara placed her hand on my cheek, holding me there and looking deeply into my eyes as if she recognized my pain as an old friend. Of course, she did. She just recently lost her husband under mysterious circumstances.
I set my sights on the man standing behind Omara. I couldn’t help but wonder if he had something to do with Jax’s father dying—his brother. What would he benefit from killing his brother?
Diesel stepped closer, and I instinctively stepped away. He was surprised but hid it well.
My hands began to tremble, and I struggled to hold up the heavy bowl of hot food.
What am I supposed to do? I’m terrified of confronting this man. What if he comes back for the rest of us? What’s his ploy?
“We wanted to share some good news with you. I have decided to pay for the funeral of your parents fully; that way, you have nothing to worry about.” Diesel touched my shoulder, and I wanted to rip his hand off.
I could confirm now that it was definitely him that killed them.
His scent filled my nostrils… It was the same scent all over the crime scene.
I was certain it was him, and the worst part was that I couldn’t do anything about it.
“While I appreciate the offer, that’s not necessary. I can pull something together on my own.” I tried to reject his “generosity,” but he would not take no for an answer.
“Don’t worry about a thing, my child. That’s not something you need to handle anyway. You should be focusing on your studies.” He tilted his head slowly, but in a way, it was somehow threatening.
It was almost as if he was saying don’t make me look bad in front of others.
I slowly dropped my chin in a slight nod, letting him know I agreed—as if I had a choice.
“Excellent. Leave everything to me then.” As his grip loosened and fell away from my shoulder, the chilling realization washed over me: that very touch had been the most imminent threat to my safety.
Omara looked at her son and made a motion with her eyes. “Jax, why don’t you give Lea the flowers you picked for her?”
Jax seemed to have forgotten that he was holding them. He stared down at them momentarily before holding them out to me. “Here. I know you’ll put these to good use.”
I took them from him quickly, holding them in my arms as my heart fluttered.
It was the only glimmer of light in an otherwise bleak reality.
“You know, if you’re finding it difficult to continue living in the house, I would happily buy the building from you, including the land. That would give you quite the lump sum to move wherever you pleased.” Diesel tapped his chin as he looked up at my home as if it was a business opportunity. Of course, he would want to buy my family’s land.
It was fertile, and some of the best ingredients were grown here.
“I appreciate the offer again, but I want to stay where my family has lived. This place holds far more good memories than bad ones,” I stated firmly, staring him down. I could feel my wolf glint in my eyes, and though I wasn’t sure if the color shifted, I knew that, at least, I was standing up for myself.
“Very well. You know where to find me if you ever change your mind.” Diesel’s smile was too wide for his face.
As soon as Omara turned around, Diesel’s smile faded.
That was when I realized Omara barely knew what kind of man Diesel was.
R aindrops pattered onto my head, the scent of fresh soil rising to meet my nose. My heels sank into the soft ground. My body felt numb, immovable, like a statue. I clutched a bouquet of baby’s breath in a silent vigil.
The other attendees at the funeral expected me to say something, but I couldn’t help looking out at all the faces that knew my parents were being murdered and did nothing.
If everyone in the village banded together, we would have been able to overthrow Diesel, but everyone was too scared of losing their own families, so we remained in this constant hell.
Or maybe I was just looking for someone to blame.
I glanced at Zane and Jax sitting next to each other.
Mairy was sitting closer to the front, right by me.
Having this huge, ornate funeral felt disingenuous to who my parents were, but I didn’t have very much say in the matter.
Diesel took the reigns on everything.
I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him in the crowd. I feared I would shift on the spot, jump over this podium, and scratch his eyes. I had to play this cool. If I were to take him down for good, I would have to be strategic about it.
Any minor slip-up might very well result in my death.
Mema came up behind me, placing her hands on my shoulders to let me know I didn’t have to continue standing there.
I was startled by her presence but calmed down after seeing it was her.
“Let’s begin with the ceremonial condolences.” Mema raised a potion bottle with a swirling blue and purple liquid.
The country’s elites were the only ones who could afford the ceremonial condolence potion.
It allowed the grieving to send their condolences into the heavens.
I swung my bottles in circles slowly, allowing the liquid to swirl into a tornado.
“When you’re ready, please release your condolences.”
Ready? I don’t think anything will ever prepare me. If I could, I would hold on to my grief for the rest of my life if it meant I didn’t have to let go of another piece of my parents.
All the other bottles opened, and a shimmering cloud of colorful animals filled the air above us like a close.
I never entirely understood the purpose of condolence potions until just now.
A part of my heart felt lighter after seeing everyone else release theirs.
It wasn’t enough to completely wipe my pain away, but it was enough to make me feel closer to being alive rather than feeling dead… And that was precisely how I felt the last few days. I felt like a part of me died with my parents that day. No matter how hard I tried, I could never return and be the same girl I was.
This world was turning me hard and cold.
The bitterness within me took the place of the kindness and trust that I normally extended toward people.
Was this what it meant to grow up?
I hated it. The world’s monsters were swallowing up the goodness in me, and I hated it. I wanted to become stronger to protect what I had left from those monsters.
My fingers popped the cork off my condolence potion, and suddenly, a bright red stream of color burst out of the jar so fast that the glass shattered in my hand.
I nearly fell back from the force.
The animal that manifested for me was a giant red wolf that was howling in pain.
Suddenly, tears started streaming down my eyes again.
The sound of the howling was precisely the sound that my heart made when I found my parents dead.
Everyone else just looked at me in shock and silence.
Suddenly, the potion didn’t seem like such a good idea.
I felt like everyone could see me now.
Everyone now knew the actual pain in my heart.
It was hideous and ravenous, and as the other condolence potions died, mine continued.
I couldn’t take it anymore.
The way that their eyes watched me.
I darted away from the podium and into the trees. I wanted to go where no one could find me for a while. I wanted to be alone with my hideous and ravenous grief…
I t had now been a few weeks since the funeral, and I started going back to school again, even though it didn’t feel right.
I had heart palpitations every time I left my grandmother alone in that house. I worried that Striker would return when I was not there to defend our home. I spent the entire day worrying until I could get home and see that she was alright.
As the weeks passed, I started to feel silly for worrying so much. That was until one day when I returned home to find Mema wrapping her bleeding hand in a dishtowel.
“What happened? Did Striker come back?” I questioned without thinking much about it. In hindsight, it was terrible of me to have brought up that situation so flippantly.
“What? No, dear. Nothing of the sort. I was just outside in the garden today, and one of the potions went sour and blew up in my face. Luckily, my hand was the only thing that took any damage.” Mema tried to laugh it off, but I could see how much pain she was in.
“You say that you don’t need your hands to do everything. Come, let’s go to the Healing Center. You really should get that looked at.” I assured Mema through the door despite her protest.
“I really don’t want to pester anyone. It’s such a small wound.” She tried to convince me, but I could see the sheer blood that was tainting the pale yellow towel.
“Don’t be ridiculous. You look like that potion turned your hand into a blood faucet.” I wasn’t about to hear any of it today.
We reached one of the neighboring villages, which had the closest Healing Center.
A nurse quickly checked her in, and another one came to inspect her wound. She peeled back the pale yellow towel, and I nearly fainted from how disfigured Mema’s hand was. “Goodness, this will take much more than just a potion to fix this.”
“That’s fine. Whatever she needs, we’ll figure out the payment later.” I agreed immediately without even discussing it with Mema.
“I’m sorry to inform you that the potions department has yet to receive payment for a line of debt that your family owes. We can only treat you or your grandmother once you fully repay the debt.”
“Are you serious? So you’re just going to let my grandmother walk around with a disfigured hand for the sake of money?” I was fuming at this point. It was a miracle that I didn’t shift under the amount of pressure I was under.
“I’m sorry, but that’s our policy. My hands are tied. If you can’t pay us back, we will have to seek any collateral that might be under your family’s name,” she added without much emotion. And it wasn’t as if she didn’t care, either. She had said this so many times before that she had become desensitized.
“You want to take away our home? You wanna take the only thing we have left? How despicable can you people be?” My eyes filled with hot tears, but I refused to cry in front of her.
“I really am sorry. I wish there were more I could do. I recommend you run that wound under cold spring water and apply a healing salve twice daily.” She bowed her head before turning her back and leaving.
I stood frozen, dumbstruck by the weight of the news. A tightness constricted my chest, making each breath a struggle. My throat burned as if scorched by the words just spoken while my stomach twisted into knots. The reality crashed over me like a relentless wave: we were on the brink of losing our house, our sanctuary. Everything we had built and cherished was slipping through our fingers.
Whatever the debt was, it didn’t matter. We wouldn’t be able to pay it back, and with Mema injured, I would have to be the only one harvesting supplies.
I’d have to forgo school altogether.
My world was crumbling around me; I could not keep it together no matter what I did.
I needed to figure out a way to get us out of this situation before we ended up homeless.
“Don’t worry about it, dear. That’s my job to figure it out. I’m an adult and your legal guardian now. I just need you to continue focusing on your school.” Mema tried to console me, but we both knew what was happening.
I turned to her as a tear dropped out of my eye. “You know that’s not going to work. We will only get out of this if I quit school and start making money. Besides, considering I’m much younger, it would be much easier.”
“But that’s not right. I’m supposed to be able to take care of you.” Her shoulders drooped.
An expression of failure and defeat spread across her face as the realization set in.
“You already care for me, and I don’t mind doing my part to keep our family’s land. This is more important.”
I smiled against my teeth, trying to convince her that this decision didn’t break my heart.
“But what about your dream of becoming a famous potionist? You would have done such a good job.”
I shook my head quickly, mostly because I would cry if I thought about it too long. “Let’s not forget what Mama said, ‘You can never silence true talent.’ We will find a way, as we always do.”
“How did I get so lucky and blessed with a granddaughter like you?” She held my face and pulled me close so our foreheads touched.
“We’ll get through this. Our ancestors are strong; they will guide us.” She sounded so sure in her voice, but I was not so convinced.
I hope you’re right about them, Mema. We could use some divine intervention right now.