25. Lea
25
LEA
A searing pain burned through me, waking me up from a deep sleep.
I grabbed onto my stomach and cried out in pain.
Dineta was beside me the very next moment.
“Something’s wrong with the baby! Why does it hurt so much? ” A scream ripped from the core of my being, stirring everyone in the cell as well.
“Your water broke.” Dineta’s eyes went wide. “Okay, we need to get a guard!”
I never thought in a million years I would ever hear Dineta say that!
“Guards! Guards! Come quick!” My cellmates began calling over a guard to help.
I watched to see which guard it was.
His footfalls didn’t sound heavy enough to be the short, stout one or the tall, burly one.
As soon as he came into view, I breathed a sigh of relief. One of the newer guards was far kinder and less likely to beat me up in a corner. “What’s all the commotion?”
“The baby’s coming! She needs to go to the Infirmary!” Everyone started shouting all at once, making it difficult for the guard to understand.
He shook his head, pulled the keys from his side, and unlocked the cell.
Everyone in the cell parted so he could see me lying on the floor.
His narrow face fell upon realizing what was happening. “Damn! It’s you. Uhhhhh— Alright, come with me.”
He crouched down, threading his arms under my shoulders and picking me up from the floor.
Dineta tried to hold on to my hand so she could come with me, but the other guards kept everyone back. “Lea!”
Her voice echoed through the halls as they carried me away.
The next thing I recognized was the white infirmary walls.
I looked around for a familiar face, but I was surrounded by strangers.
I want someone here that I know! Dineta… Mema.
“There’s something wrong. The baby’s not coming out.” I heard a familiar voice that caused me to look down.
It was the kind nurse with big brown eyes. She wasn’t allowed to tell me her name, as it was customary for keeping the inmates dehumanized, but I liked to call her Sally in my head. It was one of my favorite flowers in the Dask forest.
The Sally flower smelled like honey and comforted me in times of trouble. Sally suits her just fine.
“Lea, I need you to relax. I’m going to try to adjust the baby.” She looked over my knees at me. Her big brown eyes were weary from the late night.
I want to relax, but it hurts so much.
I squeezed my eyes tight, trying to bring my mind somewhere else.
The faces of everyone I’ve ever cared for flashed through my mind.
Although I was doing this alone, I remained strong… Just like Miller told me to do.
Miller.
My heart ached thinking of the last time I saw him.
He never came back after he stuck up for me.
I won’t let your sacrifice be in vain!
“It’s working! Here it comes!” Sally shouted.
My insides burned. I could almost hear the tearing of my muscles in my ears.
I dug my nails into the bed sheets, praying for relief.
Then, as suddenly as it started, it was over.
I slumped into the bed.
Everything was quiet, and then, suddenly, it wasn’t.
An angelic cry filled the room.
I didn’t have the strength to lift my head.
Sally walked around to me with a bundled blanket in her arms. She smiled at me, unable to contain herself. “Congratulations. It’s a boy.”
She lowered him into my arms and stood by as I admired the gentleness of his face.
He looks so innocent. What must it be like to be unblemished by the world?
I traced my finger gently over his small tuft of vanilla hair. “Part of me was worried he would come out with black hair… Like his father. I wanted him to look more like me, but now that I’m seeing him—I’m just glad he’s breathing.”
He stirred from his comfort and started crying again.
“Ohh, my son. Be still. Don’t cry. The world’s more beautiful now that you’re here.” I leaned forward, kissing the top of his head. “Jason.”
“Pardon?” Sally clasped her hands and moved closer with her big brown eyes angled at me.
“His name will be Jason, like the Jasondrian plant.” I smiled, running my fingers over his nose gently. “It’s a plant that only blooms once every fifty years. Apparently, the ancients believed it has a special connection to the goddess sisters, Lunaira and Solara. It’s said to have the ability to heal anything.”
“What made you think of that?” Sally sat down next to me with a slight tilt to her head.
“Because seeing his face just revived my soul.” Serenity overcame me. For the first time in a long time, I was at peace.
“Alright, Nadir. We are taking you back to the cell.” The short, stout guard, who had sneaked into the room at some point, reached for me. He hated me from the very beginning. So, he must have just been looking for the opportunity to drag me back. “Nurse, take the baby.”
“Are you kidding me? This mother has undergone extremely strenuous conditions. She has tearing and internal bleeding. I will need a day to stitch her back up and a week to monitor that she doesn’t die at our hands.” Sally stood up and scolded the guards.
I had never seen her so forthcoming before. It was impressive.
“You want this inmate scum to stay here for a week? You must be out of your mind!” His chubby cheeks turned red from fury.
“How many times have you given birth, Dewitt?” She wasn’t about to give in to him, and judging by his dumbfounded face, she was about to win the argument. “That’s what I thought. She’s my patient. She’s under my license. I will call you when she’s ready to go back. Until then, do not bother me or my patient again. The more you stress her out, the longer she must stay here.”
So his name was Dewitt?
Flustered and with nothing else to say, he turned around and charged out of the Infirmary with his other guards following behind him.
“Truly, you are an angel that walks among mortals. I am in awe of you.” I slowly sat myself up. “Was that true? What you said about all the tearing?”
“Not at all, but he doesn’t know that. You will feel an immense amount of soreness for a while. It’s better for you if you’re not recovering in a jail cell.” Her face twisted into a mixture of disgust and dread. She then scooped the baby up in her arms, much to my dismay. “Now, it’s time for you to rest. I’ll have baby Jason right over here when you wake up.”
As much as I wanted to sit here and look at him all night, I was beyond exhausted. I wasn’t even sure if I responded to her.
The darkness came over me quickly, and that night, I had the most beautiful dream.
I saw Jason as a young boy, strapping and full of life. I saw myself with him as well. I didn’t know how to feel about being a mother, but now that I saw him, it was all I wanted to be.
I’m going to get out of this place eventually, and we’ll have a wonderful life together. Won’t that be lovely?
I awoke to a commotion outside of my consciousness.
“No! He can’t be taken away so soon. It’s not fair!” Sally’s soft voice cracked from the strain of shouting.
My eyes fluttered open to see that my baby was being seized by someone I’d never seen before.
She wasn’t a nurse or a guard. Her outfit was a tight purple dress made of leather with magic shimmering through the woven fabric. “We cannot have a baby here. Are you out of your mind? If she doesn’t have anyone in her family that can take her, then the baby will be given away.”
I sat up too quickly and felt all the organs in my body jostle to one side, making me sick. “Where are you taking my baby?”
“Listen, he will be taken today either way. You might as well secure a place in your family for him to go or else you won’t be seeing him again ever .” She marched toward me with her heels clicking against the floor.
Her eyes were a piercing purple.
She was startling.
The power coming off her was unimaginable. There was no way one body could hold so much. Where was it all coming from?
The thought of giving him up made me want to cry, but I refused to do that in front of this woman. “My grandmother. She will take him.”
“Contact her relative. See to it that the baby is gone by the time I return this evening.” She snapped her fingers at Sally and exited the room.
As soon as she was gone, Sally turned to me with tears streaming down her face. “Lea, I’m so sorry. I had no idea she would be back so soon. She was supposed to be gone for another month.”
“It can’t be helped.” I simply shrugged. What else could be done? Then an idea sparked in my head. “Can you do me one more favor?”
She nodded profusely. “Anything.”
“I need a pen and paper.”
She was confused by the determined look in my eye, but instead of asking for more information, she agreed.
They provided me with two thin sheets of paper and a single pencil. It was all I needed.
If I can’t be near my son, I at least want to protect him. I will create a protection potion made up of my own essence. I won’t be able to create it in my current circumstance, but Mema could.
I spent the rest of the afternoon brainstorming the perfect concoction for a protection potion. I needed it to be potent enough to attract others to help him if necessary. This was the first time I had tried to make something like this.
I wish I had Miller here to ask… He was an intuitive potionist.
I looked down at my calloused and peeling fingertips. I couldn’t even understand what was causing my fingers to look like that. Was it the roughly woven clothes or the stone floors we slept on?
As much as these hands had been through, they could take it. They’ve hardened and grown stronger because of it, much like me.
I was just as capable. I had to be… For my baby.
I shook the trepidation from my bones and trekked on.
Perhaps I’m thinking about it too literally. It isn’t a potion that needs to be protected, per se. It needs to influence others to want to protect.
I tapped the pencil against my dry lips in thought.
Something that influences something—or someone… That’s it!
It hit me like a bolt of lightning. Before being trapped in this awful place, I remember reading about a plant.
The pheromones it gave off made local fauna desire to protect it from harm, but what was the name of it?
I shut my eyes tight, transporting myself back to that memory. The pages were clearly in front of me, laid out as if I could reach out and touch the book.
My fingers lined the edge of the page flipping it back once.
The page on the left had a picture of thick vines and a three-leaved herb with small white flowers budding at the top.
Just below the picture, it stated that the plant was found in the mountainous regions of Anterra and was called…
My mind tried to focus on the image, but the words appeared blurry as I struggled to remember.
I hadn’t paid as much attention to the name, but I remembered that it sounded funny.
Something like—A chilly dear. Anchil—Anchillider! That’s it!
My heart leaped into my throat, and my eyes popped open. “I can’t believe I remembered that.”
I looked at the potion’s recipe before me, and something within me told me it was perfect. Adding anything more would cause an imbalance. I had no explanation for why I felt it was fitting since I’d never tried anything like this before, but I often felt a stillness in my chest when I perfected a potion.
A smile spread across my face.
My attention fell on Jason, who was sleeping peacefully in my arms.
Having him close to me gave me back the strength this place had been draining me of. I couldn’t imagine letting him go now, but I would have to. “I swear to love and protect you with all I am. I will return to you one day. So wait for me.”
The Infirmary doors flew open then, and I knew the time had come.
The peace I felt moments ago experienced a quick death.
I wanted another minute or another hour.
No amount of time would ever be sufficient for me.
My fingers quickly folded the potion recipe and tucked it away in Jason’s blanket.
The guards wouldn’t check the baby before leaving.
“The Nadir relative is here for the baby.” The tall, lanky guard came in with his hands tucked behind his back respectfully. He looked at me with a fleeting look of apology in his eyes. He knew that what they were doing was cruel and unusual punishment.
Everything else ceased being important as I saw Mema step out from behind the guard.
Suddenly, I was a little girl again, scared and wanting her hug.
“Lea!” Every ounce of decorum had fled her body the moment she saw me. She was at my side instantly, hugging me so tightly that I could hardly breathe.
I would rather not breathe than tell her to loosen her grip.
Hot tears began rolling down my face.
The reaction was instantaneous.
My heavy heart resonated with hers.
Mema pulled away momentarily, realizing I was holding the baby in my other arm. “And who is this handsome fellow?”
“This is Jason. You’re great-grandson.” I smiled, trying to wipe the tears away before they dripped onto Jason’s face.
“Hello, my love. It’s such a pleasure to meet you.” She tapped his nose gently, making him laugh. Then, her eyes focused on mine. It was as if she could see the weariness building up in my soul.
I didn’t have to tell her of the horrors I endured.
She knew somehow. She always knew. “Continue being strong for me. I will not abandon you. If there is any way to get you out of here, I will find it.”
“I’m trying.” My bottom lip quivered.
It’s funny. I thought I would be much stronger when she arrived, but I felt like a little girl again.
“I know, baby. I know.” She pulled my head forward and kissed my brow for a long while.
“I’m sorry, but she and the baby need to come with me now.” The lanky guard hung his head, disappointed in his own duty.
“So soon?” The words barely left my lips.
My lungs felt weak.
“I don’t want to cause you any problems here.” Mema squeezed my hand, trying to hold herself back.
I handed her Jason and leaned close. “There’s a potion in there for Jason. Please follow it exactly and give it to him. That’s all I can do to protect him from here.”
She gave me a small nod—one that was so slight only I was meant to pick up on it. She helped Jason close to her chest and looked at me one last time. “I love you, sweet girl. Remain strong for me.”
I felt like my heart was leaving my body. I covered my mouth to prevent my sobs from being heard.
Before I knew it, they were gone.
The emptiness quickly crawled its way inside of me.
I curled up on my side and wallowed in my pain. What else was there to do about feel? And I had all the time in the world to do it…